Working remotely and guilt: Why you should not feel bad about taking a break and pushing back

Introduction

Anyone else feeling guilty about needing to take a break? I know I am, and increasingly I find myself under duress through death by meeting invite. Apparently now there is no need to check availability, its become a hit and miss jackpot on firing off an invite and trying to get the slot.

Here’s the rub though. In not making a meeting, it can reflect badly on you (or at least I feel incredibly guilty if I cant make a meeting), but at the same time, I am already in sessions / meetings. 

Simply, the demand outweighs the supply.

Therefore what I started to do is plan my week in advance. What I could do is allow 6 hours a day for meetings maximum. This would allow me 2-4 hours of actual work time, and / or breaks. But you see what I did there? I already subconsciously started to trade off taking a break to free up time to do work ‘offline’ (i.e. not in Zoom).  

So what can you do?

First and foremost – learn to say no. It’s a simple statement, a powerful one, but one that I feel needs to be learned. By default, most people wish to interact and build relationships, communicate, deliver, assist and help. Therefore, when we say no, it can leave someone (especially if you suffer from anxiety or similar) feeling rather low and affected, as if you have let someone down.

The reality is that if you cannot manage yourself effectively, you will ultimately be less effective in your work and less effective in helping others (i.e. closing out activities that require your input). By building a robust mindset to be able to say no, in a non conflictual way is key to ensuring you can both manage yourself, and manage expectations of others.

Below are just a few examples:

These are just a few of the tactics / approaches you can use to manage back expectations. However there is more that can be done to manage your time and manage your own self and health.

Saying no to work to take a break

This is the worst to me, I hate to say no when I need to rest / take some time away from the screen. However, this is one of the most critical parts to managing self and your own performance. What I have learned over the years, and certainly over lockdown in 2020 is the need to regularly try and step away from the PC. Whilst there is no perfect day / time do to this, I have now started to block some time in my calendar. 

When I do this, I actually try to do something to clear my mind, much like refreshing the RAM on a PC by rebooting! Getting outside if the weather permits to get some fresh air, have some silence and time to reflect on my work of the day really helps. Sometimes I also find that in giving myself some time, answers present themselves as I allow my conscious some space to process issues and find solutions.

Setting clear working parameters is also key. I no longer do meetings at 8am unless by exception when I have suggested it. I also try to have a cut off at 17:00 – not every day, if I choose or need to work later (for example last night I worked until 19:30) then I will, but those are exceptions, as opposed to the rule.

By setting parameters, I am also managing my energy levels and allowing my mind time to decompress from the working day, process and reprioritise for the next day, and allow myself respite to also give time for my personal health and family outside of work.

Recognise your limits

If you are unable to say no, during times where demand for your input outstrips supply, you risk burning out, increasing your risk of a mental health incident and finding yourself at dis ease – or disease – getting ill as a result of being run down. Therefore being aware of how you feel, recognising when you are reaching your limits (ideally before reaching burn out) is important, both for you, your work, and those around you.

Conclusion

• Saying no is a skill that needs to be learned, and practiced
• Saying no is not an attack, and you should tailor your message to be collaborative, but clear
• If someone says no to you, recognise that they are perhaps trying to develop their communication skills to say it better!
• Take time to recharge, else if you reach zero you will burn out – you should recognise this before you are fully spent
• Step away from your current surroundings for a period of time to reset
• Ensure you differentiate between work and home