Working with Difficult staff

Let’s recollect that difficult conversation where you just felt extreme anger and rage and yet you couldn’t do anything about it???? That day you felt that you should fire this person but still you couldn’t do it??? Do you have any such memories that you can go back to where you felt that a member of your STAFF should not be a part of your team anymore and should be sacked immediately??

I’m sure we all have such experiences and can relate to such incident where we felt that such difficult conversations should have been closed with HR or possible termination and an example for others so that it doesn’t get repeated. But before we make this decision, let’s just hold back this thought and see if we can do something about it?? Do you think we could have done anything better in this situation?? Do you think the situation could have been managed better? Do you think that was the best possible outcome of the situation??

No not really because I’m sure if we go back and re visit the previous interactions and confrontations with that individual we will find that we have (maybe not intentionally) let him/her down resulting in this behavior. May be there has been lack of clarity in communication or execution resulting where we have over promised and under delivered without letting the individual know or giving a proper justification resulting in this outrageous behavior that has left the entire relation sour. Remember, Now this could get contiguous too and spread some serious negative thoughts about you where you may feel that your behavior is perfect but that may not be in the best of interest for all (Staff, You and Organization). So what can one do to be able to manage these situations better and ensure that we do not hamper our work relations, we are able to maintain a strong communication bond with your staff and ensure that you maintain a co-ordial relation with all your employees. They feel empowered, motivated, engaged and Inclusive.

Handling the difficult conversation requires skill and empathy, but ultimately, it requires the courage to go ahead and do it. The more you get into the habit of facing these issues squarely, the better you will become at it.

Below are some Best practice sharing example of how some really good people managers that I have been interacting with deal with such situations effectively and successfully and maintaining a strong people connect at the same time.

? Know “what and why do you want?” : This is a source of your discussion. Out here you are expected to prepare the reasons for your discussion. What do you wish to get out of this conversation? What should the desired outcome look like? What are the areas that you wish to discuss and the outcomes you would like to achieve? Once this is decided, think how will you get the other person to agree to it? What are the possible objections you can expect during the conversation? What could be the possible challenges and what will the possible suggestion/ work around be for it? What will be your contribution? What are you willing to do to help the cause?

? Details about the current situation: Before you step into the discussion room, it’s important to spend some time understanding the root cause of the current situation/ challenge at hand. Think about the exact behavior that is the area of concern? Then, spend time to understand Impact that the behavior is having on you, the team or the organization?"

? Understand Why This Is Important To You: By asking a simple question like – “What’s the worst possible outcome I can expect by not having this conversation? How much can this impact Me, My team and the Organization?

? Choose the location to have the conversation: It’s extremely important to hold the meeting in a neutral place such as a meeting room where you can sit adjacent to each other and have a positive dialogue.

? Be Inquisitive: Your mindset will decide the outcome of the interaction. Hence it’s extremely important to be the positive and right MINDSET before you get into the conversation. Right mindset will initiate right responses and ensure that the conversation progresses in the right direction where it leads to mutual benefit at the end.

? Step into Their Shoes: In order to create a Win-Win situation it’s extremely important to step into the other person’s shoes and see what could happen? What could be the situation then? How could that be different? What could be possible emotions/ feelings/ actions/ words driving the behavior in that situation?

? Be Empathetic: It’s important to focus on the expected outcome and if it means to have a WIN-WIN situation then it becomes critical to ensure that you ADD value through respectful conversation leading to a positive closure for ALL.

? Only Relate to Facts: Ensure that you stick to facts and do not make any assumptions about the situation/ behavior in concern. With respect to approach, put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about how you'd want someone to approach you. What would they say and how would they say it?

? Be Emotionally In control: Being the initiator it’s your responsibility to ensure that you manage the emotions in the discussion. Being respectful will only add value to the overall conversation.

? Be comfortable with silence: Regular pause throughout the conversation will help the thoughts to sink in and a positive conversation to proceed. Hence, do not sit back explaining. Instead wait back and let the thoughts ponder create an environment of positive influence.

? Mutual Respect: Being respectful always helps. Try not to be critical or make any personal comments as this will only hamper the entire conversation.

? Develop your conflict resolution skills: Work on a Win –Win situation that will only help you both to achieve the desired outcome.

? Willing to change approach: If during the conversation you realize that there has been an action that could have created/ resulted in the situation it’s extremely important for you to own up and be open to change.

? Take Accountability: Using ‘I’ statements not only avoids any critical remarks but also creates space for open conversation and ownership to help deal with the situation in a mutually constructive manner.

? Be Accommodating: The intent should be to create agreements through empathetic listening and avoiding any pre decided negative assumptions about the person or the situation.

Again, these are certain actions that get done while or just before a difficult conversation. However, these can be avoided by ensuring that we not only have a good 2 way communication system in place. But also ensure that we a strong system to avoid conflicts:

1. Appreciation

Do create an environment where everyone feels heard, understood and valued for your point of view.

2. Affiliation

Create a strong bond with all your staff and include them in decision making.

3. Status

Ensure that all staff is treated with respect.

4. Unbiased approach

Create a clear approach where bias should be avoided.

5. Role clarity

Everyone should have a clear and defined role to ensure that a consistent approach is maintained.

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