Write As If It Doesn't Matter

                                                                       By

                                                               Dan Deloge

Writer’s block is inevitable. Eventually you arrive at a point where it seems that all your writing has been put on paper, distributed to the masses, and then…wham! Brick wall.

           I forget my own advice sometimes, one of which is “write as if it doesn’t matter”, because, in the end, it doesn’t. Your words will not make the Pulitzer, your essays will not spark revolutions, your prose will not inspire, and your heartfelt sentences will go unnoticed by almost everyone. I’m not a pessimist, nor am I trying to squash your dreams, because we all share similar dreams: to write that one epic novel, that work to end all works and the standard by which all others in a genre will be judged. And perhaps just the opposite is true, as many authors have proven and then continued with movies and television series.

So in essence, in the grand scheme of things, your work will not amount to much more that your own personal satisfaction and a close following of a few people. That being said, to the people who do read your work you will find that most assuredly something you said, thought, or put forward sparked some interest and made your reader think. It’s probably one reason social media took off like a wildfire so many years ago. But I think we all strive for greater and limiting ourselves is self-defeat. Okay, forget everything I just said because intuition will put this to the test and prove me wrong, and that’s exactly what I want for you: success!

           Far too long people put so much pressure on themselves to impress, and in that respect they’ve gone about writing all wrong. If you write to impress someone or something, you only impress them a little or not at all. Baffle them with that notorious b-word all you want, but I expect substance from you. In the event you do impress them, they’ll want more and ask you to test your boundaries and exceed them. Now you’re back at square one and wanting more than you did in the beginning. The pressure is on, and I have no doubt that’ll fuel the fire within.

           You put pen to paper, or tap endlessly at keystrokes that seem infinite and find that your writing begins to go astray, tangents galore, and before long you have no idea the direction you were heading to begin with and ultimately lose heart. Where did that get you?

           But if you write as if it doesn’t matter, there is no pressure to impress or to get that next check or other monetary stipend. There is no longer a reason to delve deeper or try to get to a level that perhaps was unattainable from the first letter, but you didn’t realize that until thousands of words later and poorly structured paragraphs with questionable grammatical input. Don’t dwell, only write.

           In the movie Finding Forrester, while I didn’t appreciate the breadth of the meanings in the beginning, I appreciated them after a few years of being published. It occurred to me that I was writing as if I was working for the New York Times and yet had no formal training in journalism. It occurred to me that I began writing with words I knew not the meaning and ideas that were birthed because I had a specific audience that had no idea who I was or what business I had addressing them. I was a vagabond on the red carpet and security had no inclination as what to do with me.

           When I first began writing in the early 2000’s, (since birth would be an exaggeration but not far off), rejections were sent in the form of letters. Personally, I can only think of one rejection from a press in Maine that truly was the nicest and informative I have ever received. But times have changed. These days it’s silence. While some may tell you this can mean a good silence of being considering or a bad silence meaning they didn’t even open the envelope, continue to write and do not stop! And for the record, yes, query letters are a scary thing, but not something you should give up too quickly without a fight. Let the passion drive you to strive for bigger and better.

           It’s best to sit back with some cold sun tea and revisit this thing called writing. Address no one. No audience, no editor, no publisher. Take it a step further and don’t even address yourself. Let your fingers begin moving, your thoughts stretch their legs, and whereas in meditation you called yourself away from stray thoughts and back to the present, I invite you to do the opposite; invite those thoughts to come through, let them grow, and allow whatever comes out to come out. Once the thoughts are down on paper, on a screen and saved or what have you, then you can do with them what you will. Whereas technology and I don’t play well in the sandbox, use programs and apps like Dragon Dictation and let your mind wander on the way to work or running errands. Sit outside and ramble into the microphone.

           Forrest says the first draft comes from the heart, the editing comes from the mind. It’s all too true and very simple to understand. You write something that makes you astounded it came from you and then after reading begin to critique it, begin to disassemble it, then rework it to death. You destroy and kill something before it’s even had time to take a breath. You went from instinctual writing to literary wordicide. That’s a word, because I created it just now and you understood it. And if Webster’s dictionary can add slang like “Hangry”, I can use words like “wordicide”.

           If you allow yourself room outside of the norm and away from distractions, the product of your heart will come through and there is nothing left to do but admire, and there is nothing wrong with admiring one’s own work. It is not narcissistic, it is not self-love, it is learning. Rather than compare your work to that of another, first establish yourself and go from there. You may find the Monet you’re trying to paint has become the New York art galley’s prize abstract masterpiece and sought by many.

           There are books upon books about writing, syntax, and rules and boorish things that close you into a room that is just big enough to exhale and little more to inhale. Forget them, at least for this moment. Forget what you learned in school, anything you were graded on, and most importantly that which was covered in red pen and degraded with a letter at the top indicating the opinion of the tenure powers-that-be. Dash them aside and begin fresh, right here, right now. Give yourself permission to do all the things they said not to do and put it before you. Read the absurdity of it all and then appreciate the difference. There is no perfection in writing; there is only the opinions of others and what they believe to be perfect. It is subjective, not objective.

           Take for example the shelves of books published every year. Now think to the times you’ve found errors. Now imagine the royalties said authors receive because not only them, but people hired to proofread their work failed to find. Now you and they are in the same ballpark because there is no perfection. At times, errors can actually add to the story or present a thought otherwise foreign and a new level has been reached unintentionally. Great! Now that your fingers are warmed up and your pen is out of ink, we can begin the real work. Let’s create, beginning with the atmosphere!

           I want you to incorporate music into your background. First choose something familiar, a format you enjoy and a genre you’ve used over and over to the point of forgetting there are plenty of others out there. This is part of your atmosphere for creating new work. Mind you, this is just the tip of the iceberg and not even begun. The music has something that resonates with you and the creative juices start flowing. The familiarity allows for something to come forth and present itself to you. You’ve driven this road so often that the car drives itself. Lovely. Before the next step, allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind, or whatever escapes it, too. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

           The words come from a place in an abyssal plane solely yours. It’s just as it should be. Shortly you will realize it’s the same as it has been; a broken record you listen to over and over and played like a marionette. Change stations, channels, whatever it is you’re using. I don’t mean choose something similar, I mean something completely different, a genre you would never listen to. Allow that to expand in the room, fill it, or pulse through your earbuds. Now let your fingers do their thing.

What’s changed? Are the words and ideas still yours or influenced? Are you happy with the outcome, disgusted, or intrigued? Before you hit delete, continue for a bit longer. There is no wrong or right here, there is only progress. It is still a flow. The ocean has its ebbs and flows, a river has its calm and rapids. Such is life and you haven’t tapped into it until now. I’m asking you to give yourself permission to step out of the rut and explore because no matter where it leads you can always come back and, again, it isn’t wrong.

           Most writers, painters, sculptors, artisans of all influences, have a place they consider sacred to their craft. Personally, I have a desk and corner of the bedroom for late-night writing for deadlines. I’ve published a book written primarily in an empty theater, haunted at that, listening to a specific style of music in a discman with countless batteries drained beyond their purpose.

           I’ve written at parks, beaches, college quads and commons. I’ve written in my head, on pieces of paper and even a piece of wood when I had no paper. The point is this: there is no perfect place to write because writing is life and if you’re going to portray any aspect of life to your reader, even if that audience is only you, then you need to embrace life and be enveloped in it. A journalist will go to an event and create their article from there, polishing it to death back at the office, wherever and whatever that might be. An author may have a splendid desk that would be the envy of a Fortune 500 business. But I’m reminded of a man who smashed a Stratovarius violin to prove a point, that point being it isn’t the instrument, but the musician who makes the music; the instrument was merely the tool.

            In creating what you have, don’t read it just yet. There is no proofreading at this point, there is no perfecting or editing, there is only doing. Take your work and move out of that comfort zone and away from the familiar. Drive if you need to, walk, bicycle, it really doesn’t matter. Go somewhere that would also be conducive to writing and begin again. Follow the steps, adlib where you may, impromptu at times just because you can. This is a communication between your heart and soul, nothing more just yet. The Universe can have its turn when you deem necessary and appropriate.

           Once your hands are cramping and your brain is about to explode, move somewhere that is less conducive to writing. There are no fancy coffeehouses or lattes here. You’re going in the least likely place to write. It could be a busy intersection in the city. It could be a daycare with endless noise, chatter, screaming and crying. Each shrill, piercing sound emitted by a small individual stabs at the nerves in a way you’re unaccustomed and should appreciate, because in that moment an emotion was created whether you realized it or not and therefore the writing will change, also. For every time this occurs, your person has cracked the wall of their conscious and unconscious mind and awakened the spirit within. Stay so long as it does not create a negative, lasting imbalance, and repeat.

           If you have a favorite drink, alcoholic at that, I invite you to incorporate this now, so long as it is responsible and appropriate to the time of day. For centuries, artists have used mind-altering substances to create. While many succeeded, many failed, and while many found their own nirvana, many also found their own hell. While I do not condone imbibing, I do agree it has its place in creativity. There is no science to this; its human nature.

           Be aware of the progression in your craft, regression, degradation, et cetera. Allow it to be, give it room for it to grow. Just as the sun allows the moon to have its time in the sky and the moon bows to the sun for life, do so in this moment, or moments. However, I will caution you that alcohol is a demon and one that is always waiting and willing to share the space, but more than willing to take more than its fair share, including your existence.

           Last but certainly not least for this essay, when at the end of the day you feel as though sleep is all you want, your eyelids heavy, your mind wandering and your lips almost incoherent, begin again. Write and don’t stop. A second wind is possible, and perhaps not advisable before a workday and a possible impending migraine, but this, too, is much like a drug. Hormones during awake hours are wearing down and no longer produced. The influence of the night upon you, create what you can before the mistakes become more of a chore and distraction. Once this happens, close the notebook, journal, cover the papers, turn off the screen, and rest. The exercise, at least for this moment, is complete. I say for this moment, because in times of writer’s block, revisit these and whatever writing prompts illicit ideas that birth artisanship.

           Whereas recent generations rely heavily on screens and phones and things that blink or beep, I ask that you step out into life. This could be a place in nature, an art gallery, your favorite store. Better yet, visit some antique shops and colleges. My personal favorite is that of used bookstores because I feel as though I’m surrounded by history and the smell of old paper and dusty must is intoxicating.

While writing in college, I found I was surrounded by intellectuals and individuals who wanted to be in school and not forced. I was sitting in buildings with rich histories and decades, if not centuries, of people who came and went to forge greater things in this world that go unnoticed. A vacation from electronics is also good for the nervous system which is constantly strained and being bombarded by stimulus from all directions. Good where there is knowledge and inspiration.

And if you have a favorite pen, one that clearly knows you and could write by itself if need be, try a much different form. For example, some works I’ve written to others were created using a quill and dragon’s blood ink on parchment. Other times I’ll switch from a pen with a wide grip to one that is smaller. Expand and grow, think outside the box. Heck, grab a piece of wood or a canvas and write with a piece of coal from a campfire, anything that can possibly cause you to embrace your craft in simpler, more primitive forms.

           This is a progress that is never truly over. Once you stop dreaming of writing, once you see it as a chore rather than pleasure, either take a break or leave it altogether and find something else. If, on the other hand, you still think of nothing more than writing, then by all means continue. The world should not be deprived of such literary works. Generations ago, much was lost to book burnings. The atrocity of that alone should inspire to fill that gap.

           Remember, always, that writer’s block is temporary and a figment of our imagination. It is only a sign that perhaps our mind or body need a break to restore them to working fashion. There are no loss of possibilities and directions one can take. Explore and allow, and don’t forget to live.