The working parent mealtime struggle and 3 tips to tackle it

Note: If you work at Microsoft, join our nutrition talk in Microsoft Teams. Search for “Nutrition Geeks”, it’s a public team open to all Microsoft employees and v- vendors.

Having majored in Biotechnology, I know very well that who we are (or phenotype) is a result not only of our genetic constitution (or genotype), but also our environment. By environment I mean where we grow up, how we grow up, who are our influences, what do we have access to, etc. In other words: our biology is not our destiny. As we struggle with learning how to be working parents, I couldn’t help but wonder: are we prioritizing convenience over nurture?

I gotta tell you, it all clicked while I was reading Burkhard Bilger’s article for The New Yorker: Open Wide. “Human beings will eat damn near anything, it seems. You just have to start them young.” As I dug deeper within my own beliefs, it seems like I knew about this a long time ago but honestly, planning, cooking, and feeding nutritious foods to a baby is like having a second and more stressful full-time job. So the story I told myself was: frozen veggie patties? At least it’s veggies, and they’re organic! But let’s be honest, the main reason I like those patties is that they take one minute to prep in the microwave. Plus, they have just enough fat for anyone to like them, I don’t get a baby tantrum, and they actually taste good. It definitely looks like a parent win-baby win situation…at least in the short term. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that frozen food is always bad or inappropriate, there’s a time and place for everything. But, remember that “palate training” is a thing. We learn to eat what we’re given to eat and that education begins before we’re born, says Bilger. I can attest to that and not just because I’ve been eating spicy food since I was a toddler. I decided to take this on as a personal challenge and test if I could actually be the baby’s boss instead of the baby’s subject. After what seemed like ages of “suffering”, flying food, and scary tantrums, it finally worked. My baby willingly picked up a piece of deliciously seasoned broccoli from my plate and put it in his mouth. Then he took the next piece. Yes, I had a frozen patty already warmed up as a backup plan just in case things went awry again…but to my surprise, they finally didn’t. In case you don't believe me, and also to show off, my baby's picture of that precious winning moment is below.

After a good amount of practicing, reading, and learning from great minds, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. So, I wanted to share these three working-parent friendly tips in case you, like me, have some sort of remorse about how convenient those frozen patties are. I tried to follow them religiously and finally have a sometimes-broccoli-eating baby.

1)    Do it for 10 times. If all of the sudden you were trying a food with an unfamiliar texture, weird color, or new flavor, unless it’s very sugary you’d probably dislike it too. The psychologist Leann Birch found more than ten years ago that to like a vegetable, children have to try it again and again, sometimes 10 times or more. Be patient and offer new healthy foods to your kids for at least 10 times (1). It’s probably going to be 10 stressful and messy times, but they will pay off. To make this working-parent friendly, have a backup plan and do not attempt this during days of high stress (unless that’s most days). The backup plan could be saltines, a veggie patty, oatmeal, cottage cheese, a banana, etc.

2)    Show them who you want them to be. Remember we are, in a large part, the result of our environment. If your kids see you eating, doing, or behaving in a certain way, they are likely going to adopt those traits sooner or later. For working parents, practicing mealtime “mirroring” could be easier if adult dinner schedules match the kids’ schedules. If they can’t match, try to have the kids see you eat the same foods you offer them. Also, think about having your kids participate in your mealtime prep routines or even helping grow some veggies in your garden.

3)    Get your diet right. Better to be blunt than polite here, if your diet sucks, your kids’ will too. A diet that is primarily composed of processed foods, foods high in added sugar, and/or foods high in saturated fat is, in most cases, not a good diet. By the way, the American Heart Association recommends children less than two years of age not have access to any added sugars, which includes any sweeteners that don't naturally occur in food. It doesn’t matter how many times you offer the food or how much you model your behavior, if your kid is mirroring a poor diet, you’re not setting her up for success. Hey, I love donuts and pizza more than I should too, but there is a time and place for everything. None of us have to ever give up the pleasure of delicious foods, we just have to eat them in the right proportion. For working parents, a healthier diet could start with meal planning. Plus, if your budget allows, buying pre-chopped and washed veggies to save time with prepping to simply season and roast goes a long way.

We put tons of effort on where our kids go to school, who they hang out with, and what expletives they utter, but somehow when it comes to mealtime convenience takes over. Do not let convenience win…or at least not all the time.

Let me know your working parent and mealtime stories! I would love to connect and hear your thoughts.

Happy eating!

Nydia

Note: If you work at Microsoft, join our nutrition talk in Microsoft Teams. Search for “Nutrition Geeks”, it’s a public team open to all Microsoft employees and v- vendors.

P.S. A big shout out to Burkhard Bilger at The New Yorker for amazing journalism, and to Susan Johnson, Julie Mennella, and Saskia Sorrosa for their contributions to the article and frankly, the world. Also, thank you to Susan LeMotte at CNN Health for the valuable stats in her article.