This Is Worse Than Failure or Success...

When I launched my agency last year, I decided to make sure that everything I do had one of two outcomes - success or failure.

No more middle ground. I did not want to look back and regret not knowing. For me, it was a way to keep things constantly moving forward, keep track of my progress and most of all get into a consistent habit of being accountable for my actions.

This article is written for those who find themselves sitting on the fence because of the fear to fail or succeed. Yes, fear of success is a real thing.

As I write this article, I am getting more comfortable with failing or succeeding in every aspect of my life; and truthfully have gained new perspectives.

For the most part, this has been a very humbling experience. At this time, it's important to bring to light that I have never handled failure very well in the past.

I was raised to think that failure is unacceptable - not by my parents, but by the people I was surrounded by.

You could say that I did not have a knack for choosing the right peers back in the day - while their perfectionist nature drew me in, the very same trait also suffocated my career.

But sitting on the fence is not the answer. When you fail, you'll know why. When you succeed, you'll know how. When you sit on the fence, your ass gets sore.

But We Are Wired for Success

Let's face it, failure is not naturally built into our DNA. People who fail get ridiculed, ostracized, and shamed.

Nobody wants to be associated with a bumbling fool. But success, on the other hand is worshiped and adored.

Successful people have been honored and cemented their place in history. From athletes and politicians to innovators and explorers. The world teaches us that failure is bad and success is good. No question about it.

The consequences of failure have many of us refusing to take chances, even when our instinct and experience are edging us forward; the thought of possibly failing holds us back with such immense force - we cave in and quit trying.

Then our brain shuts down, our body feels paralyzed, and we feel defeated - all sorts of negative thoughts creep in and consume your soul. Nobody wants to be led to the guillotine of failure.

Forcing It Upon Yourself

When I set out to tell myself that failing was OK, I quickly recognized the need to completely shift my mindset.

I had to unlearn everything I was indoctrinated about failure. It was an exhausting process - my mental muscle felt soar, I was emotionally conflicted - there is no sugar-coating this.

It reminded me of how my entire body ached when I started working out again after taking a break for 6 months. (Ouch!!)

But it was well worth it.

Here's What I Found

• Growth through failure. The only way to learn and get better is by allowing yourself to experience failure. This is extremely powerful because you are your biggest critic. No one intentionally set out to fail; that's just insanity. But making mistakes is a normal part of work and life. I've still yet to meet someone who has not failed; and if they told me they have never failed - it's probably a lie.
• Accountability with conviction. When you are indecisive, you are free from accountability. And that gives you a sadistic permission to dwell in unhealthy habits that lead to more self doubt and low self esteem. That's not the type of life you want to strive for. Get accountable. Own your success and failure. Accountability does not only happens when you screw up, I feel, that when you succeed in a tasks/project/business/life, you need to celebrate your accountability as well.
• Challenges either way. No the circumstance, you will be challenged mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially. Your ability to cope with these challenges is what separates you, from other people who get overwhelmed with seemingly insane tasks. There will be no free ride, it will get uncomfortable and you will be pushed to the limits. But, having awareness of yourself and setting your mindset to total positivity, you will reach a level of mentality that will strengthen you spirit to face each challenge thoughtfully, logically, and with resolve.
• Enjoy your success. Let me be 100% clear - you MUST celebrate your success. Too often I have seen companies spend more time criticizing failures than celebrating wins. I worked with a brand that would spend so little time celebrating their teams' successes, over time, they didn't even know what success looked like. Many of us feel that we basking in our success is not humble, or it's bad thing to brag about it. (It's only bad if you abuse it.) I implore you to start enjoying your successes as much as you learn from your mistakes. Do not let anyone take your wins away from you. You deserve the fruit of your labor.
• Don't be lukewarm. Indecisiveness is not attractive. We are all, at some level, attracted to individuals or companies who embrace failure and celebrate success equally. Indecisiveness clogs up the mental highway and truthfully just annoys the hell out of everyone around you. What's more important is to make a choice; decide to decide. Don't worry if you will fail or succeed; life is fair - it will will grant you your fair share of both throughout your life. Embrace it, live your best life, and enjoy your journey.

Summing It Up

Develop the habit of deciding. Nothing can be accomplished by sitting on the fence, and all great leaders make decisions - whether ending in success or failure. So you decide. You can either choose to continue sitting on the fence where it is safe, or start cultivating the habit of deciding and owning it.