The Year He Lost: A Journey to True Wealth

This is a story my Dad wrote, many years ago.

"It was July 20, 1970. The clock read 3:02 A.M. as I drove to my office in South Miami, listening to the radio. Another 18-hour workday lay ahead. While cruising the dark highway, I mentally cataloged the day’s events as the owner and CEO of my business conglomerate. Suddenly, the voice on my car radio broke through my thoughts: “A year ago today, man landed on the moon.”

?Hold on, I thought. A year ago? My God, I’ve lost a year of my life.

?I pulled into my regular all-night restaurant and ordered my usual breakfast: a cup of coffee and two doughnuts. “What’s the matter, Al?” my waitress asked. “You’re crying.”

?By the time I reached my office, my hands were shaking, and my brain felt like mush. I picked up a piece of paper to write a memo, but tear drops spilled onto it. I kept repeating to myself, A year ago. My God, I lost a year.

?A year of what? What did I miss? What did I do? What did I want? A year of my life had just vanished. I was at the height of my career, with three kids, a wife, a waterfront home, a housekeeper, five cars, two sailboats, and two big dogs to guard the house while I was gone. I owned an advertising and public relations firm, a bridal salon, several real estate companies, a premiums company doing business with banks throughout the Southeast, and pleasure boats off the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami and the Americana Hotel in Puerto Rico. I thought I was running all those businesses, but suddenly, I realized they were running me, like a rat on an exercise wheel, driving me into the grave.

?My wife used to say, “Slow down. We all love you, and you are killing yourself. The kids don’t even see you anymore.” My terse response was always something like, “What the hell do you want from me? You have plenty of money. You can’t have that and love too.”

?My meetings with my staff went much the same way. I said what I wanted and didn’t have time for their input. Our brainstorming sessions were short, with me doing all the talking. I showed no emotions other than anger when things didn’t go my way and had no respect for anyone who tried to stand in my way. I was the chief, and everyone had to know it. I was Macho Man.

?At 5:00 a.m., after being in my office for about an hour, I woke my wife with a phone call. “I’ve had it. I’m going to get rid of everything and just disappear. I’m getting out of this rat race, and if you want to come with me, fine. If not, that’s fine too.”

?Back then, it was called a nervous breakdown. Burnout and mid-life crisis were not yet in vogue. I didn’t know about humanistic counselors, holistic healers, fitness gurus, and psychology books. All I knew was that I was suddenly hurting like never before. My heart was pounding, my eyes were dilated, and I was sure I would die before leaving my office.

?I sold all my businesses, some for profit and some for loss. But I didn’t care. I just had to get out. I was partially out anyway—out of my mind and making flawed decisions. I was totally flawed and very, very scared.

?I wound up in the mountains of North Carolina. I bought a 300-acre spread of eight mountains, hundreds of apple trees, thousands of rose bushes, rhododendron, and fresh air with no people around for miles. Soon, my family joined me. We settled in. I built a fishing lake, planted a large vegetable garden, built a riding corral and a road to our 65-year-old log cabin. I bought two horses, a jeep, a big hat, a few pairs of dungarees, and stared into space and cried a lot.

?I realized the emptiness in my life, and I was terrified. I had plenty of money, but that was it. I didn’t know how to show positive emotions or love. All I was ever taught was that I had to be a success and make a lot of money so people would respect me.

But lying on the grass of my new world, I realized that all the goddamned money in the world couldn’t bring back the year of my life I lost."

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Constructing True Wealth – What I learned from my Dad and from life

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The journey from that moment to building a life of true wealth taught me many lessons. Financial security, health, joy, and love are the pillars of a fulfilling life. Here’s what I have learned about each:

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1. Financial Security: Determine what financial security means to you. It’s not just about having money but having enough to live comfortably. Consider your lifestyle, debts, and longevity when planning. Work with trusted financial planners and create an emergency fund for unexpected expenses.

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2. Health: A commitment to a healthy lifestyle is crucial. Regular physical activity, a nutritious diet, staying hydrated, and maintaining strong social connections are key. Prioritize mental health by practicing gratitude and having a positive outlook.

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3. Joy: Distinguish between fleeting happiness and lasting joy. Pursue goals and find purpose in life. Practice gratitude, disconnect from technology occasionally, and cultivate a hopeful attitude. Joy comes from within and is nurtured by a sense of meaning and purpose.

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4. Love: Love yourself and others. Strong social connections and a supportive environment are essential for a meaningful life. Show patience, kindness, and gratitude in your relationships. Love brings meaning to the other pillars of true wealth.

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Building a life of true wealth means balancing financial security, health, joy, and love.

It’s a journey that requires introspection, commitment, and a willingness to change.

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Watch the full episode that inspired this blog post on YouTube

Check all the past Boomer Banter episodes on your favorite podcast app, or on my website.