Work-Life Balance is a Myth
Angelo Melchiorre has faced the grind, working around the clock to fill 350 roles in record time. He’ll be the first to tell you that achieving work-life balance is a myth. But what he’s mastered is aligning his career with what truly matters—freedom and family. Curious how he makes it all work? Dive into his full interview below to find out.?
Q: I'd love to hear a bit about your background and how you got to where you are today, especially with the brand and content you've created.
It's a long journey, but I'll give you the condensed version. When I came out of school, I knew I was destined for a sales role because I love connecting with people. I stumbled across recruiting at a job fair. I started with Judge Group, which was my first firm. I was there for nearly 11 years, mostly in tech recruiting, but during the pandemic, I got into the mortgage space and led multi-million dollar projects. Recruiting is interesting because you always have to be available when candidates are, and it can be challenging.?
About five years in, I stopped caring about money and focused on people, and I thrived. I made more money and enjoyed my work more. I realized that balance is a myth; it's more about work-life alignment. For me, that's freedom and family. When I became a parent in 2016, I realized I needed to align my work with my values. I turned down a big promotion because it didn't align with my values. Now, I'm back in recruiting as a producer, which I love because it lets me connect with people.
Q: You mentioned work-life alignment versus work-life balance. Can you explain the difference?
Work-life balance is a myth.
Balance implies a 50-50 split, which is unrealistic. Most people spend at least eight hours a day at work, and then they're stressed and not present at home. Work-life alignment, or harmony, means understanding that there are times when you have to work harder. It's about aligning your work with your values. For me, those are freedom and family. I make decisions based on whether they give me more or less of those. It's about reshaping your perspective and understanding that life's not black and white. You need to be okay with the ebb and flow of work and life. For example, some days you might have to work later, and other days you might leave early. It’s about finding peace with those decisions by aligning them with what you truly value.
Q: If people are chasing balance but don't know their values, how do they start figuring that out?
Start by slowing down.
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It starts with asking yourself the question and taking time to slow down. It won't come to you immediately. It could be as simple as going for a walk without your phone and asking yourself:
When you hit on the right values, you'll feel it. For me, it was asking "for what and why" over a few years until I realized I wanted more freedom and family. You can also jot down ideas as they come to you, using sticky notes or a journal. It’s a process of self-discovery that requires you to disconnect from distractions and reflect on what’s truly important to you.
Can you share a time when work-life balance was hard for you? How did you handle it?
Find someone who can give you a dose of reality.
During COVID, while the world slowed down, my work sped up. We went from no hiring to needing to fill 350 roles in a few months. My team grew, and I was managing delivery on the project. It was a 24/7 job, with constant work and demands. I had two kids under three and was training for a marathon. It was overwhelming, and my mental health struggled. I had to take a hard look and realize this wasn't the path I wanted. I didn't want to climb the ladder anymore. I wanted to focus on my values and fill the buckets of my life in different areas.?
It starts with asking yourself the hard questions and having someone close to you who can be real with you. It's easy to get out of alignment when you throw yourself into your career without asking for help. The workload was intense and relentless. I was leading a team that had expanded from 7 to 40 people, handling dashboard analytics, and ensuring we met daily targets. Despite the financial rewards, it was mentally exhausting. I realized I couldn't sustain this pace without sacrificing my family and personal health.?
My wife was a crucial support during this time, helping me stay grounded. It’s important to have someone who can give you a reality check and remind you of your values when you're too caught up in the grind.
Thanks so much, Angelo! Check out more of his story on LinkedIn here.
I help CEOs Explode Revenue, Wow Customers, & Keep Great People by building Strategy, Leaders, Culture, & Change capacities to go from Chaos to Clarity. President & Founder | Master Cat Herder.
6 个月Oh, for crying out loud. WLB is barely a metaphor; worse, it isn't even a decent analogy. Balance, in this case, doesn't imply anything. You inferred it meant 50/50. Like there is actual physical weight to these ideas. The concepts of work, life, spirituality, financial health, etc., are just that: concepts, constructs, if you will. Yes, Piotrowski meant it precisely as you framed it: two things (like there are only two!!) on either side of the balance scales. But that is a puerile, simplistic view of life and work. Especially considering the boundary Piotowski mentioned (mixing metaphors) is blurred by technology (WFH) or redefined by WFA. WLB has always been a myth because it is a framework to observe how we manage our time and priorities without burning out. And that is what we all need to strive for. Not to argue whether WLB is real or a myth or just a way to hold the space for the consideration. Don't be so literal. This is leadership's major failing and the most significant indicator of the lack of critical thinking ability.
Recruiter for Accounting Pros | Dad Community Builder | Host of The Real Dad Life Podcast | Dad X2
7 个月This was such an awesome time Vangi Gibson, thanks for providing the opportunity to share this message. My hope is for readers to challenge their current perspective on "work-life balance" and create a new view that works for them.
HubSpot Certified Marketer | WYRE Technology
7 个月LOVE his courage to say what we've all learned over the years, but is still making the rounds out in the big, wide world: "Work-life balance is a myth."