The world of "yes"...

The quote above “not knowing where you’re going means you end up elsewhere” is evocative of our society. From taking those bumbling, first discovery steps when we learn how to walk to choosing what we study at University at just 18 years old (Side bar: I now have T-shirts that are 18 years old.) It’s like we join the human race to start moving in that direction, or any direction from the get-go. Focus, planning, strategy and missteps are all part of the process of being a person, whether the strategy is yours or one developed for you. My point is, you always need to be headed in the right direction, so we’re told.

To be fair, it DOES get the majority of us (from what I see) to the places and people we’re supposed to see – but here’s the thing: what if it’s NOT about heading in the (prescribed) right direction? It’s about just headed in ANY direction! Is that OK? Will that still get us to where we want to be or some kind of professional nirvana that we had no idea was around the corner? Isn’t that actually alright as opposed to a life mapped out? The older you get, you realize the map isn’t mapped out AT ALL, IMO it’s one that evolves and grows with us as we take our steps. So… rather than always knowing where we’re supposed to be headed, what if we cater for our professional progression/development in a brand new way?

Couldn’t be so bad, could it?

Here’s my philosophy that took me most of my life to figure out and from a personal perspective, it’s working and best of all – I’m loving it.

I’d played a song for years and I’m talking on a Sony Disc man (so I MEAN, years.) The song is called “Yes”. The opening lyric took me a lifetime to truly understand properly and honestly. It goes:

“Life keeps happening every day – say yes.”

Magic, right there.

It landed and resonated at a time when I needed fresh inspiration. Ironically, as you already know, this song had been in my mental playlist for over half my life. It was tucked away and presented itself, finally at the right time. They say and I SAY – “youth is wasted on the young”, but not if you squirrel some treasures away.

So – life keeps happening (#agreed), SAY YES.

What did that mean?

Fundamentally, be open to brand new things, your comfort zone is defined by one thing, one person – YOU. So having spent 80 years of the 40 I’ve been alive asking “why, why, why?” I had to become a “why not?” person. Well change is all part of saying “yes”, am I right?

I went on to define what “say yes” meant in my world and being one of the least famous “list” people on the planet, this is of course, how it came out:

1.     Be curious.

This is really easy for a “why” person, so wasn’t a difficult one to master. Call it inquisitive, downright nosey or infuriatingly irritating – but when you’re a #whyguy or #whygal you can flip that to become one of the “why not” species easily. Taking professional chances in today’s world requires more than chutzpah, believe me I know – but there’s a payoff provided there’s your sense and sense of self/others in your decision making process. We’re born with our own characteristic curiosity but don’t we lose that via the tooth fairy and as we turn left at Father Christmas? Maybe. Can the world of commutes, deadlines and council tax fees drain it right out of you? Absolutely. The challenge then is on us to “own it” and get back to that which killed the cat. Find your curiosity, it’s still there, I promise you. Use that wonderful power of being curious to draw you to new avenues, different thoughts and fresh inspiration. Use the curious to channel you to a place where you say “yes.”

2.     Tick Tock.

Turning 40 was not what I expected. Cue oxymoron: I have genuinely lied about my age for as long as I can remember (it may have even stretched to my birth place) but when 40 landed, I went into “owning it” if for no other reason than my ability to out run it (AT my age) would have been impossible… and truth be told, I had way more fun owning it. What I did become conscious of was – the clock is ticking. At 40, you’re lucky to be 50% of the way through your journey. It’s scary but true. I used that as an “activate” button within myself to “say yes”. I didn’t give up my Lanc?me fan boy moments (good skin care is essential & life long – am talking to EVERYONE out there) but I knew I had more places to see and more things I wanted to do. What had I been waiting for? To let time slip away? No, no ticking clock, you aren’t going to get that one over on ME.

Find the activate button, be aware but not intimated by time and get to it. Say “yes”. The world still has some mystical places and people. Don’t let them pass you by.

3.     It broadens the mind. It just DOES!

One of the greatest gifts in the last 18 months and that I literally said “yes” to every part of is the amount of travelling I’ve done. I think I went on more planes in the past year than I did in the previous 10. Was it exhausting? At times. Did I miss my beloved ones? Yes – but I make the choice to carry them with me and I mastered Skype (even on a beach in Barcelona without Wi-Fi.) The enrichment you get from travelling, checking out other cultures and if you’re an architecture junkie like me, far outweighs the food on the menu you’d rather die than eat. Trust me. I’ve done it. I am that person who always seems to be on a plane or a fast train (Rufus Wainwright lyric for you aficionados) but I have a home to come back to and there will be a time when I lack the patience to deal with those lovely professionals at airport security, so I do it, while I can. P.S.: I have upcoming adventures in Barcelona and hope to share those too! #travel

4.     The lessons.

Saying “yes” metaphorically and physically means you get opportunities which teach you lessons. Boom! That works for me. I spent the first part of my career designing and facilitating learning for endless rooms of colleagues, which I have no regrets about BUT we can short change ourselves as we go through life, so I’m reminding you (and me) that we’re never done learning. The lessons never go away and we shouldn’t want them to. Easy doesn’t make you grow. Ever. So “the lessons” are where it’s at and what’s the key to the lesson door? Saying yes.

One of my all-time fave Ted Talks is where Jia Jiang guides us through what his lessons in being open to rejection are and channelling THAT in itself to personal learnings. The discoveries Mr Jiang made are a revelation and a piece of enlightenment for us all. The talk is right here and you HAVE to hear about the burger refill!

PS: thank you to my guru Sinead Healy, she knows why.

5.     Being greedy.

In the nicest possible sense, we all want that extra slice of Dominoes but the “greed” I’m talking about is being greedy/hungry for LIFE. As humans we collectively aspire for more or bigger or greater – that’s how Neil Armstrong ended up on the moon. We want more, we want to push boundaries, some of us even want to win a cross country run race (I was NEVER that person.) So saying yes, helps the right kind of greed because it opens up and presents more opportunities to get out there in the world and experience. They say memories are not made from “to do lists” (I’m enrolling in therapy for that one in the autumn) but I can see the sense that makes. No one on this planet is guaranteed more time. So did you live your life to be average and experience an average life? If you did, cool. If you didn’t – go get some unapologetic extraordinary is what I say. It doesn’t need to be Rocky Balboa or Tina Turner extraordinary. Just find your own. It’s out there. Say yes.

6.     Make someone happy.

We started with a song and we’re ending with one. It’s from a musical which need surprise no one. Its lyrics are TIMELESS. Whether you’re of the Facebook generation or the rocking chair and “Valley of the Dolls” generation – the words of this song will echo within you. Without listening and I recommend you do (Audra McDonald has the essential rendition) it’s about what really matters in life and fusing the right people you love with the right kind of inspiration. I ask you to count yourself in that – you’re responsible for making you happy. It’s on you. It really is. Saying yes to new experiences and connections and challenges might just give you the inspiration you’re looking for and #doublewhammy you then get to inspire others. Who doesn’t find that sexy, seriously?

In conclusion:

I’ve been all about “life keeps happening – say yes” which has worked for me. Will it work for you? Who knows, all I’m doing here is presenting my truth and effectively the wins I got, which was at a time when I wasn’t looking for them.

I don’t walk around in the land of my little pony, so I get and respect that along with saying “yes” in the way I’ve outlined has and will always have consequences. As grownups (#oyvey) we have to pay attention to that, so my entire philosophy is threaded with acting responsibly, ethically and sharp enough to identify consequences.

But aren’t there always consequences? That’s not a newsflash, to any of us.

So all that said, whether it’s a personal learning or a rolling boulder behind you– you can still say “yes” and keep an eye on the consequence, for all you know it’s headed in a different direction anyway and you get to rise to the challenge of out running it.

Life does keep happening every day.

What will you say?