Working with People Problems…

People can be difficult. ?

People cause problems only for a certain time.?

Often a person causing a problem becomes productive in a different situation.? Do not label people.

You identify problem people because they disrupt.? When we say that someone is a “problem person”, it means that they are ineffective in communicating or effective in disrupting.?

Identify the problem – not the “problem person”.

People are motivated by:

• A need to control (power motivation).
• A need to excel (achievement motivation).
• A need to bond (affiliation motivation).

The following are principles for dealing with people.? The key is, “Treat others as you want to be treated.”?

Assume that:

• People are intrinsically reasonable.
• People are creative if asked.
• People have different goals in life.
• People do not like to be blamed.
• People prefer the positive to the negative.
• People share similar fears.
• People respect when they are respected.
• People don’t want to be embarrassed.

When you encounter people problems, determine what is motivating them and work to correct what the cause.? If you cannot correct the cause, then:

1. Mitigate the symptom by Enforce ground rules in meetings, standing near them, or using eye contact.
2. Talk to the person privately. Don’t attack, “You have been distracting.? What is your problem?”? You won’t get a useful response.? Instead, say, “I noticed something is bothering you.? What is happening?”
3. Enlist the assistance of someone else who has a rapport with the person.
4. As a last resort, have the problem person removed. ?A “problem person” can disrupt the entire team.? Note: You will have to ask for permission to do so.

In a Virtual Meetings, you cannot use eye contact or body positioning to work with the people.? The key tool you use is Active Listening.? Don’t be afraid to schedule breaks in a Virtual Meeting so that you can privately call and talk to the person or someone to assist.

Characteristics

What to Do

The Latecomer

Always comes in late, makes a “show” of arrival, insists on “catching up” disrupting the meeting midstream.

Enforce punctuality norm; do not allow the Latecomer to disrupt the meeting.?Talk to during break.

The Early Leaver

Drains the group’s energy and morale by leaving earlier than expected.

Handle as you would the Latecomer.

The Broken Record

Brings up the same issue repeatedly; constantly tries to focus discussion on his or her issue, preventing the group from getting ahead.

The Broken Record needs to be heard.? Paraphrase the issue and post it as an Open Item (write it down) to discuss later.? Refocus the discussion of the task at hand.

The Doubting Thomas

Skeptical and cynical; doubts if the process will work.

Do not defend the process.? Acknowledge the concern, “I hear what you are saying, but since we are already here, why don’t we give it a chance and see what happens?”? Elicit cooperation, “In the meantime, I need your cooperation.”

Chronic Naysayer

Aggressively negative.? Always “bursts the bubble” by saying something like “That will never work.” Note: The Chronic Naysayer can disrupt an entire meeting if not dealt with right away.

Confront the Chronic Naysayer, “I hear what you are saying.? What will make it work?”? Insist that he or she offer a positive solution (write it down immediately if they do) or say, “Give it a chance and see what happens.”?

The Whisperer(s)

Constantly whispering or holding “offside” conversations during the meeting.?Upstages you as well as other group members.

Stand close to the Whisperer(s).? It will stop their conversation.? Enforce one conversation at a time Norm.

The Head Shaker

Actively expresses disapproval through nonverbal cues, i.e., rolling eyes, shaking head, crossing and uncrossing arms, sighing, etc.? Covertly influences group to reject an idea.

Confront the head shaker.? Do not allow these nonverbal cues to continue.? Ask him or her to verbally express his or her opinion.

The Dropout

Sits away from the group; expresses disapproval or dislike by ignoring the proceedings; may read, do unrelated paperwork, etc., to avoid getting engaged.?

Use your “lasered focusing” to let him or her know that you see what he or she is doing.? Do not publicly ask for participation.? Talk to during a break.? Do not allow it to continue.?

The Loudmouth

Talks out of turn; dominates the discussion; may be someone who has a higher rank than other group members.

Direct conversation away from him or her by standing in front of the person for a short time.? Talk to during break.

The Back-Seat Driver

Keeps telling the Facilitator what to do – or not do; attempts to control the meeting by downgrading your efforts.

Listen to the comments – they may be good; do not turn over control; keep focused.? Talk to during breaks; enforce roles.

The Attacker

Launches verbal, personal attacks on group members and/or you; constantly ridicules the views of a specific person or group.

Stand between the attacker and other group member to stop subtle and not so subtle attacks.? Add additional norms to control.? Use Active Listening to understand the real issue

The Interpreter

Always speaks for someone else, usually without invitation to do so; restates ideas and frequently distorts it in the process.

Get the original speaker to confirm without embarrassing or putting the interpreter on the spot.

The Gossiper

Brings hearsay or rumors into the meeting; attempts to shift power by appearing to be the “authority”; moves group towards argument or debate over the “truth” of the information.

You may have to take a break to get substantiation; allow others in the meeting to confirm or deny; set Norm to leave hearsay and rumors out of the meeting.

The Know-it-All

Uses credentials, seniority, etc., to argue a point; focuses group on opinion and status as opposed to the “real” issue.

Capture his/her ideas as some are valid.? Discuss with group without naming who contributed the idea – it belongs to the entire group.?

The Busybody

Always ducking in and out of the meeting, does not hold calls, tries to give impression of being too “busy” to devote full attention to the meeting.

Do not allow the Busybody to disrupt the meeting.? Set clear Norms and consequences if it continues.

The Interrupter

Interrupts discussions and cuts off someone else’s comments; feels impatient, too concerned that own ideas won’t be acknowledged.

Stop the Interrupter immediately; always get back to him or her but do not allow him or her to interrupt.

The Jealous Follower

The Jealous Follower wants your job and may do whatever is necessary to take control.

Handle as you would The Back Seat Driver.

The Teacher’s Pet

Spends more time and energy trying to win Facilitator’s approval than on contributing; can potentially “hook” you into giving “strokes” at the expense of others.

Rearrange seating so that he or she is sitting away from you; be careful about hurting their feelings; direct their enthusiasm towards the task at hand.

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