WTF - WhoTF R U

Hey you (yes you) - got any questions? ?

Well, that’s a dumb question, of course you do. Heaps.

So many things you want (or need) to know about. Things like…oh, I dunno … what’s the meaning of life, the universe, and everything? (That’s an easy one: the answer is 43!) But of course, you already knew that.

How about: “who’s winning the human race”? (PS. Why do the goal posts keep moving; who’s keeping score, and where’s the finish line?)

Or: “what’s Schr?dinger got against cats anyway”?

And most especially: “why are there no good jokes in the Good Book or any of the Sacred Texts for that matter. (Or is the joke on us and we’re the punchline – LOL )?

Talking about jokes, here’s an OMG interdenominational one for y’all: A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar together. The bartender says, “this is a joke, right”?

Enough frivolity already - let’s get back to the subject in hand, namely YOU.

Now then, the number one question that you’ve been getting your proverbial knickers in a knot since day one is … ”Who TF am i?”. Well, good luck in solving or coming up with a definitive answer to that one.

So, in search of an identity (or at least a name tag we can pin on ourselves), we turn to the authorities: the priests, shrinks, flossyfers, counsellors, parental figures, and their ilk. Mind you, to avoid brain strain you can always Google yourself or ask ChatGPT.?The thing is, Google et al have been tracking most every aspect of your digital life, day in & night out, so they’ve probably got your number (in financial terms).

Let’s check out what profundities the great minds have to offer.

Descartes thought that you are you because you think you are. “Cogito ergo sum”, he declared “I think, therefore I am”.

Methinks he was—like many philo-sophists—a souse (slang for a grog artist or dipsomaniac). Further to that, in a spirited discourse on self-realisation, Prof. Bruce (U. of Woolloomooloo) declared “bibo ergo sum” (I drink, therefore I am).

Medrinks to that!

Ultimately though, you can neither drink nor think your way to enlightenment; to self-realisation. Bear in mind that dissecting yourself with the scalpel of the intellect to discover who you are is as ludicrous as a knife attempting to cut its own edge. Overindulging in analytic introspection is an onanistic orgy in which you’ll become imprisoned in the mirror-maze of mind, drowning in the pool of your own reflection.

Sure, it’s commendable to seek insight and input from others (even if occasionally misguided).?Ok then, let’s ask a supreme being (or two) about who you are:

Brahman, the Hindu god of creation, declares: t??? ????? ??? - “thou art that”. (Can’t argue with that).

The Biblical God almighty, aka the ineffable ??????? (literally, “the name”), proclaims: ????????? ???????? ?????? ??????? ???????? ????????? - "You are gods, sons of the Most High, all of you”. Marvellous, but can you cope with the responsibility?

Meanwhile, down on planet Earth, what revelations about WhoTF RU do the enlightened ones have to offer?

According to the Gautama Buddha, you are an ephemeral bag of misery; a victim of your desires and deeds. Ouch! His message for you is “that’s karma, kid - get over it”.

The inscrutable Lao Tzu tells us to stop asking dumb questions. (My words). His words are way more poetic (and enigmatic): 道可道，非恆道 - “the name that can be named is not the eternal name”.

Confused? Naturally! But don’t despair, because, you know what? When it comes to needing meaningful answers about yours truly, ask your BFF (that’s you), coz like it or not, you’re the go to expert.

Sure, sometimes you’ll get it wrong and screw up (big time), but that’s par for the course; that’s how you learn. But at least you’re making your own mistakes, and not just reliving someone else’s fuck ups. So, welcome to the most meaningful school of all - the school of Hard Knocks (and may you graduate summa cum laude)!

Having said all that, bear with me as i introduce you to yourself from yet a different perspective - a grammatical one, that is. So, hang onto your hat.

You are not a noun (proper or otherwise); you are a verb (in/transitive, participle, gerund, whatever…). Whoyou are is in flux - a dynamic state of organised chaos constantly (r)evolving and undergoing phase changes. Shape shifting. In other words, you’re not A being; you ARE being.

But wait, there’s more. Not only are you not a fixed entity, there’s a veritable gaggle of you partying in your body bag. Stop for a moment and consider your extended family; no doubt it’s quite a hodgepodge of individuals--warts ‘n all-- each with their own peculiarities and problems. Now imagine them all getting together for a pow wow on how to run (ruin?) your life. Kinda like the government!

?Anyway, that’s an appropriate metaphor for your psyche. While y'all might think of yourself as a singular entity, the reality is that under the bonnet you’re a bevy, a potent brew of psychologic elements, viz., your ego, super-ego, id, anima & animus, and a pantheon of archetypes. Generally, it’s a co-operative governed by the almighty ego, however there is the occasional power struggle to captain the ship or even a maniacal urge to capsize it (watch out for icebergs).

In the end though--not to mention the beginning and every waking moment in between--you’re a mystery. A divine one, at that. A mass of contradictions. Accept it; embrace it; lose yourself and get lost in it.

Regards to y'all.

Me!