The Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda Dilemma - Part 4 of 4

Last Installment of 3 Secrets for Managing Your Emotions in the Workplace - Secret #3: There Is No Such Thing as A Truly Rational Decision

Author's Note: Thanks for reading Mindset Metaphor Monday, a weekly series where I share insights, new concepts, ideas, and humor for leaders, managers, and professionals who are looking for better ways to be effective in business and in life.

My vision is to improve the human condition and inspire others to be better. Our future depends on it. 

To briefly recap the previous installment, I focused on the reasons why ‘staying positive is not the best strategy and why it can do more harm than good, not just to others but also yourself. I introduced the term and concept behind ‘toxic positivity’ and validation from clinical psychologists on the damage it causes.

If you already read Parts 1-3 (posts 5/25, 6/1 & 6/8), congratulations! If not, then I strongly advise you to start here first. 

Now you are ready for Secret #3 where you’ll complete the key principles to act on if you want to minimize future woulda, coulda, shoulda moments.

Secret #3: There Is No Such Thing as A Truly Rational Decision

On average, it is estimated that we make about 35,000 decisions each day. Crazy? Researchers at Cornell University (Wansink and Sobal, 2007) found that we make 226.7 decisions each day on just food alone.

Different styles and inclinations influence how you make decisions. At times your decisions could be driven by impulsiveness, compliance, delegating, avoidance/deflection, balancing, prioritizing or reflecting. Typically, a combination of these strategies may be used depending on the situation and the volume of decisions you have to deal with. 

Habits you may want to overcome

Emotions, however, are a constant and significant part of your decision-making process. You can deny that you make emotional decisions until you are blue in the face but your brain simply ignores how strategic, rational, objective, or analytical you so proudly think that you are.

This concept can ruffle the feathers of the stern executives and some members of the analytical or scientific communities. Each time it comes up, I get push back as they deny this being the case for them. 

Science speaks out…

As a way of settling the argument if the best decisions are rational or emotional, the scientific jury is in - emotions win.

Supporting this position is a current peer-reviewed research paper that affirms that skills are experience-based and tied to emotional reactions. The paper, “Brain Activation Imaging in Emotional Decision Making and Mental Health” by Thomas F. Collura, Ph.D. and Ronald J Bonnstetter, Ph.D. was submitted to the journal Clinical EEG and Neuroscience.

The report demonstrates an operational model for emotional decision-making that incorporates brain activation data along with subjective experience correlates. It is validated via a model that takes the form of a state machine that carries out transitions between a finite set of 16 possible states of emotional and decision-making responses.

EEG technology that produces a millisecond-resolution representation of the brain activity corroborates a direct reflection of emotional processing and hence that decisions are based strongly on emotions. These findings may be seen as a threat to traditional mindsets. 

We must first acknowledge that all decisions are emotional.

Turn a threat into an opportunity

The point is that you can use this as your power, instead of thinking of it as your kryptonite. What is this power called? It’s called Emotional Intelligence [EQ].

Raising your EQ is important here because making better decisions requires tools that help you assess background information systematically. Here’s why: With emotional intelligence, you will also be more apt to surround yourself with people who will challenge your opinions. You’ll be able to empathetically listen as they tell you things you may not want to hear but that you must hear. This is the essence of personal growth.

If you do, you can turn it into your advantage by tapping into it. Just don’t tap too hard – recall the concept of self-regulation in “Secret #1 – Know Thyself”.  

Over the years, I’ve curated dozens of top-notch decision-making models because there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all. My philosophy:

Not all problems are nails and therefore, not all solutions should be hammers.

The key is to take the first step, get past denying, and start exercising a balanced judgment. Next, you want to also ensure you maintain psychological biases in check.

Only then can we move forward and address the more important issues in our decision-making process - psychological biases, also known as cognitive biases.

We are all susceptible to psychological bias, a concept introduced in the early 1970s by psychologists Daniel Kahneman, Paul Slovic, and Amos Tversky. Also known as cognitive biases, it is worth noting there are several types.

We should be aware of their existence because it can lead to missed opportunities and poor decision making. Here’s a list of the types of biases I highly recommend you learn about and avoid.

Lesson Recap:

·        We are emotional beings and make emotional decisions.

·        Our behaviors and motivators tie directly to skill development.

·        Build your EQ and make emotions your power, not your secret kryptonite.

·        Learn to use it. Learn to wield it. Learn to benefit from it.

·        Making better decisions includes keeping psychological biases in check.

Reach out if you want to learn how. I’m here for you and leave you with a favorite quote:

"I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." - Stephen R. Covey

Stay tuned for the next week’s installment of Mindset Metaphor Monday

Featuring: “Emotional Intelligence is Important – Now Go Measure It”

Sneak Peek: An unprecedented level of collective societal disruptions and intense feelings of wrongness can overextend emotions raise the importance of knowing your EQ scores. There is a reliable way to measure EQ to help you identify your specific areas that need improvement to make better decisions and avoid regrets.

Tune in next Monday. Please share this article.

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