If Workplaces Incorporated THIS ...

I had the pleasure of being the speaker last week for a Wellness Day for Mental Health Week. I had the audience name emotions they have been feeling. These are the emotions that came up most for them:

Anger

Frustration

Sadness

Fear

Anxiety

Overwhelm

When I asked what that emotion sounds like, one courageous person stood up in front of 450 peers and said, "It sounds like, 'Be afraid'.?

This isn't uncommon. I have been hearing this repeated over the years, and it's only heightened in the last few years. When people ask me what we the adults can do, I have a secret I tell them.

I want to tell you that secret.

DELIGHT.

The secret to seeing anyone be able to be free from these powerful emotions that seek to entangle is by feeling they are delighted in.?

Now I'm not saying that it solves everything, but the reason many people feel strong emotions like anger, fear, sadness is largely because we feel shame.

Shame from not feeling welcome, not only at work, but sometimes even in our own homes.

Shame from not feeling seen or heard.

Shame from not being understood by those who we thought would.

We don't feel like a delight in those cases. We feel like a burden, we feel invisible, we feel like what we do doesn't matter or contribute.

But when someone makes us feel like we are a delight to them, there's something shame shattering about that. When we feel we belong at work, our motivation ramps up. When we are understood, we relax.

So many of us go through our day unacknowledged, not seen, not thanked or appreciated. How can we light up for others when we ourselves feel invisible??

The great news is that as I began to find delight and belonging in myself, listing out my strengths, getting rid of toxic people in my life that I can remove, and learning boundaries I was able to decide in my heart to never settle for relationships who don't attempt to see, hear, and understand me. This allowed me to be able to translate this into a work setting.

I concluded the talk with an exercise we do at Flourishing called, I See You, where we call out strengths?and acknowledge one another - in other words finding the delight in someone. I always find people are starved for this. The way their body posture changes and their eyes light up when they hear all others see in them. It's beautiful.

My encouragement to all of us today is to:

1. Dig deep and discover the delight in yourself. Where are you strong? Why is the world better because you're in it? (there's a significant answer here for you!)

2. Find the delight in others around you. Tell them what you see. Listen to their stories. Seek to understand. Let curiosity guide you, and watch what happens to the culture in your workplace. Something shifts.

Above all, keep being brave.?

And remember, you belong.?

Connie Jakab is the Co-Founder of Flourishing Workplace/Flourishing Educator where they are creating innovative solutions for mental health in schools, workplaces, and homes to flourish. Check out more at flourishingworkplace.com and certifiedflourishingeducator.com.

@conniejakab

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