In The World of AI, You Get What You Pay For....Or Don't Pay For

We all know that Artificial Intelligence is playing the long-game in regard to taking over the world; it is only a matter of time. And as AI continues to improve, and take our money as a result, the older, less performant versions of itself are left in the dust to be used by those who need a "just good enough" option to do their thinking for them.

Meet Doug Penny-Pincher, a Data Program Manager, who wants to improve his life with AI, but not for $20 a month. Armed with the budget-friendly ChatGPT (version 3, mind you), Doug's quest for a better work-life has turned into a hilarious disaster, leaving colleagues bewildered and clients utterly perplexed.

Doug's love affair with AI started innocently enough. In a world dominated by a dozen options of grandeur, Doug stood out like a sore thumb, a lone wolf, always wanting the newest tech, but not at new-tech-prices. His peers were using ChatGPT 4, boasting about its nuanced understanding, context retention, and uncanny ability to predict their thoughts and needs. But not Doug. Oh no, Doug had a different plan. A plan that involved ChatGPT, but the free version, the runt of the litter.

Picture this: Doug hunched over his laptop, fingers poised over the keyboard, his budget-conscious heart racing with excitement. He typed in his first question, "ChatGPT, what's the best strategy for optimizing our data pipeline?" The anticipation was palpable. Seconds turned into minutes as Doug waited for the response that would redefine his career. And then it came – a response so hilariously off-target that Doug didn't know if ChatGPT with toying with him, or if it was revealing the universe's mysteries (as AI has been known to do).

"Hey there, Doug! You know what they say – if life gives you lemons, make a lemonade stand! Now, about your data pipeline... have you considered incorporating Tuvan Throat Singing? Trust me, digits respond to dual tonality!"

Staring at the screen in utter disbelief, Doug wondered if he had accidentally stumbled upon a parallel universe where data management was a vaudevillian act. But alas, it was the wondrous world of ChatGPT 3, where context was but a fleeting memory and relevance was as elusive as Doug's grasp on sanity.

Undeterred by the catastrophe of his first attempt, Doug soldiered on. He asked ChatGPT for insights into customer behavior, hoping for a nugget of wisdom that would lead his team to data-driven success. The response, however, was more fitting for a psychic hotline: "I sense that customers in the market enjoy both oxygen and the occasional meme. Perhaps if you send them carrier pigeons stuffed with memes, engagement shall skyrocket!"

As days turned into weeks, Doug's futile attempts to squeeze useful information from ChatGPT 3 only got more absurd.

• He asked for market trends and got Jim Cramer advice, ouch!
• He sought advice on database optimization and received Marie Kondo advice (who knew that the best way to optimize a database was to declutter it?)
• And when he dared to question the AI's competence, it responded with "I know you are, but what am I?"

As Doug's colleagues basked in the AI-assisted glory of ChatGPT 4, he clung to his ChatGPT 3 like a shipwreck survivor clutching a piece of cardboard. And though his endeavors led to hilariously subpar results, Doug remained steadfast in his dedication to thriftiness.

You inspire all the frugal-minded, Doug! Never give up, never surrender