WORST Venues to Perform In!!

People always ask comics what’s our worst SHOW, but they never ask what’s our worst VENUE. I’ve performed in a museum, a bakery, an aircraft carrier, a floating stage on a lake, and many other non-conventional places. These shows have gone great, but the place that I think works the worst for comedy/speaking? The dreaded EXHIBIT HALLS. I’ve lived this HALLish nightmare several times almost always with the same BAD results.?

They have all the elements of a terrible setup in

one convenient place – people talking (the reason for the exhibits!), large in-your-way decorations, and a hidden location in which to stash the comedian.

TA DA – the mecca of awful venues. Oh, and the crappy, garbled sound systems are made for brief announcements; trying to follow a comedian’s jokes all the way from set-up to punchline is downright impossible.?

I once got booked at a women’s home show exhibit where I was

stuffed away in the far corner of the hall, with about 100 chairs in front of me for the audience. And I did have a captive audience - of guys whose wives had dragged them to the women’s expo. I’m always up for the challenge, so I jumped on stage (no introduction), and started into my act. I immediately realized that the microphone I was using was connected to the ENTIRE sound system and I was being broadcast throughout the entire convention hall. So not only the guys in front of me could hear me, but also the hundreds of people visiting the 800 booths. How confusing for them! They’re trying to talk with a vendor about a bathroom makeover, and from somewhere up in the ceiling, they hear me talking about a make-up makeover. That had to be an awkward exchange.?

PLUS, (yes there’s more),

about 3 minutes into my set, I realized that I’m not the only one with a mic! The organizer had one too. He was way over on the other side of the convention hall, far, far away from me, and he was making announcements that were trampling my jokes.?

My show went a little like:??

Me: “so I’m on a diet, and I tried yoga”??

Loudspeaker: “Attention everyone! Don’t miss the demonstration of our veggie food processor. Aisle 25.??

Me: “I can’t do yoga because . .”??

Loudspeaker: “we’ll be drawing raffle tickets for a complete bathroom makeover. Get rid of that ugly toilet now!”??

Me: “No, it’s not because of the bathroom makeover. I can’t do yoga because”??

Loudspeaker: “Free cookies in aisle 16!”??

What. A. Struggle.?

But the guys loved me and were not in the least bit lured away by

? price off jewelry. I ended up having fun with them and joking around about the announcements. I’m sure this confused the folks visiting the booths even more, but I didn’t care. My goal was to have my audience have fun, and they did.?

With 3 minutes left to go, I got hit with another “challenge”.

Suddenly, about 30 school kids and their parents appeared and came streaming down the aisle toward the stage. The kids plopped themselves right up front on the floor; apparently, they were the next act, so they wanted to be ready.?

I finished up this train wreck and headed towards the back. Many of the guys followed me to talk and buy my book, and I ended up getting lots of comments about how great I was. One guy even said something to the effect of “you’re really great. What are you doing here?” What can I say to that – money? Lol.?

When you’re in a situation where you’re pretty much set up to fail, but you must go through with it anyway (money!), then find a way to have fun and make it interesting to YOU. Getting angry and upset only ruins the moment for you and others when instead you could be laughing and coming out with a funny life story. Oh, and always, always focus on the people who are interested in what you’re doing and ignore the rest. Otherwise, you’ll be wasting your precious time and energy.?

Jan McInnis is a Keynote Speaker, Comedian, Comedy Writer, and Master of Ceremonies. She has written for Jay Leno’s Tonight Show monologue as well as many other people, places, and groups – radio, TV, syndicated cartoon strips, and even guests on the Jerry Springer show (her parents are proud). For 20+ years she’s traveled country as a keynote speaker and comedian sharing her unique and practical tips on what business leaders can learn from comedians (no, it’s not all about telling jokes). She can be reached at www.TheWorkLady.com, or [email protected]? She’s also a GREAT Master of Ceremonies. Click here for her emcee site?