The World Cup, Offsides, The Magic Sponge, and...Family Law?

The United States, for the first time since 2014, has made it to the knockout stage of the World Cup. Our 'reward' is getting to play the Dutch tomorrow morning (see this video for Austin Power's Dad's view of the Dutch).??

I’ve been catching bits and pieces of the games and texting with a friend who played soccer for a couple of decades to try to get a grasp on some of the technical things going on (like, why doesn't France seem to care about scoring against Tunisia?). While doing so, I came across some valuable lessons I think would be helpful for all family law attorneys, and clients, to think about.?

If you've watched any of the games, for even a few minutes, the odds are high that you've noticed one team attacking the goal while several defenders suddenly throw their arms up. They are, I discovered, asking the ref to call offsides on the other team.?Frequently, they are doing it while the play goes on. I think we can all agree that you can run a lot faster with your hands by your side than you can with one hand high above your head.?

There are many things I find wrong about this tactic, but I’ll just mention two today. First, it’s just a bad look. Second, it can cost you the game. Occasionally, the man with the ball zips by the guys waiting for the call to score a goal.?I actually watched this happen in the Japan vs. Spain game yesterday while typing this up. A Spanish defender threw both hands up to indicate the ball had crossed the end line. As he did, a Japanese striker, with the ball, arrived at the same time, two feet away from him, and scored.?Guess who won that game...

Here's the thing about that: at this level of play there is an on-field referee who is all powerful, two assistant referees on the sidelines specifically watching for offsides, an assistant referee on the sidelines around midfield watching all, and video replay on demand.??

Nobody's missing offsides. As we’ve seen in many news articles this World Cup season, there’s been at least nine disallowed goals in group play games alone. This means a team has scored a goal, and the goal has been taken away because offsides is called on the scoring team. Also, in the history of soccer, I’m positive no referee has ever watched a hand go up and said to themselves, "Gosh, they seem to be an honest chap, I shall honor his request and blow the whistle."??

Family Law moral of the story: you can't control the court, you can't control the process, you can’t control the Judge,?you can only control you, your actions, and your reactions.??

Now for another family law lesson I’ve seen play out in the World Cup (it really is wild how much sports can remind you of a courtroom). ?

This you can't miss anytime you watch Soccer: a player is hit while on the ball and goes down in a heap, withering on the ground, grabbing a leg, maybe a leg and a shoulder, maybe just so completely still you're waiting for a priest to come out and administer Last Rites. A medical team gets there, they check out various areas of the body, splash on water from a sponge, and the player miraculously recovers and is back to full speed in a few minutes.??

This is referred to as “The Magic Sponge” and has been around since 1888. It was originally just cold water, now you’ll sometimes see it followed by a magical white spray that numbs a chunk of skin.??

There are flops, there are people who go down just to get a breather, but most of the time, the player has caught a cleat to the shin, ankle, or top of the foot from someone running a 4.7 second forty-yard dash. Mass times acceleration equals force, right???

It hurts. It really, really hurts. Most players in every serious level of play wear either round metal cleats or long, molded hard plastic cleats that are sharp. They are inspected before the game by an assistant ref to make sure there are no 'burrs' that could cut someone.??

You'll never see blood, but you can't imagine what those cleats, coming down with force, feel like when they catch bone. It's a shock to the system, it's like fireworks going off, the pain radiates wildly. In a minute or three it subsides to a dull roar, the magic sponge numbs it, and the player plays on.??

If you could see what ankles, top of feet, heels, shins, and calves look like after a game, you would never question how much it might have hurt at the time - or how long it's going to hurt.??

Added to this, because the World Cup is being played in Qatar, it was moved from being played in the summer to November and now December. It is interrupting every professional league's regular season. The players have been playing a full schedule. Harry Kane of England, for instance, has played something like 20 games in the last 30 days.??

At this point, guys are getting nailed on old bruises that have never had a chance to heal.??

Yet, some players do fake it, take dives at every opportunity (I'm looking your way, Neymar). It can be hard to tell the difference. Most fans just boo everybody on the other team who goes down.???

And here’s where we get to the family law moral of the story: you can never know what someone else is going through in their life, on a particular day, even minute to minute. That means your soon-to-be-ex, the judge, mediator, court clerk, everybody. Always keep that in mind before you react.??

Everyone at Triangle Smart Divorce knows this and tries to act accordingly in our clients' best interest - which is sometimes to hold them back from getting a yellow card.??

And this is where my soccer knowledge ends for now (we’ve still got a few weeks left).While I probably can't answer many more questions about the World Cup, I?can surely answer any family law questions you may have. ?

Jenny Bradley a jock, a nerd, and a lawyer. None of that is mutually exclusive. She is the founder of North Carolina based law firm Triangle Smart Divorce. The firm specialized in helping smart people make smart decisions when getting married or divorced.

Triangle Smart Divorce is dedicated to helping people move on without drama, as quickly, efficiently, and economically as we can. Spending years in court is not going to help you move forward. That’s our goal. However, we understand that not always possible. In those cases, you have a fierce team of professionals behind you ensuring you get the best possible outcome.