A working parent's guide to winding down and finding joy over the holiday season
Andrea Barr
Career Coach for Parents | Speaker & Workshop Facilitator | Host of "All Figured Out" ???
You have two ways to enjoy the information in this article!
How do you find and maintain JOY during the wild and exciting holiday season? As a working parent, you have a lot on your plate already, so I’ve got 6 quick strategies for you to try out so you can be more present and spend quality time with those you love.
1. Find joy in holiday preparations:
Preparing for the holiday season can be really fun and a huge creative outlet. Try not to let the preparations add to your “must-do” list. Prioritize what you actually want to take part in, and carve out time to intentionally do those things so you can enjoy them, versus checking them off the list.?
2. Find joy (and organization) in wrapping up your work before the holidays:
I have experienced both ends of this equation. There are a couple of years that I can remember where I did such a great job of wrapping up my work for the new year:
These preparations allowed me to totally unplug over the holiday season. A true reset to come back fresh in the new year!
And then…there are many years that were the opposite. It was pure work carnage before and during the holidays, resulting in little to no time off. I was sending emails, pushing campaigns live, replying to emails.
Talk about a lack of boundaries and a lack of preparation.
So do whatever you can. And don't try to boil the ocean. Don't feel like you have to do all the things all at once. Like I always say with clients, what's the first step? What are the first three things that you can do? And what are the things like Taylor Aller shared, on Episode 2, that can be put on the “not yet list”.
Think of this prep work in two camps:
Doing what you can to avoid the post holiday scaries does just as much for your future self, as it does for the anticipatory self. Try it out!
3. Finding joy while hosting over the holidays (or any time of year!):
I grew up in a house where my parents hosted so much we always had people around; I’m talking a minimum of 18 to 25 person Christmases and Thanksgivings. I really got a crash course, and huge appreciation and love, for hosting.
Now that I have my own family, I’m figuring out what hosting looks like for us; especially now that we have a child thrown into the mix!
THE BASICS:
So like my family always does, set the table first.?
It's like productivity 101, where you ensure that you're at least completing your must do items before getting to the nice to dos.?
What you know will need to get done are things like:
What you don’t need to do:?
Walk back from when your company is arriving and make a bit of a plan for the sequencing and what has to get done. My neighbour actually uses a chalk board in her kitchen to time her more elaborate cooking escapades: genius!
MAKE A GAME PLAN WITH YOUR PARTNER AND KIDS:
Having people around should be fun! And it’s not fun to get in some sort of conflict with your partner and/or kids just before company arrives. So go through a plan of attack together. Bonus points if you use your adult communication skills to have a dialogue versus barking orders. And that's something that we learned in Episode 4 on figuring out how to build stronger relationships and communication tools as parents with Ann Visser.
The benefit of this, apart from not getting in a fight, is reducing the mental load of hosting. You can focus on your task list, and you have to let go of everything else. It might even allow you to sit and chill in the minutes before people arrive.
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4. Finding joy while traveling with kids:
We have been able to travel a few times now with our daughter, and even traveled over the Christmas holidays last year. There are many lists? that I consulted, and a lot of trial and error. Here are some of the ones that I’ll be remembering most for future trips.
BORROW:
My friend and I do this all the time before one of us is going on a warm vacation: we go over to the other person’s house, and raid their closet for summer clothes for both us and our kids. It’s fun, it's economical, it’s more sustainable!
PACKING FOR A TRIP WITH KIDS:
A routine that we started doing has been to create a “staging area”. It started out as a pile on a chair in our bedroom. With three of us now, it‘s graduated to a corner of my office. It’s not sexy, but it does the trick and has made packing much less chaotic in our household.
This one is very basic: when you think of something quite niche that you want to bring on your holiday adventures, and don’t want to forget it (and don’t need it right now), toss it in the “staging area”. When it comes time to pack? You’re halfway there!
There are a million other places to find fun tips for packing for a trip with kids, here are a few good ones:
MAKE THE DAY BEFORE AND DAY OF TRAVEL AS STRESS-FREE AS POSSIBLE:
The final tip I have for finding joy in traveling over the holidays with kids is to make the day before or the day of travel as relaxing as possible. It should be the finishing touches day
5. Finding joy in the chaos of the holiday season:
Feeling chaotic, a bit overwhelmed, a bit…ahh!!!! Remember: this too shall pass, and these are the memories you’ll be remembering.
You’ll remember the funny stories about what your friends and family members have done (the mishaps mainly). But you’ll also remember how you felt. A lot of details are lost, but how you felt and how you showed up will stick with you. As best you can, try to sink into the chaos and remember that you will be able to get back to your routine of healthy eating (ish) and working out, very very soon.?
6. Finding joy in the post holiday season:
This is kind of like the conclusion of the Hallmark movie (2022 top list can, and should be viewed, here ?? ).?
I think finding joy in the post holiday season is just as important as any other point on this list!
But it's kind of like the old strategy of already knowing when your next time off work is, when you’re currently on vacation: critical.
A few ways you can do that:
Whatever you are doing this holiday season, wherever you will be and however you are feeling, I’m sending all my light and love to you. Excited for a new year of figuring it all out with you!
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Andrea Barr is an ICF Certified Career Coach who works with parents. She helps clients achieve new career heights while protecting time with their families.
Learn more here.