A year later.....

In December of 2022 I found myself at my lowest point. In September of 2022, I experienced the sudden loss of my mother, in a moment my life changed, I have spent my life pushing myself to success to take care of my mother. I had made a promise to take care of her, and felt I was just a few months away from fulfilling that promise, the sudden loss of my mother left me shaken and devoid of the fuel I have always used to drive me, I felt like I was in a fog. My mother, who loved me endlessly and expressed it often gave me life and now that was gone.

Simultaneously, I was facing challenges at my job. I suddenly was blamed for things that even after I left did not get done. I knew it was all being weaponized against me, how often could others fail, and I could not. I was made to feel like I needed to sacrifice who I was and compromise Andre. I was lied upon, the actual words of “someone else was doing my work” came out of a leader’s mouth. I could not believe it, how did I fall into this and let my guard down, I know better. ?

It is interesting, when you are at your lowest how you respond. Throughout my career, I have been successful, surpassing expectations. My success had always been attributed to the great people around me, and a focus to do better and be better every day, to learn and grow and my resilience. However, at that moment, I felt drained and lacked my usual fighting spirit. I thought I had failed my mother, and the weight of that failure took its toll. Even with great support from my team and peers, the death of my mother had taken away my mental toughness, and I was frustrated with myself.

By October of 2022 I knew it was a wrap for me. I also knew nothing I would do would restore it. I told my work spouse “well the mighty has fallen” referring to myself, they did not believe it at first. But over time began to see the cracks, as it began to happen to them. BTW, I was angrier about that than I ever was about what happened to me.?

I began a job search in October 2022 and received an offer on November 18th. It was a good offer with a good company, but I did not accept it, and I really do not know why, I guess it did not feel right. I wonder had I been in a better head space would I have accepted that job. I also got headhunted by two other organizations, both S&P 500 companies, but did not bite. Perhaps I did not take it because I didn’t want to leave my team, they were incredible, and I felt responsible for them.? Or, maybe, for the first time in my life I had doubts about my abilities. ?Still today I cannot tell you, I just know I could have moved on and chose not to.

I do not blame anyone for not moving on, it was my choice, but I did blame myself for allowing doubt to creep in. I am known for my resilience, tough skin, and being compassionate. So, I decided to prepare for the next part of my journey. I remember asking my boss “Do, I need to find another job.”? I did not get a yes or no answer and thus the answer was yes. So, I prepared, no complaining, no woe is me, none of that. Simply, it is time to move on and how can I do so in the best way for both myself and my team.

As 2023 began, my position was eliminated. I welcomed this development since I had decided my time was up in October. I left as I came in with appreciation and respect for the wonderful team, I had the honor of leading, but it was time for the next phase in my journey. Not once did I complain about my boss, the company, the circumstances, what good would that have done. Life is too short to waste time in a place and on a leader that do not deserve you.

My plan was to take six months off to recharge, as I was mentally drained. I was also upset with myself for being deceived. Reflecting on why I left a fantastic job for that one, I guess I fell for a false promise, but that is my fault, I know better and didn’t heed the warning signs.?

I decided that I would travel with a focus on road trips, exploring. But a funny thing happened on the coast of Oregon, that beautiful place, cold, but stunning, I realized I still loved HR and loved my career. I had much more to give, and HR still excited me. Although I enjoyed the mental relaxation, I felt excited and rejuvenated about finding an amazing opportunity.

In February 2023, just four weeks after my position was eliminated, I started seeking new opportunities. Remarkably, even in the face of the greatest tragedy of my life, I knew exactly what I wanted and the type of organization I sought.

No organization is without flaw, we humans are imperfect. There will always be individuals who do not appreciate you, doubt you, etc. The key is to know your base standards, what you will and wont accept and how it applies to your value system. And to find a place that allows you to be the person you choose to be. By March of 2023, I had received three offers and had chosen an organization that made me feel valued, respected, and appreciated.

Why did I share this? Because you may have experienced a challenging 2023, the worst year of your life and/or career. You may be targeted, not appreciated, not valued, lied on and sabotaged. I encourage you to keep moving forward, don on your resilience hat, fail forward to your next moment of greatness. Treat setbacks as opportunities to reset and rediscover, do not linger in places that do not deserve you, do not fear change, and activate your "next move" strategy.

In one year, I went from the worst year of my life to a year I can be proud of. I miss my mother every day, but know how proud she was of me, how excited she was about my successes. I also have the fortune of being surrounded by loved ones, my dad and grandmother and family and dear friends, my tribe.

A year later could be the difference from your worst to your best. Embrace the journey!

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