Workplace Psychological Abuse - When/How/Why Did We Normalize It?

???? Why is workplace psychological abuse the status quo these days? How did it become normalized? This is my personal take and not everyone will agree and there are hundreds more of components into this, but these were top of mind for me today.

Let's explore...and before I do, caveat #1 when I mention generations, I'm not saying ALL people in that generation and caveat #2 when I convey empathy for abusers, that is not me giving them a pass nor justifying their behavior and caveat #3 is that the goal of this article is to help in sharing information and how things got started so that we can come together as humanity to help evolve the world rather than dismissing one another in the spirit of our own beliefs.

Ok, so as we look at today's workplace, we are (in large part) still operating from the industrial age rooted in patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, and colonialism. If any of those words triggered you, I invite you to turn inward to find out why. It's important to normalize these words and their meanings so that we can understand the full depths of each and how they impact all humans differently.

In today's world, we don't have room for patriarchy (only white men having power and being the default for all systems, procedures, and day to day life), nor do we have room for white supremacy (only white people having power and using that power to exert over non white people).

Colonialism and capitalism become an interesting topic...taking land by force that is not yours is not the land of the free if you ask me, and putting structure and process to a community so that it benefits all, yes, I can vibe with that which is what I like to think any colonists were setting out to do - and if they did this by exerting power over anyone else, then it's a no for me dawg.

Capitalism, ah, let's see...because of patriarchy and white supremacy, money is now used as power for only those select echelons of humans. What if we were to extract the cool pieces that benefit the entire world from capitalism and take it way back and create a new system that doesn't further segregate? We may be too far gone to reset because we're in late stage where money and power is the only thing that matters so it could be true that it all needs to implode ????♀? I dunno, we'll have to wait and see.

So, now that we've established the big systems that created today's workplace, let's talk about the people in them. Baby Boomers were raised by parents who survived the depression - so, right off the bat you have literal scarcity and lack because that was their true lived experience, which continued within BB era so that's how they felt safe creating and running the 9-5 workplace.

Gen X were raised by BB so they have this in their DNA and didn't quite feel the need to uproot quite yet so they kept it status quo, in order to feel safe themselves, to keep up their livelihood.

Then along come Millenials, also raised by BB, some Gen X but this time it's different...M's are reaching a point in their lives where they are returning to the virtue of what life has to offer beyond work and money. So, many of us "played the game" for the first part of our lives, now feeling "lost" in our 40's because we actually don't want to do the old way anymore but aren't sure how to integrate a new way without blowing up what exists today. (quick plug - this is my expertise as a coach).

Gen Z came out swinging, their capacity to process bullshit is at an all time low and I love their authenticity - they have high standards as humans and you can see through the generations how/when this evolved. We all started to get in on the joke that life isn't just about how much money and power you can accumulate. AND, because US business now runs on the old systems - to simply uproot them immediately would stop all business immediately and many economies would fall - some argue this needs to happen but that's not for me to judge.

So now, you have the 4 big generations in the workplace trying to keep it together and unfortunately from the top, this includes maintaining control.

The threshold for what Gen X and Millenial would endure in the workplace is pretty high because we were taught that we were paying dues and that everyone experienced it, to just suck it up.

Somewhere along the way, especially after pandemic, we said no. I want more, I want something different, I want to feel life, I want to care about more, I want to feel passion, I want to feel my feelings.

AND to live in this life we require money so that we can meet our basic needs. So, when the control from the top rears its head, it typically comes through as power over others and in many cases, they experienced abuse themselves, so they perpetuate more of the same because that's all they know how to do - that is their own comfort zone because no one taught them any differently.

This behavior, blended between the systems still in place from 100+ years ago and the generational expectations is how we've gotten to a place in which the workplace has become a world of sharp elbows, shark infested waters, and doing whatever it takes to retain self preservation - it's very literally every person for themselves - survival mode.

The interesting part about "how" we begin to dismantle is a much larger conversation but, it starts with each and every person questioning each and every decision/process/procedure that is within the BAU (business as usual) day to day. The question asked would look something like this - does this disproportionately impact any one type of person in particular, or does this support all types of people that populate this world.

It's both that simple, and that complex AND it's time to start - to consider that the way that we do business today simply does not work with today's culture (especially post-pandemic), the big 4 generations wildly different than the other, a wish to return to humane treatment for ALL walks of life, and that not one person on this planet has ever lived through and thrived after a worldwide pandemic.

It's time to re-think, it's time to dismantle, and it's time to help people to feel safe while they are earning a living - that is the mandate in this day and age, if you disagree, then you are the problem - and we have space for you to share your unique brilliance while we work to create an environment in which all people, all generations, all business process returns to humanity.

As people in charge, your role is to be clued in to the goings on while providing full autonomy for every single person in your charge to handle it, and for you to trust them completely - that is leadership.

I choose to begin with the Workplace Psychological Safety Act that will hold the employers accountable, moreover to be legally mandated to build in compliance to the code of conduct as to how individuals will treat one another in the workplace. From here, this will pave the way for the allowing of the deep rooted, antiquated, and harmful systems and procedures to be updated for 2024 and beyond.

Consider this question for yourself, and for others as you consider how to create the change you want to see - "how is my heart feeling"..."how is the person's heart who is sitting across from you". Whether you say this out loud or not, consider this as we propel into AI, a very helpful time saver allowing machines to speak to one another more efficiently AND that we will always need the human heart to weigh in to evolve the world for the future.

No matter how you spin it, we will always need the human heart, what might this look like for you in your day to day? A few tactical ways to eradicate any type of abuse in the workplace -

• build into compliance and code of conduct specific parameters around psychological abuse e.g. tonality, undermining, gaslighting, isolation, retaliation, institutional bias, discrimination of any kind, likability bias etc.
• carve out a team outside of HR that would guarantee action/protection for those who raise their hand receiving abuse - number one is a paid severance, guaranteed
• paid leave for the abuser, to develop a plan for them to get help and provide a space for them to do the internal work

I'll say this again, if you think the above are extreme, you are part of the problem AND I invite you to turn inward to understand why you feel it's extreme and consider the first time you experienced workplace abuse.