Would You Follow You? An Exercise in Self-Reflection for Leaders

As leaders, we are often so focused on managing others, setting goals, and driving results that we rarely stop to ask ourselves a crucial question: "Would I follow me?" This is a question that can spark deep self-reflection and lead to breakthroughs in how we lead our teams and ourselves. I ask this of myself frequently because I believe the best leaders are the ones who are constantly evolving.

In my years of coaching and working with leaders at various stages of their careers, I’ve realized that self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools in leadership. If you don’t understand your strengths, weaknesses, and how you come across to others, how can you expect others to trust and follow you with confidence? Leadership isn’t just about being in charge; it’s about earning the respect, trust, and loyalty of those you lead. And to do that, you have to know what it’s like to be on the other side of you.

So, how do you begin this exercise of self-reflection? Let's break it down step by step.

1. Get Honest About Your Leadership Style

The first step in this journey is brutal honesty. As a leader, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking your way is the best way, but that’s rarely true. Ask yourself:

• Do I lead with empathy and understanding, or do I tend to command and control?
• How do I react under pressure? Do I stay calm, or do I let stress affect my interactions with others?
• Am I approachable, or do my team members feel intimidated or distant from me?

These are tough questions, but answering them honestly can open your eyes to how you’re truly perceived. For example, there was a time early in my leadership journey when I realized I was managing out of fear of failure. I was so focused on not making mistakes that I became overly critical of my team’s work. It wasn’t until I received feedback from a trusted colleague that I saw how my approach was stifling creativity and innovation within my team. Would I have followed me back then? Probably not.

2. Evaluate Your Communication Skills

Communication is the backbone of any leadership role. How you communicate with your team can make or break their motivation and engagement. Ask yourself:

• Do I communicate clearly and regularly with my team?
• Am I open to feedback, or do I shut down dissenting opinions?
• Do I listen as much as I speak, or am I dominating conversations?

A leader who doesn’t listen is a leader who will eventually be tuned out. I’ve found that some of the most profound leadership lessons come not from speaking, but from truly hearing what my team has to say. Over time, I’ve had to work on becoming an active listener—creating space for open dialogue and letting my team know that their voices matter.

3. Assess Your Level of Accountability

As leaders, we are often the ones holding others accountable, but how often do we hold ourselves accountable? It’s essential to reflect on your actions and ask:

• Do I admit when I’m wrong, or do I make excuses for my mistakes?
• Do I follow through on my promises and commitments?
• Am I consistent in my behavior, or do I allow mood swings or external pressures to dictate my leadership style?

True accountability starts with self. If you can’t own your mistakes, your team will struggle to take responsibility for theirs. I remember one instance when I made a poor decision about a project timeline. Instead of shifting the blame to my team, I owned up to it and apologized. That moment of vulnerability created a new level of trust with my team, because they knew I was willing to be accountable for my actions.

4. Consider Your Impact on Team Morale

Leadership isn’t just about getting results; it’s about how you make people feel in the process. A leader who is constantly negative or stressed will breed the same energy within their team. Ask yourself:

• Do I inspire and motivate my team, or do I create a sense of dread and anxiety?
• Am I celebrating wins, both big and small, or am I only focusing on areas that need improvement?
• Do my team members feel valued, or do they see me as someone who only cares about the bottom line?

The emotional climate you create as a leader has a direct impact on your team’s performance. I’ve seen this time and time again: when leaders prioritize their team’s well-being, productivity skyrockets. A few years ago, I made it a priority to start each week by highlighting a team success during our Monday meetings. It was a simple shift, but it made a huge difference in how motivated my team felt.

5. Examine Your Ability to Adapt and Grow

The best leaders are the ones who are constantly evolving. The world around us is changing rapidly, and if we’re stuck in our ways, we risk becoming obsolete. Ask yourself:

• Am I open to learning new things, or am I resistant to change?
• Do I seek out opportunities for growth, both personally and professionally?
• How well do I adapt to new challenges, technologies, or team dynamics?

Leadership is not static. Just because something worked five years ago doesn’t mean it will work today. I’ve had to adapt in my leadership journey as new trends in leadership emerged. For example, during the shift to remote work, I had to completely rethink how I engaged with my team. I embraced new tools, increased communication touchpoints, and even shifted some of my leadership philosophies to accommodate the needs of a virtual team. Growth is essential for survival as a leader.

6. Seek External Feedback

This exercise in self-reflection cannot be done in isolation. Often, our blind spots are the things we can’t see for ourselves. That’s why seeking feedback from others is so important. You might be surprised by what your team thinks about your leadership style versus what you perceive.

Some ways to gather feedback include:

• Anonymous surveys to gauge how your team feels about your leadership.
• One-on-one meetings where you encourage your team to be honest and open.
• Peer feedback from other leaders or colleagues you trust.

I always say feedback is a gift, and the more you seek it out, the better you’ll understand how to grow as a leader. I remember receiving feedback that I wasn’t as approachable as I thought I was. It was eye-opening and gave me a clear direction on what I needed to work on.

7. Action Steps: Becoming the Leader You’d Follow

Now that you’ve done the hard work of self-reflection, it’s time to take action. No leader is perfect, but we can all strive to become better. So, what can you do next to ensure you’re the type of leader others would gladly follow? Here are some immediate action steps:

• Set personal leadership goals. Pick one area where you feel you need improvement and set measurable goals to work on it.
• Prioritize self-care. A leader who is burned out can’t effectively lead others. Take care of yourself so you can show up as your best self for your team.
• Invest in leadership development. Whether it’s reading books, attending workshops, or seeking out a mentor, continually invest in your growth as a leader.

The question, “Would you follow you?” is one that every leader should ask themselves regularly. It’s not about perfection, but about progress. As leaders, we have a responsibility to lead by example and create an environment where people feel empowered, valued, and motivated.

I encourage you to take this exercise seriously. Ask the tough questions, seek out feedback, and commit to becoming the best version of yourself as a leader. Because if you wouldn’t follow you, why should anyone else?