WORRYING

Anticipatory Anxiety will stop you living your best and happiest life. The things you worry about may indeed happen, or they may not, but one thing is for sure; worrying about it won't improve matters.

I know this to be true because I’ve done it. Hours and days and probably wasted years of worrying. I’ve watched loved ones do it too. Worrying, fretting, stressing, being anxious, overthinking, ruminating...

In the largest YouGov survey* of its kind to date, a staggering 74% of 4619 respondents felt so stressed that they were overwhelmed or unable to cope.

• Worrying pervades our vibration like a low lying fog. It acts like a cloak, covering up the essence of you.

• Worrying is like turning down the dimmer switch on the light which shines from within you.

• Worrying frays our nerves and makes us irritable, pushing away those closest to us, further contributing to more angst. 37% of adults who reported feeling stressed reported feeling lonely as a result. (YouGov)

• Worrying is likely to increase our use of maladaptive coping mechanisms to escape, such as increased drinking, smoking, unhealthy eating, scrolling, shopping, overworking, overtraining etc. 46% reported that they ate too much or ate unhealthily due to stress. 29% reported that they started or increased their drinking, and 16% reported that they started or increased their smoking.

• Worry steels our time and our joy which is after all, the only reality; this very moment.

• Worry suggests there avoidance or passivity somewhere. Have you done absolutely everything in your power to change the situation? Absolutely everything? Everything? Remember to be realistic about this, and logical. It is worth writing down and examining in great detail, exactly what you are worrying about. Look at the words and keep asking yourself if there is anything more you want to say or feel you could do in the particular situation.

Repeat the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, until you know it off by heart. It really will help you.

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

The stillness of what just is, the isness, the essence is hard to understand, but knowing that it just is, will change everything, and is worth attempting, at least to work towards, because eventually, it will just land.

So what else can we do to stop rumination? It is an intrinsic part of the process of Emotional Recalibration, and it takes commitment, but it is entirely possible to replace healthier thoughts with what I once heard brilliantly referred to as “Stinkin’ Thinkin.’” I hope this is helpful. Maybe it might be useful for someone you love.

Tanya x

Emotional Resilience - Spiritual and Therapeutic Guidance Through The Toughest Challenges in Life

Mental Health Foundation on Stress

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/stress-are-we-coping-report