Work/Life Balance Doesn’t Exist! But Finding Harmony is Possible.

Recently I shared?my reflections on a milestone birthday , and I’m blown away by your response! It’s wonderful to see I’m not alone in feeling contemplative about the past but hopeful about the future, especially given the hardships of the last few years. Many of you are echoing my sentiments about re-prioritizing your time and energy to focus on what matters, and I’m happy to know we’re on this journey together!?

As I was thinking back to my younger days, it was both eye-opening and a little humorous to remember my “work-hard-play-hard” approach to life. Back then, building my career was my top priority, and when I wasn’t at work, I was busy trying to experience everything life had to offer. It was certainly exhausting! But it was also a time full of self-discovery and passion that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I was also thinking about how those priorities shifted after I got married and had kids. As I’m sure many of you can relate, my 30s and 40s were focused more on juggling my professional commitments with time spent at home. Although I never believed my schedule would be split 50-50, the idea of finding “work/life” balance was nevertheless on my mind.

Now that I’m entering a new stage of life, I’ve realized that “balance” isn’t really the end goal anyway. In fact, I don’t believe it even exists! The truth is we will always have demands that divide our time and attention, often unequally. And as our post-pandemic world continues to blur the lines between “work” and “life,” it’s clear we need a new approach to finding joy and fulfillment, even when our schedules are skewed.

True work/life balance is about finding harmony, not equity

There’s a good reason work/life balance is top of mind these days, especially as workplace burnout comes to the forefront.?LinkedIn's data ?reveals that complaints of burnout have increased 33% since 2020, and the pandemic has significantly shifted our collective views on time management. But when we look at the evolution of work/life balance itself, it’s plain to see the struggle has been there for decades.

Psychologists and management experts have been researching work/life balance since the 60s and 70s, when Baby Boomers first entered the workforce.?As Forbes points out , many of them were unfortunately encouraged to spend more time at work and away from their families. But this changed with Gen X, who faced an uphill battle to pioneer a healthier approach to life outside the cubicle.?Now that the torch is passing to Millennials and Gen Z, whose generations are increasingly?burdened by longer hours, lower pay and pandemic-related shutdowns , it’s easier to see why the search for balance has taken on a life of its own.

But today, society is moving away from the concept of “balance” altogether. In fact, ADP recently started using the term?“work/life integration” ?to convey our changing expectations of how we spend our time. Harvard Business Review describes it as a?“work/life cycle,” ?while other publications are calling it?“work/life harmony.” ?I think I like that version best!

Work/life harmony doesn’t require an equal investment of your time and energy or the sacrifice of life for work (or vice versa). Instead, a harmonious mindset lets you embrace work as just another part of life, allowing you to stay present in every moment, regardless of physical location or time demands. And I can say from my time of self-reflection that learning how to stay present has been key to improving mindfulness, gratitude, and joy in all areas of my life.

We can all find work/life harmony, even in a chaotic world

As we continue to grapple with the emotional and economic difficulties of our current reality, it’s obvious there are more hurdles than ever to finding harmony. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible!?From my experience, there are several lessons we can embrace to help us stay sane when life pulls us in different directions.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Life is genuinely hard! And as the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I know that when I prioritize my health and wellbeing, I’m happier and more productive in other areas of my life too. And what’s more, my family and co-workers notice the difference. As?mental health awareness and accommodations are increasingly normalized , I encourage you to take advantage of the options available to you. Whether it’s taking time off to let your brain fog clear or embracing mental health services to support your emotional needs, be selfish in your self-care! Don’t be afraid to share your challenges, ask for help and find solutions that work for you.??

2. Find a supportive environment.

Our careers?make?up a significant portion of our lives, which is why it’s essential to find a supportive space that?nurtures you. Obviously, it’s not always possible to remove ourselves from less-than-ideal environments, but I think we can all take a lead from Millennials and Gen Z and seek out opportunities where our time and happiness are?authentically valued and compensated. As much as possible, look for companies that pay you what you’re worth and give you the freedom to pursue your passions. And don’t hesitate to?lean on mentors ?or your personal advisory board who can guide you through difficult career decisions, so your professional progress isn’t stalled on your own path to harmony.

3.?Remember that you don’t have to do everything.

There’s always pressure to do it all,?especially for women . It often feels like society demands we excel in our careers while being perfect spouses and parents, active socialites, and fitness enthusiasts. This often leaves us feeling like failures when we don’t measure up. But there’s a reason why high performers have multiple assistants! We aren’t meant to tackle every challenge alone. Our time and energy will always be limited, and it’s not a weakness to get help when you need it. Whether it’s letting friends and family help you out at home or delegating more tasks at work, don’t be afraid to rely on your support system and find ways to simplify your life. Because the goal is to enjoy it! As the great Dolly Parton says, “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

What’s next?

If you’re in the same boat as me, you know that finding harmony is a constant work in progress. The more I think about the beauty of my life, the more I see how important it is to let go of impossible expectations and lean on each other in whatever ways we can. But even when we can’t find balance, we can still find happiness – even in our chaotic world. Let's embrace and support each other in this journey.

What’s your best work/life harmony advice??I’d love to hear how your priorities have changed and what you’re doing to foster happiness in our always-on world. Leave a comment and let me know!

Until Next Time,

Alyssa Fitzpatrick