Work/Life Happiness Takes Work

I’m often asked, “how do you do it all?”. My answer to this complicated question is simple – I don’t do it all, and you shouldn’t think you need to either. 

When it comes to finding that balance everyone craves, there is no easy formula for success. We all have different circumstances and are faced with different choices in life. But, what keeps me centered when it comes to my family and my career – aside from my love of both – are these three “rules” that I have set for myself:

Make choices that align with your values – What is important to you and your family? In my house, Team Van Buskirk weighs in on all major career decisions that impact the family – like we did when we moved to the Northeast. We have a core set of values and goals that guide our decision making. When our first child was born, my husband and I chose to stop golfing and take up tennis, so we would have more time to spend at home. The same principles can be applied to everyday decisions in the office. If you place a high value on sticking to a 30-hour work week, then make it happen. But, make no mistake – there are consequences for every decision, so set your expectations accordingly. My golf game is embarrassing... and that's okay.

Set boundaries – I work out early in the morning and see my kids off to school (yes - I chose to buy a house close to the office). I treasure that little bit of time I use to stay fit and share moments with the ones I love. My assistant knows this and makes every effort to not schedule meetings before 8:30 a.m. This is one of the boundaries I set to keep me sane. I encourage you to set your own boundaries. Much of managing work and life is about boundary management.

Be fully present – Whether you’re making macaroons with your kid for a class project on France or delivering a presentation to your supervisor – give 100% of your attention to the moment. Maximize the time you have. Sometimes, this is easier said than done - especially with today's technology accessible everywhere at any time. You will do everything better, so work at it. You can do it. And, you already know it’s worth the effort. 

Finally, I'll tell you that even with these rules, at times balance will be impossible to achieve. That’s just a reality, and part of what makes life so fulfilling. There will be times when you need to prioritize a family matter above all else, and times when work will require all of your time and attention. Lean on those around you for support – and support others when they need help. 

There is no destination in this journey, it is part of our everyday lives. My advice - give yourself a break and just keep working at it. What matters most in our constant effort to find the right balance is what you do next, not what has already happened.