A Year Back

Exactly one year ago today, I closed the doors on my corporate employment, leaving the 10-year career in data [first small, then BIG] behind. The decision was a long time coming and slow to implement, yet it was the best gift I could ever give to myself. Although my mind can’t help but crave the numerical quantification of the changes, they won’t speak to the quality of life better than these simple reflections.

Living in the present

?First 3 months of non-employment were really weird. Conditioned to always be on the go, I felt out of place not having to fight traffic, take regular lunches, talk to colleagues or get praised for a job well done. Traveling to Europe and spending a few months in New York felt like “another break”, a time to enjoy in between work that will soon end with the daily grind. I had to consciously break that mental pattern, resorting to meditation, doing nothing, dancing just because, rambling around museums, digging myself into books and simply having nowhere to go. That was surprisingly hard.

Instead of thinking about tomorrow to bring fictitious certainty to life, I learned to pay attention to the present moment, the very life that’s happening right now. It’s teaching me to get comfortable with the unknown, introducing an element of mystery, letting go of control. “The future is dark, which is the best thing the future can be...” It has surprised me on many occasions, showing that all I can do now is relax and enjoy the ride.

Being grateful for what I have

Giving up a regular paycheck taught me to appreciate what I have and showed how much I’ve already achieved. 15 years ago, I came to the US a poor lonely student. Learning the local ways, college subjects and ropes of employment, I ended up at Netflix, the best company in Silicon Valley in my opinion.

I saved enough, took care of my family, invested in markets, bought real estate. I stand firmly on my feet, yet had to convince myself of that. No matter what elaborate spreadsheets I’d put together for what-if scenarios, it all came down to switching from scarcity to abundance mindset, realizing that I have enough and the rest is details. Truly, it is about 80% psychology and 20% mechanics.

Figuring out what I really want

Finally, jumping ship allowed me to tune in and ask myself what I really want out of life. Many of us freeze up when given the world of choice, while others are afraid to even ask the question. If the answer does not come easily, the key is to continue living the question. For me, turning off the background noise of employment brought in real clarity, a luxury I could not seem to afford staying busy with day to day activities. Midway through last year, I started a fintech company, realized I want to pursue further studies to better understand the world, and reconnect with my roots deeply seeded in Ukraine (separate posts on all these to follow). 

After a perfect storm of a year, I hope to continue failing fast, looking at my fears straight in the eyes, and going past my comfort zone. It may never be easy or perfect, but that is exactly where all the fun begins.