Worth?

Never question your own worth and beauty - I don't.

How is worth measured? Where do identity and understanding of worth begin? I'm aware that, like many, my worth was not a sturdy foundation built during younger development. It was not forged from within based on a kind and nurturing external factor. It seemed worth could only be earned by my ability to bend and flex to others' expectations. Over time, the bending and flexing exceeded my capacity to care for myself, and I was heading into heart failure.?

I began identifying the vicious cycles that created a dangerous trap of over and out-performing due to the fear of losing worth, and I reached a breaking point. It was no longer sustainable to live and work the way I was. My reality did not know life as something to live but as something only meant to survive. Could I trust myself enough to stop surviving and begin living? No, I could not. And, for a frightening moment, I considered a solution I know now would've devastated many people. I was at the intersection of my health and happiness, needing to answer a fundamental question, "Where and what is my worth?"

In December 2019, a cardiologist delicately pointed at a poster, asking me, "How do you feel?" I was at the peak of my career, but I couldn't walk up our home's flight of stairs without getting winded and needing to rest on a step. My husband was randomly waking through the night to check my pulse because my heart was pausing for up to thirty seconds at a time. I wasn't sleeping and self-medicating at an alarming rate to maintain twelve to eighteen-hour working days. I checked every box on the cardiology poster illustrating the signs and symptoms of heart failure. After years of ignoring my pain, it was the wake-up call I needed to begin my unique journey to align and heal the whole mind and body.?

I desired and searched for a safe space to start breathing, listening, reading, and doing the work. Along this journey, I quickly discovered how mental and physical health lacked resources for my unique needs. I do not doubt that this reality exists for many others. I started taking a personal inventory of the character-stretching skills and ego-busting knowledge I had obtained from a wildly colorful and unexpected life. Patiently and methodically, I aim to translate these skills and knowledge into a personalized playbook and roadmap to true self.

While still a work in progress, the tools, methods, and resources I discovered have provided me with a consistent and balanced outlook on the life I knew existed but didn't seem attainable for someone like me.?It is with great joy and immense gratitude that after committing two years of dedication to my mental and physical health, there are no more signs of heart disease! For the second year, hard work, dedication, and commitment to my true self have given me a healthy heart and improved awareness of worth and value. For the first time in a long time, I feel comforted and at peace for being me.

I could only change what was once there was an intention. I intended, and continually intend, to feel good and be happy. To feel good and be happy means making decisions that aren't necessarily comfortable but are certainly better for ourselves and those we love. After twenty-two years of being in a career that has provided me with much wisdom through compassion, exceptional opportunities, executive privileges and experiences, numerous accolades, and meaningful connections, it is time to give thanks and move in a happier and healthier direction. Although I make it sound like Cher's farewell tour, Human Resources has played a unique role in the ensemble that is my life. And an important place in my healed heart.?

From transitioning thousands of soldiers and families safely home and back together to building and designing workforce infrastructures that profited billions, I took a deep dive. I explored every realm of this vital profession residing at the core of human equity and iniquity. I have proudly served on the front lines of people operations, working with leaders, employees, and businesses through immense fear, worry, and loss. I have celebrated resounding victories and milestones with colleagues that will remain some of the happiest and most rewarding times in my life. These raw and emotional intersections have given me a deeper understanding of how we each come to know and create a happy and healthy lifestyle that works. We all want to be happy and healthy. But how?

Transforming health and happiness is complex and, most often, impossible to do alone. Without guidance from the right people, resources, unconditional acceptance, and love, my story would be much different. I believe my view and experience are shared with many that there is a deterioration in our health and happiness due to misaligned and unrealistic resources, monumental expectations, bureaucratic bottlenecks, crippling polarization, and overworked health systems and practitioners. I am sharing this deeply personal shift as I tip-toe into this next chapter focusing on whole-person wellness and guidance. Helping and seeing someone align with their true self fills the space of purpose and meaning for me.??

I recently returned home from a trip to celebrate my two-year health and happiness journey. I went to a specific spot along the California central coast near Morro Bay. This spot is atop a massive dune overlooking the ocean. It's a spectacular and humbling sensation when I marvel at the mystical crashing tide, feeling so small and unimportant but completely free simultaneously. I like going there when I can to meditate and give thanks. I'm alone, and it's peaceful.

When I returned home, my husband had this note on our bathroom mirror "Never question your own worth and beauty - I don't."?How can I help others stop questioning and owning their worth and beauty - their true self? I am choosing to acknowledge a path forward and trusting myself to create a safe community and space for others to heal and align to self and worth with intentional design methods.

With Love & Kindness,

-Clinton Shane?

?Connect With Me. If you or someone you know is misaligned with their health and happiness, please reach out. [email protected]