A writer’s self-worth: 1 strategy to silence doubt

Installment #2 in the ‘Tips for making time to write’ series

Thank you?for submitting to our contest. We’re humbled by the amount of talented writers who shared their work with us and enjoyed having the chance to read your words.

However, we will not be moving forward with your piece.

We know this isn’t the news you hoped to hear.

Please consider us in the future!

Every writer is familiar with this message and the (not unkind) sentiment. It might make you want to cry or scream. Or actually cry or scream. Or decide you’re not any good and finally give up this terrible, Sisyphean pursuit.

This isn’t an article about rejection. Well, it kind of is. But it’s mostly about how you respond to rejection, because that—unlike an editor’s preferences—is completely within your control.?

Stop questioning your worthiness

Writers are special. We’ve got an uncanny ability to doubt ourselves at every turn.

It may stem from an actual rejection. But it doesn’t have to. You can pull it out of the ether, a sort of divine deflation. It shows up and starts living rent-free in your head.?

What it is is a time suck. It distracts you from doing what you likely are good at doing and leads you down a path to nowhere.

Let’s put this in more concrete terms. You have 30 minutes to complete an errand and if you don’t complete it in those 30 minutes you’ll combust, or something. Say the stakes are high.

Would you take a route that doesn’t get you anywhere near your destination? Puts your bodily integrity at risk? Makes you feel really sh*t about your navigating abilities??

Sounds ridiculous, I know. But it’s not that different from passing the time wondering if you’re good enough to write.

I’m not saying that it’s not okay, even beneficial, to indulge in moments of self-reflection. Our writing can usually be better. That’s part of the process. There’s a fine line, though, between applying a critical eye to your work in order to build yourself up and being so critical that you shut down entirely.?

I like to give myself a finite amount of time to grieve my rejections, real (Journal X doesn’t want me) or invented (I can’t think of a convincing metaphor right now, so clearly I’m a fraud). This might sound weird, but it’s a tactic that works for me. Here’s how I do it:

1. Acknowledge that I feel badly. That I’m hurt, mad, disappointed.?
2. Set a 5-minute timer on my phone.
3. Do what I need to do, whether that’s get teary or listen to an especially angry and/or emo song. The one thing I never do—it’s hard, but important—is tell myself I’m a failure. Maybe an editor didn’t vibe with the theme of my piece for whatever reason. Maybe they’d already accepted too many submissions that cycle. Most of the time you’ll never know, and it’s not productive to obsess over hypotheticals.
4. Bring myself back once the timer goes off. End on a positive note: I give myself credit for something good I’ve done that day, even if it had nothing to do with writing. This helps get me into the right headspace.?
5. Write. No, really. Maybe a line of text. Maybe an email. Maybe an idea for a short story that I pursue later, or never. I don’t put pressure on myself to create anything ‘substantive,’ but the mere act of writing re-centers me and reminds me I’ll be okay.?

If you’re the type of person who likes affirmations, it can be helpful to craft one to invoke in these situations. I won’t tell you what my affirmation is, but I’ll give you an example:

“I write the very best I can, and my very best is amazing.”

Make sure your affirmation focuses on the positive and uses active language. However, some people like to visualize that they’ve already achieved a goal. As in, “My novel just won a Pulitzer.” There’s no right or wrong way to do it, so go with an affirmation that sits well with you. It’s fine if it feels a bit…overconfident. Far-fetched. No one else needs to know!

And like they say, aim high.?

Question: As a writer, how do you handle rejection? How do you keep it from sabotaging your time and self-worth?

#WritingTips #WritingAdvice #CreativeWriting #Storytelling #SelfWorth #ImposterSyndrome #OvercomeRejection