A Year Later

Last October I wrote about the u-turn I took in my life as a result of going to the doctor a year ago.?As a quick reference, here is a link to:?“A Post for Men Who “Don’t Go to the Doctor” Since pushing that out there, I have received a number of emails, phones calls, and text messages from a wide assortment of people from my network asking me all sorts of questions about my “health transformation.”?More specifically, I was really amazed at how many men gave me a ring and spoke to me about this topic – in depth.?They shared their own struggles and personal stories as to where they were with their own health, how they got there, and where they wanted to be.??

I am sensitive to the fact that LinkedIn is not (nor should be) Facebook, and by no means am I interested in joining the latest parade of people pounding their chest on non-business-related items.??But, my health – and that of so many others in my network – is so directly correlated to my ability to perform professionally, I am taking the liberty to share an update on my progress and responses to some of the questions I received from those who were so kind as to read the blog and to send me a note.?

?Question:?What formula did I use to lose more than 25% of my body weight?

As much as I’d like to believe I had a formula, the reality was, my solution was (and still is being) formed daily.?I had to try new ways of doing things in order to break old habits.?I had to learn what habits I had—and wasn’t even aware of—that needed to be broken and then craft an action plan accordingly. But more importantly, I had to get my mind to the right place.?I had to get committed to the journey and comfortable with being uncomfortable.?I needed to retrain myself to embrace the discomfort of hunger and celebrate as many mini-milestones as I could along the way.?

The first 2-4 weeks of the journey were not easy, by any means.?Nothing felt comfortable and EVERYTHING felt like a sacrifice.?And that 2-4 weeks felt more like 2-4 months.?Though, that’s all it was.?In less than 30 days, it all got easier.?A LOT easier.?My body started to embrace the concept of a new norm and some of the new habits I was instituting started to feel more comfortable.?More normal.

Some of the behavior changes I instituted included:

1.??Intermittent Fasting:?I made sure to be done with consuming calories for the day by 7:pm and didn’t start re-consuming calories until noon the following day.?I DID NOT give up coffee nor did I give up creamer (but did switch to oat-based creamer).

2.??A healthy meal to break the fast:?I began to purchase pre-packed salads from Costco.?A triple win idea: less than 500 calories, less than $5/meal, and less than 5 minutes to prepare.?Which means, by my 6 pm dinner, I had only consumed 500 calories - all of which were good calories.

3.??Re-wrote my dinner plans:?I just made my dinners healthier.?I cut out red meat and started eating a LOT more vegetables and fish.?More importantly, I stopped stuffing myself each meal.?I served myself one plate—and had just that.?No cleaning the plates of my children or perpetually snacking on the leftovers until I was too full to walk.?

4.??Calories burned earns freedom:?I put in place a mindset that if I were to burn more than 500 calories from activity during any day, I would be able to treat myself with something equal to the total calories over 500.?So if I burned 650 calories on a bike ride/walk/run, then I would have a 150 calorie glass of wine as my treat.

In short, if you can limit gross calorie intake to 1,500 calories or less, then you end up losing weight (for someone my size, at least).?As I progressed, I morphed into trying to get that number below 1,000.?The result was losing between 1-2 pounds a week.?

Question: What are the biggest differences I have noticed and appreciated?

What happened for me was quite simple:?I started liking myself more.?I liked how I felt and how I looked.?I LIKE how I feel and how I look.?After more than 20 years of NOT feeling this way, my appreciation for these emotions is evident.?I don’t take it for granted. I know that it can be taken back away from me if I don’t stay committed to a healthier lifestyle.?

And when I like myself and my current state, I find that I am just a nicer person to those around me.?I have more energy to be loving, and more interest to pursue the adventures of life with my family.?I was no longer "hiding" from life, rather, going out there and pursuing it.?

Question:?What am I doing to keep the weight off? ?

I had read about the overall efficiency of running.?Of all the personal exercises out there, running seemed to have the greatest calorie-burn per minute of activity.?So, I forced myself to start a running program.?The first time out—about a year ago—I could not even run a full mile without needing to stop.?The day after, I added another tenth of a mile to that total, and the day after, another tenth.?I just kept at it, incorporating the right amount of rest into the schedule, and eventually built up my overall distance.?

Today, my running has become a pretty big part of feeding my happiness.?I’d be lying if I told you that "I just love running,” though it’s truthful to state that I love the feeling I get when I am done. And that feeling has become a huge part of my life.?Whether I am running a 5k, 10k, 50k or even a 100k—the feeling after each is what has gotten me hooked on staying healthy.?

But honestly, running is a very small part of the overall equation.?Perhaps an important part, but definitely not the largest influencer.?Diet plays a much larger role than exercise does for me.?Exercise allows me to have more flexibility with my diet, but diet is what allows me to lose and/or maintain the weight I am at.?And it’s an all-the-time affair.?Every day, I know that if I am able to consume less than 2,000 calories through the day (I am 6’2”), then I will maintain my weight.?And for each calorie I burn exercising, I am giving myself some credit to have a treat of some sort, perhaps a glass of wine, a cookie, some M&M’s, etc..

Question:?What tips/advice can I offer someone seeking to do the same?

There is so much advice and so much information that can (and likely should) be consumed by anybody who is looking to make such a dramatic turn in their health. However, the one that seems to rise to me is likely the one piece of advice that just sounds the worst: “Get comfortable feeling selfish.”

For me, I needed to focus on MY health.?I need to figure out MY physical activity, MY diet, MY behaviors, and how I was going to change all of that.?To do so, it was inevitable that a level of selfishness was going to need to take place.?Not necessarily in a bad way; rather, in a way that would lend attention and focus toward the mission at hand: getting my health in check.?

I realized that, by telling my family what I was trying to do and getting them to crew me along the way, my selfish tendencies were far more acceptable than perhaps they would have been otherwise.?When I stopped buying ice cream, or left the house for a multi-hour run, or even cut off eating out in order to make small improvements in my health, the selfishness landed a lot more smoothly with their knowing that my actions were well intentioned. The more I was able to get comfortable with being selfish and gain the support from my family, the more I was able to pursue my healthy goals.?

Questions:?To what did I attribute the weight gain to begin with?

There isn’t any one thing to which I attribute the rise from my college weight of 205 to a peak of 285.?And by no means did the weight come on suddenly.?It was gradual.?More gradual than the weight loss process.?In reflection of what took place, and if I had to pinpoint it to one thing specifically, I’d say it was an overall lack of prioritization.?I simply did not prioritize my health.?

So when “life” started happening—the stresses of starting a new business, the challenges of being a good father, partner, and friend—I found myself with unhealthy coping mechanisms.?And as a result, ice cream, cookies, chips, pizza, candy, and Apply TV became my go-to.?

Question: Am I happier??

Happiness increased after the first pound of weight loss and just continued to increase from there.?As I got closer and closer to my goals, and as I felt that I was successfully sticking to my plan, the overall level of happiness and satisfaction just snowballed.?But what I noticed the most is that over time I had simply become tired of being disappointed in myself.?Every time I looked in the mirror (or avoided looking in the mirror), I felt a level of disappointment in myself.?And that became exhausting.?That was NOT how I wanted to live my life.?

As it all starting turning around, one pound at a time, I noticed how quickly the disappointment was replaced with pride and happiness.?The avoidance-of-the-mirror issue, the unwillingness to take my shirt off during times when you’d think one should, the overlaying of clothing, the overextension of the chin to flatten the double chin, and the perpetual excuses for why I was “too busy” to prioritize fitness all went away.?All of that was replaced with a level of pride, satisfaction and a sense of achievement, which led to greater confidence, joy, and happiness.

Other tips:

?1. Get vocal, be vocal - Make sure to tell others what you are wanting to do.?Be vocal about it.?Let your family know that you are on a mission, you need their support, and you need them as your accountability partner.?The more people you tell, the more support you will have along the journey.?Support equates to cheerleading, encouragement, and a ton of shoulders to lean on throughout the journey.?

2.?The first few weeks are the worst - Once you make up your mind to do a health u-turn in your life, just know that the first few weeks are tough.?There really is no sugar coating it.?They suck.?You are bringing about all sorts of changes to your body and your life.?Going to bed hungry will stink (but know that you won’t wake up hungry—crazy!).?But stick with it.?Embrace it.?Let this discomfort be a sign that you are doing something RIGHT!?

3.? Up and downs - expect it.?It’s a roller coaster ride.?Some days will be great, others will be horrible.?For me, it was NOT GIVING UP on the horrible days, and trusting that tomorrow was likely going to be a great day.?The process was never perfect and mistakes were always made.?Just don’t give up.?If you find yourself gorging on some junk food, or being crazy lazy for a week, then put that behind you and get back at it tomorrow.?Never let your failures carry over from day to day.

4.? Set a very clear goal - I went out and purchased a bunch of weights, and for each 2.5 pounds I lost, I shifted a weight from one stack (my current weight) to the other stack (weight lost). It allowed me to “feel” my progress. The weights were my goals.?I could see them, feel them, and manage them.?Make your goal as real as possible, and do whatever you can to truly appreciate and understand the magnitude of what you are about to do.

Before I sign off, I truly want to thank everybody who supported me along the way.?My family was incredible, my friends were amazing, and my business network has truly been motivating to me.?Taking care of our health is a massive challenge that simply can’t just “wait until tomorrow.”?I embraced that mentality for too long, though now, I'm glad to be back at a place that makes me happy, feel great, and will hopefully keep me around just a little bit longer.

If, at any time, you decide to take on a similar journey and are looking for someone to encourage you, support you, or give you some tips and tricks along the way, feel free to reach out to me.?I am always more than happy to help.?And I mean that.