The Worst Things We Do, We Do to Ourselves

Often, we’re frightened when we come to terms with a problem that has grown out of proportion and seems dangerous. As these problems manifest, we become more and more aware of the intricacies that have created it. The hardest truth to face when it comes to challenges that build up overtime is that they are typically products of our own creation. Often built out of a lack of perspective to our own coded responses that come from the autopilot of repeated behavior.

To face issues of any sort, though, we must be willing to separate our Identity (who we are) from our Role (what we do). Without going too deep into the topic, remember back to the last time you started fresh at a new company.

How willing were you to listen to criticism? How often did reprimands seem personal? How easily did you read into the instructions of others as a reflection of their personal motivations?

The longer we work in a business the more easily we confuse our Identity with our Role. We take criticism as a personal affront and take it personally. We view the attempts to coach us as shaded acts of subterfuge to ourselves, our divisions, and our friends.

Thus, the core issue, the longer we spend in our field of work, the more likely we are to fall prey to the mistakes of complacency. We begin to see our Role merge with our Identity and devote more effort to the why of actions and less to the what. Overtime we become complacent in what we do and allow more of who we are to merge with what we do so that what we do becomes who we are. It is rarely that we find so much meaning in our work that we blend the two, it is more often that we find a sense of identity within that repetition and allow it to cloud our judgment.

The original point is this: the majority of challenges that you face are challenges you’ve created. You’ve programmed yourself to respond and take specific actions that may not always be in your best interest. Often it takes an outside influence or a coach to look objectively at the patterns in behavior and help determine where issues are coming from.

If you’re having issues, but can’t determine the source, log your behavior and try to go beyond the symptoms to the root of the issues that are causing complications in your world. The nice part about being the source of your challenges is that you can be the solution. So be the change you need to achieve the success you want.


Enjoy the sweet final days of summer,

Jim Stephens, President/CEO

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