Work-Life Balance & Mom

The other day, I saw a short clip of Indra Nooyi talking about the hustle of women to make her career, looking after kids, and family altogether. You cannot have it all. It is not a smooth sailing for everyone. You can listen to Conversation with PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi despite this video being old and still surfacing on the internet showcases how women even in 2024 relate to this stigma of women getting married and settling down, having kids, having family, and juggling career achievements.

I must say a lot of women can relate to the video even when you are a CEO, you have to leave behind everything and look after your home. I am not going into any dispute about what women must do and not do, as it is an endless debate. You have to make your coping mechanism which suits you the best. Similarly, everyone is different and faces different situations.

The other day, I came across a WhatsApp status of a friend of mine. I randomly texted her upon seeing the video call screenshot with her child. So, I asked, you both are not living together to which she said, No. I asked, how come? I cannot trust anyone with my child. How do you do this? So, she told me about her family concept. The child lives with grandparents (Nani-Nana) and she works carefree.

This has been in her house even when she was a kid, she was raised by her grandmother (Nani) as her mother was a working woman too. I was so overwhelmed with this concept that I thought why this is not happening too often in most households? This will resolve many problems for a woman. Long-distance relationships, and long-distance friendships, all are acceptable why can't there be Long-distance motherhood or parenthood?

This whole concept of long-distance motherhood will not only give them a purpose to enjoy their lives with little kids even after retirement but also give them a little extra hope to live even more. This will also create a stronger bond between the generations that are nowadays drifting apart. It will bring them closer. The younger ones will learn moral values and ethos from elders while we are away working peacefully and catching up with them on weekends instead of clubbing.

Apart from that, this whole idea is different from a nanny taking care of a child, leaving a child to daycare, someone else babysitting your child, and other such things. Why aren't families coming together to raise a child? (exceptions are everywhere)

The saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child" but when it is the most crucial time or phase when a woman needs the most support (first 5 years of child post birth) no one shows up. They all want them to experience it all and enjoy their journey of motherhood. They will come up with all their "gyaan"(knowledge). It is a new phase of life. Everyone will have some or the other thing to say when it comes to giving advice. But when a helping hand is needed no one will show up. This is so tragic!

Why does all this happen? Just because now, it's your turn, we have lived our lives with all the chaos and chores in hand juggling with everything. Now, it's our time to rest peacefully. Besides, we have already done a lot in our times, we took care of our family, and child, worked hard, and that too without any help, Now, you have house help, maids, and whatnot. Women, in general, are not willing to help women. When this vicious cycle will stop? Why women do not want other women to reach the pinnacles of success in terms of their careers? They want their sons to earn and run the family why can't they equally support their daughters/ daughters-in-law? Does this sound right?

I believe more men are coming in support of women rather than women themselves. They are learning all life skills and helping partners with daily chores. This will take a lot of time for women to break this generational trauma of suffering. This will only come from thinking, I have juggled a lot, and I will not let this happen to my daughter/DIL.

What is your opinion on long-distance motherhood? Will you trust your parents with your kids? And willing to do the same for your child's kid?

P.S.: No one knows what's written in the Book of Life. Still, giving priority to our health can help us maintain a healthy life and make us capable of looking after our grandchildren.