This Year, Don’t Set Goals

This Year, Don’t Set Goals

Did the title of this piece cause you to raise an eyebrow?

Setting annual or quarterly goals is a predictable end-of-year activity for many of us. Goal-setting serves as a reliable game plan for the coming year and a reference for making progress along the way. And of course, goals are always “smart”- specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

So what’s wrong with setting goals?

According to Richard Boyatzis of the Coaching Research Lab at Case Western Reserve University, setting goals is often a declaration of something that we believe we should aspire to or are supposed to achieve. For many of us this creates an obligation, which in turn creates stress and activates the sympathetic nervous system, shifting our focus away from achievement and towards self-preservation.

In other words, the goal becomes something to avoid rather than pursue.

A more powerful and productive approach is to take a step back and set an intention for yourself first. Envisioning a desirable future state serves as a sort of inspiration magnet that you will naturally want to pursue, instead of a series of checklist items that you’ll be happy to leave behind.

With an intention as our guide – perhaps a talent to deepen, a skill to develop, or a new challenge to conquer – we are always in discovery mode. Instead of inflicting the self-judgment that comes with assessing goals as either “achieved” or “not achieved”, we can operate on a more fluid learning continuum that is never good or bad. Focusing on the intention means we will never feel imprisoned by our goals.

As an example, think about planning a cross-country road trip with the intention of experiencing as much of the United States as possible. A goal in support of that intention might be driving a minimum of 6 hours a day. Another might be to visit at least one iconic sight in every state en route. These goals can (and likely will) be modified to accommodate unexpected conditions along the way - with the objective of honoring the original intention. 

If you’re still feeling the need to articulate a goal or set of goals for the year 2021, think of them as mile markers on that longer journey. Here are some ways to do that:

  • Ensure that every goal is aligned with a larger purpose. If it doesn't point to something you genuinely care about then it should be called into question.
  • Make every goal manageable and malleable. The key to resilience when the going gets tough is taking small steps and making adjustments in order to maintain forward progress.
  • Orient every goal towards discovery. Allow serendipity to enter the picture and the possibilities will be more plentiful.

Be well,

Laura

What If you could have a better conversation with anyone? I can show you how! Download a complimentary copy of Making a Stronger Connection Using the Three Levels of Listening and discover the skill that all great mediators and coaches have mastered.  

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