Work life balance : for real?

Work life balance : myth, story, fantasy, fiction or a #buzzword?

My take : none of the above. Work life balance is real – for me. This sentence in its truest form appears to form an illusion of an oxymoron. 1. Work 2. Life 3. Balance – do they go together in a sentence? As always, the words here are #IMHO and opinions, thoughts, feedback is always welcome.

The challenge most of us have is we see work as a quantified set of time – for some 8 to 5, others 9 to 6 etc. When our day jobs encroach hours outside of this predefined notion of work we have, we think the life part of the sentence is broken. My take is : not true at all. I work 24-7. ‘What Sri – you’re crazy’. I hear this often. I’m a digital conversion evangelist at a large Fortune 500 (the world’s largest healthcare company – humble plug for my employer), a public speaker, a father of 2 aspiring artists – one a singer, songwriter and producer, the other an aspiring Broadway actress. This means many days a week involve a 120 mile round trip from Princeton, NJ where we live to New York city. Last night my older daughter had a live radio performance with one of her producers in Harlem – daddy took her there and we were home at midnight. Today I’m en-route to Seattle. Saturday is an all day effort from 8 am to 9 pm with my younger one who will toil all day in Broadway dances. Did I mention I also dabble in real estate as an investor entrepreneur? So how the heck is there work life balance?

Very simple – each one of these opportunities is a chance for me to spend time with my kids – the drives, the train rides, shepherding them all day from place to place. We discuss everything from politics to the next vacation or college applications. Last night on the ride to NYC - college essays was the discussion. I’ve realized over the years what matters most is not the hours quantified in a journal of ‘life’ in the ‘balance’ journey, but when the opportunity arises – be present in the moment and strive for quality. This means from my lens I’ve built in the balance.

I apply the same rule at work – I’m not hung up about 8 to 5 or 8 to 6 or any variation of it. There are days I’m in at 930 am, there are days I’m in at 730 am. There are days I leave at 5 because I have to be at the gym (realized that late in life and won’t compromise that anymore), and there are days I don’t get done until 9 pm. What matters the most is being present at the moment. That means when I’m at work, I’m at work – limit the distractions and deliver the quality. Everyone goes through phases of lull and excitement. Recognize and understand – enjoy the lull, leverage the excitement and anticipate the lull.

I check email morning to night – it actually allows me to be on top of my work. I don’t think of it as a burden. It’s no different than social media, whatsapp or watching a movie. I find what I do in the digital journey as no burden, but a chance to write CPG history. This approach allows me to be connected and bring passion to what I do daily.

My kids and I are on text numerous times a day. If I disconnect, it’s that many conversations I skip with them, chances to know what they are doing today or how the school day went. In 18 years of corporate life since my older daughter was born, I’ve rarely missed a school event, a parent teacher conference or a class visit. When the two were younger, YWCA camping and father daughter dances was our thing. Bottomline – find the connect and be non-negotiating about it.

Finally, the word balance – everyone has a different meaning, My plea to you – don’t quantify it by hours or time – rather by quality. Here’s some of my ways of achieving ‘balance’

1. I don’t compromise time with my kids – I own this, I decide when I have to, and I’ll be there.

2. When I’m there – I’m there, not by body, but with my mind.

3.  I find a way to exercise 4 or more times a week (started late in life, but better now than never). This is my ‘me time’ – music, gym buddy chat. Whatever drives you – I look forward to this hour.

4. When I’m at work – it’s work. Results matter and that’s what I’m focused on – outcomes. Process doesn’t work well with me – it’s a proxy for success, unless I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with a process – which does happen on occasion. I’m focused on outcomes.

5. When I’m with friends in social company -I’m there engaged. In the dialogue, in the moment.

6. I love my Yankees, Giants and VT football. Nothing competes with these when they play.

7. My travel time doesn’t involve a laptop – I’ve swapped for an iPad (strangely it reduces the burden, and provides entertainment time).

8. I love what I do in my entrepreneur engagements – this means I make time for those too.

9. My spouse and I have found ways to find the balance together – when I’m not travelling, we cook as a family and eat dinner together.

10.                  Finally – I do sleep (before anyone asks). I’ve now learned how to take catnaps. Precious little things. Rejuvinators. 15 minutes can make a massive difference.

In closing – see work life balance not as quantity but as quality. I find a lot folks complaining they are overburdened at work. You own this – you decide when to say no. When saying no remember you own you career just like your life – make wise choices and it’s going to be ok.

Your thoughts are always welcome. Own this : ‘work hard, have fun, make history happen’ – in everything you do. I’ve learned this from my kids.