Work Life Balance vs Work Life Integration

I recently published articles on key leadership skills not taught in business schools nor really discussed when onboarded in any organizations such as setting healthy boundaries [https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/setting-healthy-boundaries-belinda-mj-brown-mcc-4gpqe/ ] and self-care [https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/self-care-caring-others-belinda-mj-brown-mcc-sfvke/ ]. Those skills are pieces of a puzzle that needs to be assembled in a meaningful way to have a successful and sustainable career and a fulfilling life. This puzzle is what I call life integration.?

Work-life balance is opposing work and life: A Fallacy

For decades, we have invited leaders, especially women to find a balance between their work and their life. What a fallacy! How can women satisfy all their responsibilities by comparing or opposing those two areas of their lives? With this state of mind, women always lose. One way or another, there is a feeling of failure and mere guilt which leads female leaders to stretch themselves beyond what is possible neglecting their own needs to meet self-imposed or societal expectations. Moreover, when their lives turn upside down, they often end up with even more responsibilities as they carry the burden to raise children alone.?

The Power of Words: Our choice of words affect our mindset?

Several years ago, I witnessed the damaging effects of this choice of words which implied a binary state of mind. The mindset generated for the managers and leaders I was supporting was obvious. I decided to alter my language to enable and empower women to transcend the comparing/opposing perspective.?

Work-Life Integration: A New Approach Supported by Coaching

The work-life integration opens new conversations and opportunities to reconcile two important areas of their lives. I might adjust this language again in a few years if and when my new state of mind can lead to even more ease.?

Coaching is a tool to look at a situation with a fresh and enabling perspective. In coaching, we don’t do magic, we simply create an environment for reflection and assessment of behaviors and approaches that can support growth and development to better think, feel and act in unknown or uncomfortable situations. This leads to key learnings and observable behaviors affecting self, teams, organizations, families and communities. We do not evolve in isolation. Any change we make will ultimately result in a change in our relationships with others and situations. Hence, leaders offering themselves the gift of participating in a coaching program, is a gift to the world. Application to life integration When it comes to life integration, my clients are becoming extremely creative and experience relief, a sense of freedom and improve their overall well-being while significantly improving their performance at work. The formula is quite simple.?

Applying Life Integration

When it comes to life integration, my clients often experience relief, a sense of freedom, and improved overall well-being, while also significantly enhancing their performance at work. The formula is relatively straightforward:

1. Accept and Welcome What Is: Acknowledge your busy schedule and the desire to meet everyone's needs. However, start by taking care of yourself first. Visualize your upcoming weeks by color-coding your calendar: green for activities that serve your interests (e.g., gym, dinners, meetings related to your passions), and orange for activities that serve others' needs (e.g., meetings, phone calls).
2. Define What Is Important: Use various tools and techniques to assess what truly matters to you. Reflect on your eulogy, your aspirations, or your vision for the next ten years. These exercises can help you clarify your ambitions and values.
3. Focus on Impact, Not Tasks: Step back and evaluate the value of your current contributions. Are they meaningful and aligned with your priorities? Consider examples like dedicating more time to your child during their last year of high school or delegating tasks at work to create space for yourself and empower your team.
4. Think of Time as Fluid, Not Fixed: Remember moments like the birth of your first child or your wedding day. Time seemed to pass differently during those positive experiences. Similarly, when you're feeling overwhelmed, time can seem to drag on. Your mindset influences your perception of time and productivity. Choose to be present, whether at work or home, and avoid distractions like checking emails during quality time with loved ones. Emotional intelligence involves making decisions with your whole heart, which can help you bend time, become more productive, and enjoy the moment.
5. Review Your Job Description and Contract: You're not paid by the hour. Your results are determined by the impact and value you bring to your team and organization. Don't hesitate to incorporate personal time into your workday for activities like breathing, resting, connecting, exercising, or attending your child's events. If possible, arrange to drop your children off at school without feeling guilty. These moments recharge your batteries, making time feel more fluid and allowing for effective work, better decision-making, and strategic thinking. Men often demonstrate this approach more naturally, choosing without excessive emotional attachment and feeling less drained, which leads to greater agility.

Neglecting these key elements can lead to juggling, operational work, overwhelm, exhaustion, guilt, and isolation. Integration means arranging the pieces of the puzzle to create a positive image of the experience you desire. At times those pieces need to be rearranged to support a new image based on the season we are in.