ON WRITING & LIFE, WITH ANNE LAMOTT

This past Wednesday, I had the opportunity to attend a talk by Anne Lamott, the author of one of my favorite books on writing, Bird by Bird.?Sitting there in the dim light of the big auditorium, I meditatively immersed into Anne's stories, told in her very own style - warm, calm, loving and at the same time funny enough to make the big crowd burst laughing continuously. She turned 70 on the day and has written 20 books.

Yet, the best, in my eyes, is her own life story. Honestly, apart from reading Bird by Bird about 10 years ago and once in a while following her posts, I hadn't known much about her till then.

According to Anne, she grew up in a family where there was a lot of tension between her parents; her dad drank. And that was how she came to know and was?modelled?about love as a child, who happened to be very sensitive. The adulthood part of her life found her a single mom, working in a profession where rejection was a norm. Imagine being sensitive, lacking love, rejected many times and having to resort to alcohol?

Yet, there she was, a woman turning 70, having a husband who she said a great match, finally, enjoying being a grandmother to a grandchild and seeing her own son inspired by her writing path to create a writing room for aspiring writers. Fully present. Radiating inner peace. Embracing love and especially self-love more than ever before.

Internally, I bowed to her, as I related to my own story as a child: being very sensitive, abandoned by my dad as a small child, ridiculed and rejected by many... Magically, I powered through a tough childhood and deep in my heart, I longed for happiness the center of which was love, pure love. This didn't mean I was mighty and strong. Indeed, I was easily triggered and cried a lot. Writing helped me. Whenever I was emotional, felt hurt, unloved, I poured my feelings and thoughts into my journal. It helped me make sense of the world and tell a more optimistic story. Often, at the end of each entry, I found myself lighter, calmer, and I saw the light that guided my action towards what I yearned for.?

Near the end of her talk, Anne said that nowadays, we were lucky as mental health help was so accessible. This kept me wonder how her life would have been if her parents had had couple therapist / counsellor at that time, if she herself had had a therapist / a coach when juggling life and work as a young mom. Would she have been healthier? Would she have experienced much less emotional pain? Would she have enjoyed motherhood, life, work at a different level??

Clearly, I can't have the answers. Yet I believe everyone deserves to be happy, to be loved, and to get the help they need so they could live their best lives. And when they can remove unhelpful patterns, stories, and are authentically happy, they will?enjoy success at ease and with so much inner peace.

On my end, till this day, I still honor that habit. Apart from my own executive coach who I hire to get clarity when needed, writing is like a trusted friend who helps me hardwire happiness and transform any down moment into helpful ones.?

So, if you are struggling,?write and get help, will you? Your happier life is just one page, one phone call, one decision away. More on healing, writing, life purpose, the unique story of your life, natural talents... in my next letters. ?

Onwards to Happiness Infinity,

Amy Nguyen

Photo: Solar eclipse's beautiful writing on the wall of my house.