Not Crazy! My Mild Menopause Journey - Reflections On World Menopause Day

Not crazy - just weird! Lucky for me, I was raised by a midwife and GP, so I knew menopause was coming and that at some stage my ovaries would shut up shop, hormones would go flying, and I’d get hot. When it did arrive, it arrived early, but in comparison to many of my friends and colleagues, my symptoms were mild — as it turns out, I am one of the fortunate ones. This is my mild menopause story...

I had, and still get, ambushed by the infamous hot flush. At their peak, I was having them 12 times a day, which led me to believe I was going through high-speed menopause (wishful thinking!). Luckily, no one could see them happening. While some of my poor colleagues visibly melted into pools where they sat, I could still stand up in meetings and present to clients, looking my usual self on the outside while, on the inside, I was in purgatory burning up under the noonday sun somewhere in the Sahara, wondering when exactly I would spontaneously combust and give the whole charade away. Thankfully for everyone, it’s never happened — so far, so good! Dreaming of freezing, remembering to breathe, keeping calm, and carrying on seemed to work. That said, the “jersey on, jersey off” routine was a dead giveaway for those in the know!

I did have several years of not sleeping well and experienced anxiety, particularly at night. This usually culminated in nightly ‘Head Wars’ with me listening to the voices of a thousand Chicken Lickens screaming that the sky was falling, while my sole voice of optimism stood amidst the chaos trying to calm the farm. On the bright side, I did do a lot of brainstorming between one and five in the morning — but it was exhausting and not great for self-esteem, let alone running your own agency! My doctor suggested sleeping pills, which I reluctantly gave in to — taking one a week, which felt like a special occasion. HRT was never offered to me and wasn’t on my radar, but I did have a Mirena, which definitely helped.

In the meantime, while all this was happening, the menopause fire brigade had arrived en masse to douse out the flames of desire. This was an absolute travesty that led me down online rabbit holes looking for solutions — some evidence-based, some ‘snake oil’. This included eating handfuls of deer velvet tablets, which I can categorically tell you do not help!

Maybe I was too busy ignoring other symptoms, but I do feel I got off lightly and was weirdly fascinated by the crazy goings-on in my body. I didn’t suffer from depression, I didn’t get brain fog, and I didn’t experience blinding migraines that sent me straight to hell for months. My body didn’t permanently ache, I didn’t have extreme mood swings (exercise definitely helped), and I didn’t break out in a red leopard-skin rash like one of my friends, which scared the living bejesus out of all of us. I didn’t have heart palpitations (actually, I did, but not enough to rate a mention). I didn’t suffer from psychosis or have suicidal thoughts, though I experienced the heartbreaking fallout of someone who did, and I still wear the cracks. I didn’t take medication that suddenly stopped working, or suffer from ongoing chronic fatigue, and I didn’t have to support kids going through puberty while I was going through puberty in reverse. But millions of women around the world going through menopause do — and, scarily, a large number of them don’t even know it’s a ‘thing’. That’s why World Menopause Day is so important.

According to ChatGPT, there are approximately 400 million women between the ages of 45 and 55 worldwide. These are the years most women go through menopause. That’s a lot! And that’s why we need to know more about it.

In the past five years, the taboo around menopause has begun to fall away, thanks to a growing number of menopause activists, health specialists, and celebrities speaking out. Not surprisingly, brands and businesses around the world have seized the opportunity to capitalise on a new and lucrative market they hadn’t realised existed! Yet still, so little evidence-based research is being done to understand menopause.

Here are some things I’d love to see happen in New Zealand: — Easy access to information about menopause, especially on official NZ health sites, and in medical clinics, pharmacies, and workplaces. — For menopause to be taught in schools, alongside puberty, reproduction, and pregnancy. — For health professionals, especially GPs, to receive more thorough training on menopause as part of medical school curricula. — An increase in funding and research to better understand menopause and ultimately provide better solutions and support (there are 40 known symptoms associated with menopause that affect everything from personal health to GDP!). — For everyone to have access to the support they need, at home, at work, and within their communities.

Happy World Menopause Day, wonderful people ! If you’ve got this far, here’s a link to one of my favourite clips from Fleabag, where Kristin Scott Thomas talks about the post-menopause afterlife — we’re in for a treat! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZrnHnASRV8