The Year that was 2021: a story of personal challenge and growth

Over the past few years, I have got into the habit (thanks to Mr J North’s #ReflectThenElect) of reflecting over the year that has been. I missed it this year. Writing about what has happened is such a good way of processing things, closing the door on experiences, realising how you have grown and looking to the future.

So here I sit thinking about the year that was 2021. I know only a few of you will click all the way through to read a published article on LinkedIn. It takes effort to read a whole piece, rather than an easy post or a comedy TikTok (you have to wait a few days for that) so if you have, thank you! ?

I also wanted to write something for other people who might find themselves in the eye of a storm right now, to assure you that in time, you will emerge. It’s so important to burst that glossy social media bubble and be truthful about life being messy and complex. The more honest we are, the more we can help each other navigate it.

The perfect campaign – just not a marketing one

January 2021, I found myself deep in what can only be described as “an integrated campaign of mid-life misery.” At one end of the spectrum, an elderly parent who was in hospital just as COVID numbers were peaking again and an urgent scrabble for respite care. At the other end, instructing a lawyer to start the fight to get my disabled daughter specialist provision and the joy that is trying to get a tween through 10+ exams (if you know, you know ??.) On the professional front, 2020 had been the year that I had planned on getting strong foundations in place for Saltmarsh Marketing. But in reality I had been in free-fall since the shock of Lockdown 1 and was finding myself on the proverbial hamster wheel, frustrated about what I was able to achieve, no matter how hard I worked.

All in all, I had planned for most of the above.

But not EXACTLY at the same time. With a global pandemic backdrop. In yet another lockdown with the prospect of months of home school misery.

I mean really, I even kind of respect life for how it coordinated it all so well! ??

Your ten step programme to navigating mid-life misery (there isn’t one)

Jan-March 2021 was a period of intense overwhelm and huge stress. I felt:

• Directionless when it came to my business.
• Angry with the impossible / costly process to get my vulnerable child the support she needed.
• Worried for the pressure we were putting her brother under.
• Intellectually hopeless due to my inability to explain basic (apparently) grammar concepts to said brother.
• Anxious at the prospect of moving from our home of twelve years for new schools.
• Guilty. About everything. Especially my red wine consumption.

A huge range of emotions, many moving pieces, much uncertainty and the prospect of a lot of change, all whilst riding the never-ending dystopian COVID rollercoaster.

The stress during this time was intense. I had panic attacks as my cortisol levels were perpetually so high. It was often hard to see a way through the fog of chaos.

But of course, I live to tell the tale. And much as I would love to reveal my tried and tested methodology for navigating mid-life challenge during a global pandemic, I am sad to say I don’t have one! There are some things that I know helped and I would like to pay tribute to, and I hope might help others facing anything similar.

Me, me, me

There are many other things that I consistently put before me. Family, of course. Friends. Clients. Housework. But this year I finally realised that putting myself first means being as kind to myself as to everyone else. As with all good things, it’s a process and a journey, but am finishing 2021 feeling the effect of finally putting myself first so I can be the best me for everyone else. My well-being programme is growing all the time and involves weekly therapy (transformative), singing (which I adore), cold swimming (honestly – it’s brilliant) and in January I start running club.

Yup – it’s all for me! Because I am worth it.

Magical things happen when you finally prioritise yourself. 10/10 recommend.

Community

Whilst it is not especially novel to evangelise about the power of community, community has anchored me throughout the past two years. Amazing lawbreakers at She Breaks the Law. My cold water swimming community. Numerous virtual communities. The legal industry itself is a brilliant, vibrant community to be part of. Communities are so important for motivation, support, belief and innovation. They provide a sense of belonging and connectedness.

So find your community. Find lots of communities. They are there to support and motivate you during the challenging times.

Professional well-being

Professional well-being has never been so important after what we have worked and continue to work through. Being self-employed can be hard. It’s been critical to my professional well-being this year to have connected with clients who really value what I can do for their business, where we work as a team to grow the business together. Clients who have believed in what we can achieve through creative marketing, brand and digital, especially social media. Watching some of you grow your voices on here has been one of the highlights of my year!

This year I also had my Hugh Grant moment in realising that no woman is an island, took the plunge and invested to be able to grow. I am so grateful to have Sam and Cerian supporting Saltmarsh and to have developed a new and exciting collaboration with a fellow lawbreaker which I am hugely excited about! Launching soon….

There are SO many of you on here who I look to spur me on. I don’t think I would have got through 2021 professionally without your daily support, challenge and good humour.

Professional well-being, just like your own well-being, takes investment and work. Collaboration and asking for help where you need it is the key!

2021 sponsored by social media - AGAIN

It goes to say I could not have formed any of the above meaningful relationships without the power of social media. It’s core to what I do with my clients. It’s at the heart of my life personally. But whilst advocating for people and businesses to use, I am also increasingly aware of the need for digital well-being. I’ll be doing more on this in 2022.

Behind every social media extrovert there is quite often a massively tolerant partner who accepts that they are always in a three-way conversation with an iphone. 2021 could not have happened without the support of my non-official NED / CIO / FD. I started 2021 feeling professionally directionless and finish up with the pleasure of handing HIM the baton for a while, whilst he too enjoys the consultancy life with his first gig ?doing – guess what?! – a strategy for a legal tech company.

We’re hoping to do an awkward couples Christmas card to you all at the end of 2022.

Saying hello to 2022 quietly

So I start 2022 in a new home (stressful move in the middle of all of this just to keep it edgy), with children in new schools and a focus on well-being, personally and professionally. It’s been a year of challenge which I have only overcome by letting other people in, working as a team and admitting when and where I have needed help. And I know there will be many further challenges to come. That’s just life!?But I definitely have more tools in place now. And that’s personal growth.

So if you are reading this and feeling, as I was at the start of 2021, in the eye of the perfect storm, I hope some of this story might help you put some things in place to help you through.

Wishing everyone the gentlest and most peaceful 2022.

We can hope right?!