The Worst Relationship Advice I Ever Got—and How It Almost Cost Me Everything?

We have all heard relationship advice from well-meaning friends, family, mentors, and even social media experts. Some of it is helpful, but some can be downright dangerous. I learned this the hard way.

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As you all know I am a Survivor.

After surviving a life-altering accident, I realized how much relationships shape our lives—how they either build us up or slowly tear us down. I also learned that not all advice is worth following.

One particular piece of advice nearly cost me everything—my peace, my self-worth, and even my ability to trust again.

In this newsletter, I’ll share that advice, how it led me down a destructive path, and the crucial lessons I learned that helped me rebuild my relationships and my life.

Along the way, I’ll challenge you to reflect on the advice you’ve been given and whether it’s truly serving you.

1. The Advice That Almost Broke Me

Have you ever been told, “Just forgive and forget”?

That was the advice I received repeatedly when dealing with toxic relationships.

People told me that true strength lies in moving on, pretending the pain never existed, and keeping the peace at any cost.

At first, it seemed wise. Holding onto anger and resentment felt exhausting.

But in reality, I wasn’t healing—I was suppressing. I allowed unhealthy relationships to continue because I believed that setting boundaries meant I was being unforgiving.

Reflection Question: Have you ever forgiven someone at your own expense? Were you truly at peace, or were you just avoiding conflict?

Reflection Answer: Mindsetting, DM me to learn more about it.

2. The Danger of “Forgetting”

Forgiveness is powerful. But forgetting? That’s where things get dangerous.

By “forgetting” the harm done to me, I was permitting people to keep hurting me.

I ignored red flags, convinced myself that history wouldn’t repeat itself, and silenced my own intuition. Over time, I lost confidence in my own judgment and struggled to trust anyone—even those with good intentions.

Real healing came when I understood that forgiveness doesn’t mean erasing the past. It means learning from it. It means recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and protecting yourself from being hurt in the same way again.

Reflection Question: Is there someone in your life who you keep forgiving but who continues to hurt you? What patterns do you notice in that relationship?

Reflection Answer: Cord-cutting, DM me to learn more about how to cut your cords.

3. The Price of Peace at Any Cost

Another variation of bad advice I received was, “It’s not worth the fight—just let it go.”

I was told that if I wanted to keep my relationships intact, I needed to avoid confrontation.

I should “choose my battles” and accept that some things just aren’t worth arguing over. But when does compromise become self-betrayal?

Avoiding conflict might keep the surface of a relationship smooth, but underneath, resentment builds. And it reflects pain in your body, which we mistake for bodily pain.

Over time, I realized I was sacrificing my voice, my needs, and my self-respect for the sake of keeping others comfortable.

True connection isn’t built on avoidance. It’s built on honest conversations, even when they’re difficult.

Reflection Question: Have you been avoiding a difficult conversation out of fear? What would happen if you finally addressed it?

Reflection Answer: Crucial Conversations, DM me for more details.

4. The Real Truth About Healthy Relationships

Through my journey, I learned that good relationships aren’t built on blind forgiveness, forgetting the past, or avoiding conflict. They’re built on:

• Healthy Boundaries: Protecting your energy and emotional well-being.
• Mutual Respect: Being heard, valued, and treated with kindness.
• Authentic Communication: Speaking your truth without fear of losing love.
• Self-Worth: Knowing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

These aren’t just ideals—they are necessary foundations.

Without them, relationships become one-sided, draining, and even harmful.

Reflection Question: Do your current relationships reflect these principles? If not, what changes need to happen?

Closing Thoughts

The worst relationship advice I ever got almost cost me my peace, my self-trust, and my ability to love fully. But by unlearning these harmful beliefs, I was able to rebuild my relationships from a place of strength rather than fear.

If you’ve been following advice that isn’t serving you, now is the time to question and reflect on it.

Are you prioritizing your well-being, or are you sacrificing yourself for relationships that don’t truly nourish you?

You deserve relationships that empower you, not ones that drain you.

Call to Action: If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever received bad relationship advice? What lessons did you learn from it?

Let’s start a conversation—reply to this article or share your story in the comments. Your voice matters!

DM me to learn about Mindsetting, Cord-Cutting, and Crucial Conversations