Yeah, I'm tired. You should be too.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the well-meaning words of support and encouragement from white allies who truly see the obstacles facing non-white America as they are, rather than as they’ve been taught to view them. I’m talking about the friends who’ve cast aside the “bootstraps” narrative in favor of embracing the realities of systemic opportunity gaps. I point to the leaders who humbly acknowledge the existence of white privilege, even though it feels like a cultural betrayal to do so. I understand that when these friends suggest that we “blow it off” or “stay positive” when we’re faced with the societal demons that search for the targets we’re born with on our backs, they’re doing their level best.

But…

Ya’ll just have no idea how exhausting the present dynamics of this country are for black and brown people.

The thing is, times have certainly been harder in many ways in days past. Yet, in those decades, racism was overt, state sanctioned and so clearly institutionalized that there was simply no doubt that what we were seeing AND getting was a system of orchestrated oppression. That kind of focused fight was a struggle that we now reflect on in awe, but it was a fight with an obvious opponent. Beyond the silver lining of “knowing the enemy”, there was something else that rooted and fueled the movement. It was the will to achieve an ideal that could only be imagined. Black Americans were fighting for a dream. Working toward a position of equity and opportunity that seemed both possible and elusive, like a tune with a melody you love but can never remember the words for. It was a fight for something that they’d never actually experienced but hoped to be closer to with every march and every peaceful sit-in.

They were inspired warriors, and we’re the shell shocked products of their great sacrifices. We’re facing a modern version of a battle we thought they’d won. We can hear the echo of past pain, and it’s getting louder. We feel the panic that strikes when we see flashing blue lights behind our cars. We recognize the “good enough for them” disparities in our school systems. We can see the dismissive looks on the faces of the powers that be when we’re told we can’t play the “race card”. We’re gaslighted, even when the evidence is painfully empirical and the history is shamefully irrefutable.

Today, our fight is on all fronts because racism has gotten crafty. Oppression wears the cloak of a rational idea. Families must be torn apart; children must be traumatized because the most powerful nation in the world is under attack from desperate Latin American migrants seeking a better life. People must show an ID before they can vote because the possibility of voter fraud is more important than the likelihood of racially disproportionate voter suppression. Brown people living on the island that this nation coopted for political gain long ago must now fend for themselves, in the aftermath of disaster, because they shouldn’t be expecting hand-outs.

We are shadow boxing a beast that shape shifts. It can be offended by our claims, and it can be indignantly patriotic. It can neutralize obvious acts of violence by suggesting it was defending itself. It can hide behind false faith and it can adamantly defend a double standard. It’s not our grandparents foe. It’s a fresh version of an old and poisonous force that knows how to hide in plain sight. What’s changed? It’s predecessors never required pretense for its potency to take effect. When racism is overt, it draws power from its disciples and it galvanizes its opposition. Yet, the ambiguity of the current state of affairs inspires little more than half measures and platitudes. Nevertheless, the underlying effects are always the same. It erodes humanity and it reinforces the invisible but tangible barriers that keep us in our place.

We are the products of a dream partially realized though, and this means we don’t have to imagine a world that values us. Instead, we must demand what we’ve earned and we must unabashedly defend what we are. We do not have to envision a country that makes room for our talents and perspective, we must preserve the progress we’ve made and we must keep pushing forward. There will be no segregated bathrooms, there will be no “back of the bus”, there will be no rotten fruit thrown at our babies when they walk to school. There will be no ropes in trees. Not on our watch.

But it’s exhausting, isn’t it? To be on eerily familiar ground at a time when the world seems set on regression? For this reason, our white friends have to stop telling us to “shake it off”. Your support must come with a steely backbone and a will that matches our own, not a suggestion that we let it all roll off our backs. Your advocacy must extend beyond a Facebook post, it must be relied upon when none of us are present to observe it in action.

As I said, I acknowledge that you’re doing your level best. Now, it’s time to level up.