Writing About Love for the LA Times

New authors can make the assumption that they have to write about just what they do for a living, or what is acutely obvious about who they are in order to make an impact with a book. I can tell you nothing is farther from the truth.

Let me use myself as an example. As a book coach, I could easily write a book or essays about how to write a book. In fact, I have written many featured articles and often appear on podcasts in interviews about being a book coach. I love book coaching and I have worked with writers for decades so it isn't hard for me to write about writing, books or the mindset of the author. But it doesn't light me on fire. I like to share my knowledge but it isn't my true writing heart beat.

Where I stretch myself dynamically as an author is when I write about what I am not a expert about, and in fact am discovering in the experiences as I have them. I am making magic in the mess, and in my transparency, others can relate and say, that is me, and may be inspired to follow my lead and write from their heart or be simply inspired to make change in these areas.

One of the big areas I've seen challenges in my life is romance. I got married very young the first time, and then ten years in, I left. I felt I had outgrown the relationship. He went on to a happier marriage and I got remarried as well. Then I found after ten years in that relationship, I had outgrown the relationship (which is another way of saying I had a lot of work to do on myself!). Then came a string of seven or so short relationships, each one I moved through understanding more about myself and my perspective on love. Recently I was tasked to submit an essay for Modern Love in The NY Times. I felt this was out of my wheelhouse of what I normally write about - writing and books - but I also felt I knew this topic of love very well. So I tackled it and it was appreciated but not taken. So I tried again with the same essay, and this time in the LA Times for LAAffairs, and bingo. I was accepted. They called the essay "wonderful" and gave me the publication month of February which couldn't be any more awesome as it's the love month.

The essay will be printed this Sunday February 5 and I even got paid for it. Did I ever think my first writing I would be paid for as an author/writer (outside the movies where I did get paid for screenplays) would be about love? Hell no, but I knew about it well. And that translated to the Deputy Editor. He felt my deep understanding of my journey in this particular nuance of love. I am not going to say any more... I want you to read it, but let go of the assumptions you have for yourself as a writer. Don't pigeon hole yourself. If you love to write about your experiences, do it. You have no idea what it will open up.