Work-Life Balance:

Reflections of a Recovering Nonprofit Executive Director

As a Gen-X’er raised in Canada by immigrant parents who sacrificed immensely to give my brother and I a good and safe life here in Canada, hard work has been a constant in my life.? We were raised to work hard and cautioned that we needed to work twice as hard as the white kids just to break even (something I know many, if not most, other immigrant kids heard all through their childhoods).? Because of my background, experiences, and influences, I was – for better or worse - inevitably drawn to community and social justice work.? Add to this a commitment to social justice and being in service, and you’ve got a recipe for…. Well, let’s just say that these virtues have their benefits, but they also have a distinct shadow side.

For many of us in the nonprofit sector, these virtues leave us vulnerable to martyring ourselves for the sake of the work and impact and makes it that much harder for us to find any sense of this elusive, utopic [pregnant pause] “Work. Life. Balance” [cue dramatic, cinematic, orchestral swell].

Like so many of you – I burnt out in my work as an Executive Director at least twice but kept going because, as always: the needs were too great, the under-resourcing was too great, and the compounding crises kept occurring.? By the time I left my last ED role last year, I was also very close to quitting the nonprofit sector, altogether.

But I didn’t.? I couldn’t.? Thankfully.

Instead, I’ve been motivated by how to have impact without killing myself in the process.? I promised (aka: forced!) myself to take plenty of time off before jumping into the next thing.? I needed and wanted precious time to rest, recuperate and reflect – practices I never had time, space, or resources for before.? And that’s a problem. That time has been revolutionary for me, my mental health, and my physical health.? And it’s also what I wish everyone in this sector had access to.? I’m sure that, intellectually, we all understand this is exactly what every single one of us needs.? However, this work’s extractive nature rarely allows it.? In fact, it often aggressively denies us this rest, recuperation, and reflection.

And let me be clearer:? How we collectively approach, position, under-resource, and under-value this work and, by extension, ourselves is the true problem.

We are stuck in a scarcity mentality that is pervasive across the sector and among its funders (many of whom have – incidentally and problematically – never worked in a nonprofit themselves).

I think, particularly, of direct service organizations, for example – which includes increasingly complicated and dangerous lifesaving work that is being downloaded from government on to under-funded nonprofits. Those organizations often end up fighting and/or begging for the resources needed to deliver the very services they are contracted to do.? Sit with that absurdity a moment.? An organization is contracted and mandated to deliver a service but still must fight for the very resources to deliver it.? It's the same absurdity that leaves us precariously dependent on the generosity of individual donors and the philanthropic community to do this important, impactful work.??

Staff are underpaid, staff at all levels are burnt out and disillusioned, structures are insufficient, and many are leaving the sector altogether.? People in the sector are struggling which, in turn, means that the organizations and sector are struggling.

None of this is ok.

But I am encouraged by several things.??

First off, starting close to home, I DID take that time and I DID rest, recuperate, and reflect.? The most critical outcome of this is that I am learning a new baseline for myself: what it feels like to be healthier and better-balanced.? I’m grounded in my body differently and I now have a new sustainable and healthy baseline from which to recognize and avoid damaging and unhealthy patterns or scenarios.? This new baseline is also teaching me a new reality: what my mind and body feel like and is capable of when it’s not constantly under stress, duress, and in pain.? Anything less than this new baseline now distinctly feels like an inappropriate and problematic disservice. To this chronic workaholic Gen X’er, that’s pretty damn revolutionary.?

And secondly, there’s a growing number of you doing the same for yourselves, your organizations and – by extension – the sector.? It’s reassuring, motivating, and invigorating!?

I salute all of you who are embarking on major career and life transitions that prioritize you and your health in order to allow you to have a deeper more sustainable impact.? I salute each of you that is resisting the urge to survive at all (damaging) costs and insisting on ways to thrive, instead.?

As you do, I implore you to give yourself grace, patience, time, and kindness through these transitions.? It might not be as smooth as you might like.? It might not roll out exactly as you plan or hope.? It might even have hurt as you push back, pivot, unlearn patterns, and navigate your needs.? That’s ok.? You don’t have to be perfect.? Indeed, you can’t be perfect. Practice letting go of perfection. Right now, this feels like my new lifelong practice. And I’m grateful for it.

I know, I know…this is all easier said than done. But aren’t you worth it?? Aren’t we worth it?? Our time on this rock is short and nothing is more important than a healthy you and a healthy us. That’s what we’ve been fighting for all along, isn’t it?

I see you all, and I love you all!? We got this!