"To Work with Purpose and Parent with Care"

It is hard being a new Managing Director. It is hard being a mom of a toddler and a breastfeeding infant. It is really hard doing both at the same time. Like really hard.

While doing both in 2018, people sometimes called me a superhero. That’s an amazing thing for people to say about you, but…I didn’t feel like a superhero. I felt awful. Well, that’s not quite fair. Yes I, personally, felt awful – I was exhausted physically and mentally. I never felt like I was doing quite enough at work. Or at home. Or for my kids. Or for my family. Or in my marriage. Or for my friends. Or my neighbors. Doing enough for myself didn’t even make the list!

It was really easy to sometimes feel overwhelmed by these feelings. However, on the other hand, I absolutely freaking love my job - I can't believe I get to do this every day! And I love my hilarious, cuddly kids. And I feel like I’m paving new roads. And maybe making it a little less hard for people in the future who may want to balance it all.

So I felt awful – but I didn’t FEEL awful.

And as 2018 closed, I reflected on my first year at a new level in a new role (that, by the way, I’m pretty sure I made up!) with 2 kids under 4, and why the year was still pretty great. I think it boils down to 3 things:

1. Mentors and Sponsors: I am so honored and blessed to have an amazing set of both internal and external people in my corner, cheering for me, guiding me, and clearing roadblocks (even, nee especially, ones I create myself!). Sometimes this includes tough love. And it almost always means pushing me out of my comfort zone. But they are what helped me navigate last year and figure out what works for me.
2. Support at Home: I am a very hands on parent, but reading Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu gave me the push I needed to begin outsourcing things that didn’t need to be done by me. And you know what? Everyone is happier for it! We’re not all drowning in to-do lists, and can, instead, actually enjoy each other’s time. Yes, stuff gets dropped (thank you cards are generally late now). But Dufu helped me to realize it’s the not the end of the world.
3. Joy: I made an effort this year to truly be present in moments of joy. Whether it was a night out with my amazing friends, movie night in with my husband, yoga class, or dancing to Baby Shark with my kids (for the millionth time!), I tried to put my phone down and really be there. This meant I could take the most benefit from it. Because these moments were harder to come by this year and took so much more planning, I was able to value them enough to be present.

I expect 2019 will be easier for me than 2018 was, or at least provide different challenges. But I am very sure I will continue to rely on these tools to get through whatever 2019 has in store! Happy New Year!

The title of this article is a quote from Becoming by Michelle Obama.