Working Dad ??
Over a recent family holiday, I had a chance to unwind and reflect on what it means to be a working dad.
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Part of me writes these pieces to share my journey with others, but I also write them for myself to capture the lessons learned along the way. I think back to my own childhood, eagerly awaiting my dad's return each afternoon and the joy of being around him.
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My son will be five this year, and it has been a fun, emotional, and crazy ride. Raising a little man can be tricky, and I am sure everyone has their own experiences and key learnings.
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Am I a working dad or a dad working? Honestly, depending on what day of the week you ask me, my job or my son is my priority. . That is not to say that one or the other suffers, but juggling a busy job and being a dad is tricky. I'm often up at 5 am and get to bed late. This was never unusual for me, but how I spend my hours has changed.
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Finding balance took time, but I've learned some invaluable lessons over these last few years.
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Children will eat when they want to eat. I learned this the hard way. The concept of "I need to eat lunch or dinner" does not really apply here. If my son is not hungry, he will not eat, period. I have learned to let him be and enjoy the time we spend at the dinner table rather than forcing him to eat.
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A child seeks connection, not attention. My son often sits next to me when I work at home. At first, I would try to sit him in front of the TV while I got on with work. This approach did not work. Now, he is happy to sit next to me and play or draw while I work. He now asks, "Dad, can I watch you work?" He wants to connect and be part of my day.
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We all know that children copy you. They learn from your emotions and how you express yourself. I often overlooked the fact that my son was aware of my every move, watching and learning. It is important for me to be aware of how my actions affect his upbringing.
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Work gets in the way, and children get in the way. There are lots of hours in the day, and trying to fit it all into a short period of time is not going to work. Some things can wait.
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Some people who don't have kids don't understand those who do. I was one of them. Now, I am on the other side of the fence, and I totally get it. I don't ever expect someone to accommodate me just because I have kids. I have learned always to be respectful and grateful when someone gives you their time or is accommodating so you can get family stuff done.
I strive now to:
Decide on my values.
As simple as it may sound, just do it. Try to balance your time with whichever family member needs the most attention at the moment. Clearly define what you value most, and decide how to balance work and life.
Make my time intentional.
Be intentional about time. Whether at work or at home, be fully present. If you are all in at work, you can be effective and efficient. When you're at home, be all there. Your family should be the most important people in your life. Treat them that way. This is one of the most important lessons that I have learned so far.
Communicate with my partner.
Forming your work schedule around your family is a sign of love and respect, whereas forming your family time around your work is an act of neglect.
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9 个月Being a working dad myself (of two very high energy children) and with a wife/mum that also has a demanding job, I can totally relate to this. I have so much respect for those that are stretched to their limits, trying to balance the colliding worlds of work and parenthood. But more importantly, for those working parents who also manage to be present for their little ones as much as possible. I don't find it easy, especially when you're pulled in so many directions with the demands of work, but it's certainly something I'm more conscious of nowadays. My five year old daughter certainly isn't afraid to pull me up on it!