Working Mom Life through Covid-19

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times. It is HARD being a working mom. To be completely honest, being a mom in general is such a hard job. Not only do we rent out our bodies for 9 months to grow actual human beings – we then nourish these humans for months/years, we physically change (hair falls out, nails grow super strength, skin loosens, gain weight) and then…every.single.thing we do for the rest of that humans little life is shaping the adult and person they become. No pressure or anything.

Today, there are many variations of a working mom, none of them easier or better than the next. You have your full time, stay at home mom. There’s the stay at home working mom. There is part time, out of the house working moms and then the full time, out of the house working moms. I am in that last category. It’s one that I enjoy and what works best for my family. I’ve always enjoyed working and when I became a mom, I always knew I would continue to work full time. As time went on, I added another kid to the mix (you know, just because things weren’t wild enough), took a promotion and eventually, turned into a complete crazy person. 

Finding a work/life balance has sometimes been a struggle. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be “the best.” I want to run faster, win more, and always beat you.  I want to be the coach, the volunteer, and the businesswoman. It’s the athlete and the competitor in me. As the years have gone by, I’ve been more realistic with myself and realize that by working outside the home as a sales executive, I have to pick and choose where I spend my time. I can’t make the meeting across the country and volunteer for the school library day. That’s not my reality and that’s ok. I felt like I was getting better at understanding that I cannot be everything to everyone all the time. Now…let’s fast forward to March 2020. Covid-19 strikes.

It really felt like I was living in a movie the day they made the announcement that my state closed school…for the rest of the year. My heart literally started to speed up as tears welled in my eyes. I looked next to me at my 9-year-old son whose lips were quivering. We both started crying. I knew that we had a rough road ahead and he was worried about missing his friends and great teacher. “How am I going to do this??” I kept asking myself. The first few days of our “new normal” I felt like a superhero. Schedules intact, packed lunches for all, moving this freight train down the tracks per usual. Then last week, our routine shook. I got emotional. The realness of this hit my life. I started to hear of many friends who had now lost their jobs, jobs they loved and were good at, because of COVID-19 and the affect it’s having in business. As I cried, spent countless hours on the phone, and plowed through work…I let my kids watch 1,000 episodes of Bunk’d just so they didn’t interrupt me. I shoved endless snacks at them to avoid full blown meals or questions. The guilt was STRONG and my patience was borderline non-existent. This went on for a few days and then I had to stop myself. I’ve always been a strong woman and knew that this is not the example I want to show my kids in adversity. “I am woman, hear me roar” has ran through my head countless times over the last few weeks. After reflection, conversation, and maybe a glass or two or wine…I decided that I would not let this change me. I can’t. It’s time to put on the lipstick, even in the workout clothes that are my daily uniform and embrace the day. I can’t do it all. I accepted that years ago so why am I putting so much pressure on myself in these hard times? I never wanted to be a 1st or 3rd grade teacher so why did I think I could do this as well as their actual teachers, while maintaining a full career and trying to cook meals that aren’t out of a microwave 3x a day? Realization can be a b*tch but it can also be invigorating. I will get through this. My kids will get through this. One day, we’ll laugh about that time “mom was a crazy lady during Covid and tried to teach us and take conference calls and threatened us 1459 times a day to be quiet.”

This week, I decided we will learn. We will work. We will smile. We will survive. AND…I will shower Every.Single.Day

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