Work Life Balance. What's That?

Work Life Balance? What’s That?

Read any article or scour the internet for the term "work life balance" today, and you will discover two things….1. Nobody seems to have been able to achieve it (WLB), and (2) There’s probably a good reason for the elusiveness.

The term “work life balance” suggests that we’re putting our time into two buckets: Work and (personal) Life and that based on the definition of balance, those buckets are supposed to have an even distribution of weight.  When this perfect equilibrium is not achieved, it can often lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment.

In recent years, what we see experts, CEOs, executive coaches espousing is a shift in perspective….work life “harmony”. It is the idea that rather than aspiring to an impossible state of balance between two separate categories of work and life, we look at them as integrated, interconnected components arranged in such a way that brings satisfaction (i.e. harmony). That means sometimes work is a priority; sometimes life is a priority. Neither priority is wrong.

For most of us, never have we seen a truer picture of work life harmony as we have while trying to adjust to our new normal that is the COVID-19 Pandemic of 2020. While it feels more like chaos than harmony in a general sense, COVID-19 has forced many of us into a much more integrated work life paradigm. I would challenge you to embrace the momentum and look for ways that the current situation can help you shift from the false sense of work life balance to work life harmony. So for instance, there are time in the day, that I really need to be focused on work and may be tied up on calls, but rather than eating at my desk every day, which I would normally do for 30 minutes, I’m making the shift to intentionally disconnect from work to use that time to each lunch with the boys instead. It’s a great opportunity to recharge as well as check in with them to see how they’re  tracking against their daily schedule/tasks.  

So what are some long term strategies to keep you on the path toward work life harmony?

Clarify What’s Important To You

It’s extremely difficult to achieve balance or harmony when you don’t know what matters most to you. In Tiffany Dufu’s book Drop the Ball, she points out that the root cause of burnout isn’t that we have too much to do, but instead it’s that the things we’re doing don’t feel meaningful or reflect who we really are. I know this was very true for me until I got radically clear about what matters most to me. One of the things that brought the most clarity to me about what matters most was my mother’s passing in 2017. She was an assistant dean at Carnegie Mellon University, and after her passing, they held a gala in her honor. They showed an incredible video of different people talking about both the impact she made at the university and the impact she made in their lives. What was most inspiring is that as I met and talked to many, many people that night, they all shared memories of these profoundly meaningful acts of kindness my mother had done in their lives. After that night, I was never more clear about the importance of leaving a legacy, more committed to defining what my professional and personal legacy will be and then aligning everything in my life to it. Being mindful of the impact I want to make helps me filter my choices, arrange my priorities and form habits that are meaningful. Ultimately, knowing what’s important to you will help you better manage your time, which leads me to my next strategy for work life harmony.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Optimize Your Time

When you know what your priorities are for work and life, it’s much easier to manage your time in a way that yields more balance/harmony and meaning.

First, you will be more empowered to say “no” to things, activities, people and even seemingly good opportunities that don’t make the best contribution to your priorities or impact you want to make. After reading the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown, suggests that rather than asking what on my list of competing priorities should I say “yes” to, I should be asking what on my list will I say “no” to or eliminate.  This was a game changer for me. Some of things I started saying no to or eliminate include…

· Watching TV shows during the work week – without going into details of the legacy I’m working toward, I can assure you that television adds nothing to it any way, shape or form. In eliminating television during the week, I’m able to set aside time in the evening to meaningfully connect with my husband and get in the bed early in order to get up at 4:45AM to start my day.

· Social gatherings, invitations – With a demanding job, two kids managing my commitment making skills is vital! There is no shortage of sports activities, birthday parties, adult social gathering, volunteer opportunities, career related opportunities vying for my time. The tendency for me used to be to say yes, if I was available, without considering the harmony that both myself and my family needed. But wisdom over time has taught me, that just because the time is available doesn’t mean I should fill it. I repeat: Just because the time is available doesn’t mean I should fill it. Let me take it a step further…THIS INCLUDES YOUR WORK CALENDAR. If you’re not blocking off time on your calendar minimally for lunch but also to simply think and ideate, you’re doing yourself a disservice.  Lastly, managing your commitments to achieve more harmony in your life requires you to let go of your fear of missing out (FOMO). IT JUST DOES.                                                                                                                    

In keeping with the theme of saying no or eliminating, outsourcing is a complete game changer when it comes to optimizing time. I’m a huge fan of outsourcing. The key to embracing outsourcing is asking yourself: “Can someone else do it [better]?”

· The easiest form of outsourcing is soliciting more help from a spouse or family member. Over the years, I’ve gotten better and better at simply asking my husband for help, even with things that I have traditionally done for year.

· If you have children, they can help as well. In my household, my boys have their standard chores…taking out the trash, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. They don’t get paid for chores because everyone is expected to contribute to the functioning of the household. They also have the option to “Work for Hire”. These are paid tasks. I have specifically chosen the tasks that I need off my plate, but I don’t particularly like to do, for instance, watering the plants, cleaning out my car, etc.

· Paid Services – This is where the true magic happens. I’ve used many services to claw back some time. Fiverr is one of my favorite services. I’ve hired social media content creators to generate social media content when I operated my photography business years ago, powerpoint designers, and branding designers, etc. There are a plethora of services you can leverage from Fiverr. Speaking of social media, if your LinkedIn profile is in need of updating, you can hire someone to redo your LI profile. I’ve used personal chef services and grocery delivery services during really busy seasons. recently, I’ve looked into personal assistant service, but just haven’t pulled the trigger. The service that has been absolutely worth every penny is hiring a personal trainer. You may not consider this to be outsourcing, because I still have to show up and do the work. There are two things, however, that I get off my plate: rather than relying on my own discipline, I have someone else who holds me accountable AND, the other thing I get off my plate is the mental load of having to plan my workouts. I just show up and he tells me what to do. For someone who is leading, constantly problem solving and taking care of everyone else, having someone direct is a welcomed mental reprieve.

Set Clear Boundaries

Lastly, in order to successfully navigate work life balance/harmony, you need clear boundaries. When my kids were little, I had very clear boundaries on the amount of travel I was willing to do. I had to make some conscious choices about which roles best allowed me to honor that boundary. When the baseball season begins for my boys, I revive a new boundary with my cell phone. Their games are a no phone zone for me. So most evenings after 5:30 I’m out of pocket. I don’t check work email, social media, etc. Anyone who needs to reach me urgently knows to call. Baseball is very important in this season of their life, and because it’s important to them, I purpose to give them my undivided attention when they’re playing. Conversely, because I want my team to do the same with their families, I intentionally do not email them after 6:00. I know that if I email, they will feel compelled to respond. So, I lead by example.

This is by no means a comprehensive approach to work life harmony, but these are some of the things that work for me. As you navigate your days trying to decide what you will give your energy to, remember these three questions: 1. Is this consistent with my priorities, values, impact I want to make or legacy I wish to leave? 2. Do I have the time and if I do, do I need to fill it? Can someone else do it [better]?

Cheers!

Staci