Writing Craft: Description Dilemma

Claudia Boon asked: "How would you describe a castle like this? I can't come up with any words to describe such features."

She provided a graphic of a foreboding castle of alien lines and angles, not easily described on the best of days. Yet when you write fantasy, you have to do this on a regular basis, especially if your fantasy diverges from what we think of as reality.

WHEN THE IMPOSSIBLE IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY:

When you are a fantasy writer, you are often tasked with describing impossible things, objects or phenomena which do not reflect anything in your real world. This can cause you to think it is not going to be possible to describe them to your readers. When in doubt, use this checklist to help you get some control over your description dilemma.

If you had to describe it in modern terms, what would you call it?

In your example, you present us with the wall of what appears to be part of a castle. If this is indeed the case, we can use the basic framework of the language of castles to describe what we are seeing. Using the Internet, this wall is called a "curtain wall." A wall on the outer edge of the castle designed to be the first barrier to an opposing force.

Expand your parameters

Once you can name a piece of your castle, spread out. To expand our castle description, there appear to be two towers and a portcullis (a large heavy gate) which are likely part of the guardhouse (where the armed forces gather to protect the entrance to the castle).

A portcullis is a large wooden gate that was lowered through slots in the gatehouse to defend the entrance to the castle. Made usually from many pieces of horizontal and vertical oak beams with sharp spikes at the bottom, the portcullis was strong and very heavy. Counterweights were sometimes used to make it easier to raise a heavy portcullis.

There are two towers whose purpose is unknown but given their height above the castle wall, they are possibly observation towers or if magic exists, a place from which spells could be cast.

Describe the area around the castle.

We can also see the moat, the final ground barrier to an opposing force, often but not always filled with water. When they are filled with water, that water came from rivers or streams diverted to fill them. Water ensured if tunnels were dug under the castle, those tunnels would fill with water, drowning invaders.

Define specific areas, their purpose and possible manufacture.

Now that we have the basic language of the castle, we can add some color by describing the materials used to build it, the kinds of rock, wood, and metals to fortify it and lastly the cultural, social and environmental influences in its appearance. If this is indeed a castle made by the Dark Elves, also known as the Druchii, you can include whatever you have designated the mindset of the Dark Elves in your story.

Don't forget the point of view of the person describing the scene.

You should also include the knowledge of the person viewing the structure. If they don't know anything about castles and fortifications, they may not know the exact language used to describe what they are seeing. A knight familiar with sieging fortifications will see a castle completely differently from a farmer who has never traveled to his nation's capital. The perspective of the viewer will strongly determine how the castle is seen, the greater their knowledge the greater (and sometimes) more biased their viewpoint may be.

Use your senses, define not only the castle but the surrounding region, give the place a sense of physicality based on the perception of your characters. This makes the description not only about the castle but the surroundings. Castles are often built in specifically chosen regions which can be defended and are difficult to attack. All of these can be considered when describing a particular scene.

REF: Medieval Castles - https://library.randolphschool.net/castle

Now, I will take my turn describing this castle with what we have assumed thus far.

THE BLACK FORTRESS

The trip through the gate left me sick. My armor and weapons became another burden to deal with on top of my horse who had upon arrival, refused to follow even the simplest instructions. It was the look and the smell of the place.

Sitting a mile from the gate, the castle was impossibly immense. I had never seen its like in all my years of waging war in Milkemia. As we approached, its beauty and horror only became more apparent. It's inhuman proportions showcased a curtain wall which bled directly into a moat.

A moat which had no water. Only a strange mist moved in the moat as if it swam with its own intent. Smoke wafted it and as the thick vapor dissipated I thought I could hear screams from within the moats cavernous and unseen depths.

Two towers stood above the portcullis and gatehouse. A flame burned there without smoke, and almost without light. Yet I could see it, even with my eyes closed. It took up residence in my mind, a light I could not see even if I hoped to avoid it. As I stared I felt doubt rising in me, an unexpected fear, enhanced by the architecture, strange great blades filling every corner of this alien fortification, telling me to run screaming from this place. I bit down on a piece of leather and pushed onward.

When I reached the drawbridge, my horse would go no further. The stone, if it was stone, absorbed light, drinking in everything around me. I tapped it with a dagger and it made no responding sound. Then it struck me. This place had no sounds beyond the moans calling out from the moat. This was a place dedicated to death and suffering. I had barely manage to get my pack from my horse before he galloped away in the distance.

The portcullis rose slowly, deliberately. No one spoke or bid me enter. I had come too far to turn back now.

Thaddeus Howze

Writing Craft: Mastering the Urge to Write