Working For Assholes Messing Up Your Life And Career? Protect Yourself Using This Way-Out Strategy, Starting Today!
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” —Sigmund Freud
When I started my career in Investment Banking, the first feedback my boss gave me was:
“You’re too nice person to succeed in Finance.”
He didn’t say that in a malicious way.
In fact, he wanted to help me.
So in the following months, I toughen up.
Perhaps a bit too much.
A few months later, I was asked to interview fresh graduates looking to get their first job in Banking.
I still remember a guy leaving the room with tears coming to his eyes — after I put him under so much psychological pressure.
To some, I become a jerk.
To others, I become a ruthless guy performing the job to the highest standards.
After all, if the graduate could not survive a one-hour interview, how would we expect him to handle the constant pressure of working in a front-office job?
Jerk or ruthless: there is a fine line between the two.
And without clear boundaries, it becomes a problem.
As we progress in our careers, those who suddenly start having power over others can misjudge it and behave like jerks or, worst, assholes.
I have witnessed many situations of good people being unjustified ‘put down’ by their superiors just because ‘they didn’t go with her face’.
This fight for dominance is more perversive among senior people who stop learning?—?and use their power to their will without much thinking about the consequences.
Let’s, for a moment, call them The Powerful Assholes.
Here’s the most crucial lesson for dealing with such a specimen.
So… what can you do?
This is one of the biggest paradoxes that anyone can face — and I’ve witnessed many careers being destroyed by not playing the game strategically.
1. What The 10-mins LinkedIn Courses Are NOT Teaching You
“Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.” —Arthur Bloch, author of The Murphy’s Law book.
Power, dominance and self-interest prevail the most in the harsh reality of financial markets.
Make no mistake.
You might be an expert on:
But without mastering the art of:
You will let your guard wide open to failure, confused about why your efforts are not paying off:
Do NOT expect to learn how to manage Powerful Assholes in a LinkedIn 10-mins course.
It is a lifetime of learning — with many setbacks, failures, and moments of despair.
Lesson #1: Dealing With Powerful Assholes Is A Lifetime Learning Experience.
It can be liberating to think this way:
2. The Misleading “Moralistic Assholes” Of The Leadership Industry
I’ve learned many lessons about protecting myself from Powerful Assholes during my 18 years working in Finance.
One lesson that will save you time and energy is to avoid falling for the endless outdated leadership models the leadership industry tries to indoctrinate you with.
Maybe such models work fine in different contexts.
But, in Finance, the assumptions underlying such models are somewhat na?ve, ignoring humans’ self-interested and irrational behaviours.
“The leadership industry defines things in an unrealistic way, setting unrealistically high standards that then become something people can’t achieve. And that exaggerates the gap that already exists.”—Karen May, Google’s People Development.
In particular, be wary of those who try to sell such models from a sense of moral superiority.
“There is a lot of hypocrisy in those who write these books and describe them and their characteristics as a leader which bear almost no resemblance to their actual behaviour.”?—Jeffrey Pfeffer, author of BS Leadership
Lesson #2. A (Moralistic) Asshole Is The One Who Believes S/He Has Never Been An Asshole Before.
Moralistic Assholes believe in having the truth on their side, using evidences to prove their beliefs.
They are unwilling to understand the deeper psychological roots of Powerful Assholes.
It becomes a battle between two specimens of Assholes, both losing the war — with the rest of us witnessing such a pathetic demonstration of power.
Is there an alternative?
3. A Philosophical Approach To Powerful Assholes
“We are our choices.” ―Jean-Paul Sartre, Nobel Prize (declined)
Existentialism is a philosophical approach to life that I personally resonate with some of its doctrines.
Not all, but some.
It has helped me through some rough times in my life.
The existentialists believe we can never fully escape our past, but we have the power to?transcend?it.
We may carry a burden from our past.
But we can reinvent, recreate, and reimagine ourselves.
Transcend ourselves from situations we get trapped into.
Today, you work for Powerful Assholes; tomorrow, it can be different.
You define you!
Lesson #3: To Outmanoeuvre Powerful Assholes, Start Reinventing Yourself.
But existentialism also asserts that we make decisions based on subjective meaning instead of pure reason.
Thus, we must understand the hidden psychological forces that drove us to where we are.
Doing so makes us better equipped to use strategies to untrap us.
“I don’t believe we’re going to change the situation that exists in the world without understanding the psychological and sociological dynamics. We need to understand where the toxic behaviour comes from, understand the rules of the game. “―Jeffrey Pfeffer.
Let’s explore the environment that enables assholes to flourish.
4. The Growth Mindset Of An Asshole
“What does not kill you, makes you stronger.” —Nietzsche
There are two crucial elements to succeed in your career:
You may have the necessary skills, but if your personality does not fit the environment, you will struggle to climb the ladder.
Add to that the fact that many institutions promote assholes who perform exceptionally well while being selfish and untrustworthy.
This problem has been eloquently explained here by Simon Sinek.
Faced with such a reality, a new joiner to the finance industry has two choices:
Coincidentally, these two approaches are closely related to a fixed vs growth mindset.
“Employers usually look for adaptability when hiring new staff, and the skill is often included in job descriptions because of its importance for growth within a role. Someone demonstrating adaptability in the workplace is flexible and has the ability to respond effectively to their working conditions —?even if things don’t go as planned.” —Mark Wheatley, EY
And that is indeed the exact problem with the financial markets.
Things?rarely?go as planned!
When they don’t, the stakes are high, and demand for ruthless, cold-blooded decisions is a must.
Performance is what matters the most in such instances.
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So you can begin to see the problem with importing “out-of-touch” idealistic leadership models from different contexts.
The industry is driven mainly by the saying:
“Money talks, bullshit walks”.
Lesson #4: Be Adaptable, But Be Wary Of What You Are Adapting To.
How far is the environment responsible for the creation of Powerful Assholes?
Let’s dive for a moment into the case of Bitcoin.
5. Bitcoin: An Example Of Assholism Creation
“To be considered a ‘loser’ in this dog-eat-dog world is a compliment of the highest order.” —Marty Rubin, Author of The Boiled Frog Syndrome.
As a former Bitcoin Believer, you may know my stand on Bitcoin from previous articles.
In summary, my point is that Bitcoin protocols — those orthogonal to the concept of Blockchain technology — were designed to create an environment that resembles the “biggest fool” game theory.
Its primary purpose was to create a viral network effect, which it did!
But Bitcoin in itself is not the problem.
It just exacerbates a bigger issue within our society.
The selfish and individualistic mentality that arises from a “dog-eat-dog” system.
Lesson #5: When Playing A Game, Understand The Rules That Will Change Your Behaviour.
Therefore, it shouldn’t be surprising to learn from a study that Bitcoin appeals to many sociopaths.
“A common reason to invest in crypto is the hope of earning high returns. Beyond the desire to build wealth, our research shows dark personality traits also drive crypto buying (...) The reckless nature of psychopaths makes them more resistant to stress and anxiety. As a result, psychopaths like stimulation-seeking and risk-taking. They are prone to gambling and gambling addiction.”
What the study has failed to show was a thorough comparative analysis.
Perhaps it shed more light on Bitcoin than on corporate corridors where office politics are played out.
We still wait for the day when we can truly measure the percentage of corporate psychos occupying top positions.
6. The Competition Trap
“Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.” —Richard Nixon
Your success in the finance industry depends on your adaptation to an environment that demands you to be highly competitive, ruthless and cold-blooded.
The portrayal of such reality can be found in many books.
One of them is “Cityboy”, by Geraint Anderson, a former equities analyst.
He raised the alarm among finance professionals of falling into a competition trap.
Due to a fixation on the “Winners Win & Losers Loss” culture, the industry captures ambitious individuals who want to prove something to themselves.
Being ambitious is crucial to your success.
But when we let that become a vehicle for trapping ourselves in a meaningless chase for status, it can be destructive.
“Our unhappiness derives from the average Cityboy’s competitive mentality and subsequent ‘status anxiety’ since there’s always some wanker further up the food chain who makes you feel small in comparison.” —Geraint Anderson
Therefore, it is crucial to understand our motivation drivers.
If such a need to compete is hiding something more profound.
“Only this carefully nurtured and desperate will to win catalysed by deep feelings of insecurity can explain why City workers are willing to get up at 5.30 a.m. every day and work seventy-plus-hour weeks when life is short and clearly not a dress rehearsal. Content, secure people just wouldn’t have the drive to put themselves through that kind of nonsense.“ —Geraint Anderson
High self-awareness prevents you from becoming the next Powerful Asshole in the industry.
“I can’t really picture the notoriously chilled Dalai Lama sitting at his pad in Dharamsala telling every joker who turns up to see him how superfly he is. He leaves that sort of horseshit to insecure buffoons like Simon Cowell or Kanye West.” —Geraint Anderson
But if deep down you have some secret admiration for certain specimens of Powerful Assholes… perhaps that says something about why you ended up working for one!
Or maybe something else is going on — an unconscious belief driving your career choices.
Lesson #6: Be Brutally Honest With Yourself.
I’m NOT saying this to make you feel bad.
I was in that place before.
And it was only when I fully recognised it?—?being brutally honest with myself?—?that I stopped making the same mistakes repeatedly.
This is not to say you should give up your Finance career.
Not at all!
But you might be asking...
7. What Is The Way Out?
"Above all, don't lie to?yourself." —Dostoevsky
If you expected to get a Golden Strategy to deal with Powerful Assholes, then let me disappoint you — there’s no such thing.
Whoever tells you the opposite is lying to you.
Yet, there is a FIRST step that you can make.
Empower yourself!
If that means staying in the Finance industry, do so.
But I am NOT suggesting you should “walk on fire” or “think positive.”
I leave that to the self-help “entertaining” industry that you can find right along with the failed leadership industry.
I am suggesting that you empower yourself by being brutally honest with yourself!
It is never 100% unluck that you ended up trapped working for Powerful Assholes.
There is always some level of co-responsibility.
Even if that is only a 1% factor, it is crucial to identify it.
That will be your starting point to untrap yourself.
Being brutally honest allows you to:?
In summary:
So...
8. Are You Ready For The Next Step?
I’ve decided to end my 18 years of career working for large institutions and become a coach.
Why?
I believe there is a great need for finance professionals to get additional support in their careers.
With rare exceptions, corporate HR programs are superficial and outdated.
The “mentorship” programs offered to employees usually lead to a chit-chat coffee break with little structure and no accountability.
And even if not, there is always a high risk of conflict of interests.
This was a frustration that I had to face previously.
If you think you need something more than the traditional support channels, then I can help you!
The successful conclusion of this article starts with you.
Empower yourself.
Take action!
To learn more about my coaching programs, check here .
Alternatively, download my free book to learn strategies to empower yourself.
Nuno Reis
I am a High-Performance Coach.
I support finance practitioners to thrive in a world of uncertainty by developing a mindset that boosts their decision-making and performance.
Disclaimer: This newsletter is not financial or investment advice. It intends to be a psychological, philosophical, and systemic approach to elevate the consciousness levels in the finance & tech industries. The writing of this article wants to be gender-neutral.
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1 年Being ruthless is not a good thing, nor is being a jerk. When I hear the word "ruthless," I think of mass murderers and cartel kingpins. Jerks are the people that push you on the sidewalk. The world needs more nice people, not assholes that put money above all else. What a sad life to care more for money than humanity. That's truly being a failure in life, I think, because you're missing the entire point of existence.
IT Passionate Creative Leader | SAP Certified | SAP Activate, S/4HANA, Agile | Removing Impediments & Accelerating Journey to the Cloud
1 年Life is a paradox. Paradoxes are the only truths ??