Writing Tip #14: Have your muscles ever screamed in pain?
Dani Okumura
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Last week, we shared how using the Show Don't Tell technique in writing can be great when announcing the BEST NEWS EVER! It can also be used to describe a whole range of emotions and feelings.
For example, yesterday I took part in the annual 2K family run event in our area. What I hadn't prepared for was that my two kids had clearly got a lot fitter over the past year than I had, and were much, much faster. Despite it only being 2K, being forced to run at a much higher speed than I would have liked to, was pretty challenging!! So let's try to describe the feelings I had, using Show Don't Tell. I always encourage my students to think about all the different ways in which their body responds to a certain emotion, and then create sentences based on that. So here goes...
Body temperature: Sweat trickled down my forehead as my legs pounded forwards.
Heart: I felt my heart beating fiercely, like a drum pounding in my chest.
Movement: My muscles screamed in protest with every step.
This could be extended further, by describing other aspects including your eyes, your breath, your skin, your noises, your feet etc.
You can learn more about the Show Don't Tell technique
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Have a wonderful week!
Best wishes,
Dani