Wrestling Grit and Hiking Humility (PCT Part 3)
“We do not learn from experience...we learn from reflecting on experience” ― John Dewey.
The practice of regular self-reflection has been life-changing for me. And I don't say that lightly. It has allowed me to become intimately familiar with part of myself that might otherwise go unnoticed - the inclinations of my inner dialogue, the subtle shifts in my perspectives, the cyclical nature of life. And in turn, it has enabled me to be more intentional in my decisions, to continuously challenge myself, to grow.
In sharing reflections from my journey hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), I hope to show the amazing things you can learn upon self-reflection and how this new knowledge can enrich your life. I hope to show you that self-reflection is one of the best investments of time we can make.
This is the third of six PCT posts I am republishing. Originally written in March of 2019, it focuses on important lessons I learned about grit and humility after taking a day of self-reflection on the PCT.
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From hiking through hail on a desert mountain to eating cold spam from a plastic baggy, my first five days and 100 miles have been challenging but exhilarating! I've enjoyed the company of new and wonderful trail friends and also spent long stretches of trail reflecting on "grit" and "humility".
My Thoughts on Grit:
My dad was a state champion in wrestling and taught me that it’s a sport about “grit.” However, it wasn’t until my first day of wrestling practice that I realized, as a 12-year-old girl in a predominantly male sport, the true significance of grit. I joined my Junior High wrestling team because I loved the sport. But when my peers learned of my decision to join the team, they spread rumors telling a different narrative. My classmates and teammates said that I was wrestling for attention and because it was the only way I could meet guys.
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By actively choosing to defy social norms, I knew I would be subjecting myself to judgment. Despite that, I was eager to participate and trained hard. When I didn’t receive the same level of coaching as my peers, I started asking my coach directly for feedback after matches. When I realized I wasn’t as physically strong as the boys in my weight class, I began doing extra strength training after practice. My singular focus was to be the best wrestler I could be. There was no room to doubt myself because too many other people already were.
When I started winning most of my matches, my coach and teammates started to take me seriously.? When I received an MVP award at the end of the season, my classmates began to take me more seriously too. The success I achieved showed the difference that grit can make. However, the PCT has reminded me I have more lessons to learn about grit, and how pure, relentless grit can cause failure.
Despite superwomen, thru-hikers like Anish, the myth of "female fragility" lingers on the trail, where a select few applaud men for big mile days and lecture women about overuse injuries. I enjoyed trying to play a role in dispelling the remnants of this myth, by powering through bad weather conditions and hiking big miles. Hiking 20+ mile days has made me feel powerful, but it came at a cost. When I started to feel a dull pain in my Achilles tendon, a more experienced hiker gave well-substantiated reasons as to why I should drop my mileage. Despite the care he took to share his perspective, I ignored his suggestion. Instead, I applied grit and stood by my plan to hike 20 mile days. The pain was easy to bear. It took waking up to a red, bruised, and swollen Achilles for me to realize my grit had led to obstinance. I had failed to have the humility to listen.
My Thoughts On Humility:
If I had had more humility, I might have avoided injuring my Achilles tendon, an injury that will keep me off the trail for the next few days. While grit is important, I now understand that the success of my thru-hike is not contingent on just strength. My success will greatly depend on my ability to be humble, in order to learn and grow. As I continue to hike, I plan to focus on learning three things:
I am grateful to have the opportunity to recover in the welcoming town of Warner Springs, where hikers are kindly offering me recovery advice. This time - I am listening!