Is Work-Life Balance a Myth?

The Over-Used Phrase

I know we've all heard the term - probably more than we'd like to - but what does it mean,?really? I'm sure we've all experienced the workplace conversations that feel the need to mention "Work-Life Balance" and how we should all feel supported in taking time off, not working 'too hard', and strive to find that balance between our jobs [in one nice and tidy box] and the rest of our lives [in a different box tied up with a pretty bow].?

I have to say, while the intentions are usually good, I take issue with this approach. It just doesn't work for me. Disclaimer: Now, let me tell you - if this separation of work and life adds value and happiness to your existence - I'm genuinely supportive of you staying the course. Remember, everyone's journey looks different, and we all have to find what works best for us.?But for anyone still struggling in this area, I'd love to share what I have found works for me.?

Work-Life Fulfillment

I don't know about you, but my life can be hectic! There is a lot to manage, and to be honest, yes,?I do it to myself! I work as a Global Program Developer and Trainer, am the chair of an amazing Volunteer Ambassador Network, am an advocate and speaker for the complete eradication of Human Trafficking and am an Empowerment Guide just to name a few of the hats I wear. Not to mention being a proud wife and mom. Needless to say, I don't find myself with much "Work-Life Balance". Not to say I haven't tried. When this topic first burst on the scene, I thought it sounded great but when I attempted to put it into practice, I found myself putting everything I was involved in into silos. Silos that never interacted, that had their designated times and allotted attention spans and I outfitted each of those silos with "On/Off" switches. The idea was to be cognizant of how much time I was dedicating to each silo and making sure there was some balance and time left to invest in my 'life'. Problem was - everything in those silos IS my life and nothing could be balanced because each demanded something different from me at each interaction. Imagine putting each of those 'hats' and all they?entail?into buckets and weighing each one. Would your family weigh more than your job? Your job more than your extracurricular activities? Would you denote one area of your life to be more valuable than the other? Me too, so striving for 'balance' wasn't a good fit. I tried the structured and rigid approach of "start working at 'x'?time and as soon as it's 'y' time turn off - completely unplug and don't think about work anymore until the next day". Discovery: my mind does NOT work that way! I would find myself thinking about volunteer opportunities as a result of work conversations and I would draw inspiration for a work project from a public speaking event. In my opinion, all aspects of our lives are not meant to be divided into boxes - they're meant to be interconnected. That's when I shifted focus from "Work-Life Balance" to "Work-Life Fulfillment".?

Fulfilling Our Purpose

The moment I made this shift, it seemed as though all of the puzzle pieces that were once scattered about fell into place. I no longer felt the added stress of making sure I 'flipped the switch' between tasks. Instead, I allowed my mind to flow freely between ideas, capitalizing on the shared experiences and continued learning from each area of life. This process did not come without its trials and iterations. Far from it - but when I allowed myself the flexibility to address the needs in my life when they needed to be addressed, not when I scheduled them to be, I found increased productivity and purpose. For example, moms and dads out there, you know that working from home has added an entirely new dynamic to the 'home-workplace'. If you have kids, you know the feeling of being asked 20 questions in the middle of a meeting that you're supposed to be driving. In the "Work-Life Balance" process, I found myself inching closer and closer to the constantly stressed and annoyed wife or mom because of interruptions or distractions during my 'designated work time'. Don't you see the lit up, neon "ON AIR" sign outside my office door?! That brought a very yucky feeling. Not only added stress but then the guilt of not fulfilling my duties at home to the best of my ability. It was as though these two boxes were demanding my attention and I could only address one until I was released from my post and?allowed?to address the other - at which point, depending on the circumstance, may have either resolved itself or compounded into another situation sure to bring more stress and, thus, frustration. That was NOT going to work for me. My family deserves the best version of myself, my coworkers deserve the best version of myself, and?I?deserve the best version of myself. Putting up walls wasn't delivering on that need. So now, if I'm on a high stakes work call with strategic stakeholders, I take the time to prep a little extra around the house before?to make sure I will have an uninterrupted and productive meeting. Does this take extra time away from my inbox? Sure. Is the ROI worth it? You bet! Now, when I'm leading a call that is of lesser consequence or in a more laid-back setting and my daughter has a question about her math homework or needs help getting a snack - you better believe I'm going to take the 30 seconds to be there for her. I know my coworkers well enough to know they won't mind and that in taking the time to do?that simple thing for a member of my family, I'm fulfilling my purpose and being the best version of myself. That is worth it! Now, when I have a break between meetings and am caught up on emails and the dishes need to be done or I need some 'me time', I won't continue working because I am wearing that hat that is figuratively attached to my head until the clock hits 5 PM. I'll do the dishes, go for a walk, or run to grab my newly found weakness - an acai berry bowl. You'd be amazed how much clearer my mind is when I sit back down to finish up a project or send the next email - I'm actually productive instead of spinning my tires for the next 30 minutes to an hour on one topic feeling inundated the entire time. This process of full integration of Work and Life has brought more fulfillment in the last year, which has sparked more inspiration to continue improving and to focus on that which drives me. Which brings me to the side effects...

Perks of the Process

There is one thing that I discovered along this process that I feel is crucial to pass on - that is the side effect of a "Work-Life Fulfillment" implementation. Things that don't matter, that don't add value, or that you're not passionate about become dead weight. And as much as I like a good workout, I'm NOT dragging that around and you shouldn't either. For me this process was relatively painless as the things I willingly added to my plate were things I felt passionate about - they were things I had to do to fulfill my purpose but anything that didn't measure up to that standard was ditched...quickly.?

Luckily, I love my job. I'm passionate about the technology, the opportunities for our world in this upcoming digital age of information and the possibilities to advance leaps and bounds bringing our Universe [and beyond] closer together. It seriously excites me! The same goes for public speaking, empowerment and the love I have for my family. However, there were certainly areas of my life that I found were adding no value for me or anyone else. They were mundane tasks that I was doing because I had been programmed to do them. Literally no other reason but that it was something I was "supposed" to do. Not that I wanted to do and not that I needed to do to better myself. Do you have areas of your life that feel this way? If so, "Work-Life Fulfillment" will let you know. How? Well, through this process you become more present. When everything is connected, and you give yourself permission to be fully available to every part of your life you become very aware of when you're simply 'going through the motions'. You'll find yourself wondering, what am I doing? Why am I doing it? Is it adding value to my life or the lives of my loved ones? Am I passionate about this? No? Then I'm not doing it!?What's the point? After all, you're in control! Don't waste that power and give yourself up to mental captivity. At first, it may be difficult to break some of these proverbial chains but oh, how rewarding it is?to be set free.?

Go Forth and Flourish

Regardless of how you do it, and regardless of what you call the process, I truly hope this inspires you to #EmbraceYourGreatness and realize that you deserve the best version of yourself. By being present, giving yourself the validation that your purpose can be fulfilled every day, that you can continue growing and live the life that you want to live - and believing in yourself to do so - will produce the best Work-Life Fulfillment you've experienced to date.?

As always, we can't learn from your experiences unless you share them with us and, trust me, there is so much value in hearing from you. Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment, sharing this blog, or connecting with me! I'd love to hear from you and we're happy to have you in the #EmbraceYourGreatness community.?