Work-Life Balance… Myth or Reality?

I’ll never forget an interaction I had with a gentleman who was a client of mine while I was in my late twenties. He told me, “you can’t have it all.” At that point in my career I took offense to this comment and couldn’t imagine not shooting for the brass ring; a fulfilling career and a family. Fast forward about 5 years to the birth of my twins, and my world was forever changed. I managed to continue working and advancing my career while raising twin babies. It was when we decided to move to the suburbs increasing my commuting time that I realized I needed to make a change.

I was fortunate to be working for a progressive company that had flexible work arrangements.  There was a proposal process where you needed to show you could add value to the business while working part time. I was able to demonstrate that I could lead others without being there every day. My proposal was accepted and it gave me that balance to continue working towards my career goals while spending time with my family. I was often asked how I achieved this. This leads me to tip #1.

Ask for it. How will anyone know what you want if you don’t ask for it? Make your wants known. Be able to articulate your value proposition.

After working the flexible work arrangement for a while I started to ask for advice from my mentors regarding moving up in the organization. The advice I got from one seasoned working mom was to look at my career in stages and that I may be OK with continuing to work and progress at a slower pace while my kids were small. While that made sense, I was still shooting for that brass ring. Then I got pregnant with baby number 3. To say the least, my world was turned upside down, trading in my sedan for a minivan, no more man to man defense but I became a master of the zone defense. In the end, finding childcare for 3 kids was a challenge with my schedule and I needed to redefine myself once again. This leads me to tip #2.

Determine what you want. This is probably the first step because how can you ask for what you want until you know what that is. I knew I wanted to continue to do fulfilling work where I was helping to improve business performance. I knew it had to be on my terms where I could be home for a school event, sporting game or play. By examining my skills, my passion and what was desired in the market, I was able to define what I wanted and went for it. This resulted in landing my first consulting project and developing my consulting company. 

This “phase” in my career has been the most rewarding to date.  Not only allowing me to work with some fantastic companies helping them improve their business performance but employing others and building a network I never dreamed of. It also allowed me to manage my own schedule, providing me with the work-life balance I needed.

Now as my kids get older I am ready for the next phase. Several authors on this subject have discussed the notion of “work-life integration.” The proliferation of access to technology with smart phones allows us to be connected at all times. While this can cause you to be distracted at times it also allows you to tend to business from anywhere. Can you include your kids in your work, allowing them to learn some valuable skills while spending time with them? Talk about your work with them so they understand the impact you are making. This allows you to do work during non-traditional working hours while being there for your kids. 

So in the end, what is work-life balance? Is it a myth or can it be reality? I think it all depends how you define it.  For me it has been a reality which I never would have pictured starting out as an ambitious young woman. My goals have changed as well as the definition of the “brass ring.” I have redefined my career goals based on my phase in life and created the opportunities that fit into that lifestyle.

I would love to hear about your experience with work-life balance and how you make it work.

Karen Friedenberg is the owner of Performance Improvement Consulting, mother of 3 beautiful children, wife and community volunteer.