Working through the fear of Mentorship

I resumed school this week.

As I sat anxiously waiting to meet my new classmates, something whispered, "You're supposed to be here."

My teacher and another woman from Japan arrived. There we were, a misfit girl band who would see each other every day for the next eight weeks.

As we introduced ourselves in Spanish, we learnt about our jobs and ages. I am the oldest, and my classmate is a full-time student. The teacher is from Mexico and over a decade younger than me.

So far, we've spent six hours together, and I've never hesitated to ask questions or be clear on what I did not understand.

As we celebrate #InternationalWomensDay, I want to replicate the scenario mentioned above by asking for help in the professional world. It doesn't come as naturally to me as in the classroom. The fear of rejection stems from a childhood where I was told, "...you ask too many questions."

In the Caribbean black culture, we're not as open to turning around and holding out a hand for the next generation. Instead, we hear, '...you had to walk one mile to school? Well, I had to walk ten more than you without shoes!'

No one wins at the Oppression Olympics.

Last month, I visited a new gynaecologist in Trinidad, and before I could finish answering her question about my age, she immediately blurted, "Let's talk about babies." To many, it seems like a natural conversation progression for someone whose world revolves around peddling babies. However, for me, it's another reminder as to how the world values my existence.

It's been fourteen years since I started my business in my living room, and I have doubts that need to be addressed by someone who has an idea of the loneliness that permeates through the air of entrepreneurship. However, the idea of asking for help floats over my imposter syndrome.

On International Women's Day, I am working through the unwanted thoughts and channelling the same energy I proudly exhibit in the classroom. I signed up for a mentorship program via the App Upnotch. I have my first 'Introductory call' in two weeks.

Fourteen years ago, I registered my business in Barbados with a clear goal of using digital content to help companies reach their customers. After multiple projects showcasing my team's ability to drive online behaviour, it feels like I have to work ten times harder than my male counterparts.

Regardless of my feelings, it's scientifically essential for humans to be heard. That's why I am working towards ignoring the negative self-talk and channelling that whisper, "You're supposed to be here."