Work Life Balance Is A Lie
Work Life Balance Doesn't Exist . . .
We hear about this holy grail called Work Life Balance, as though it’s a pinnacle goal to achieve and, once attained, we will exist in perfect harmony with the universe. The bounties of life will open up before us, and not only will our work prosper, but so too will our home life and social prowess fall into a place of perfection and grace.
Well, I’m calling a spade a spade, and work life balance doesn’t exist. It’s a commonly held lie that leads us into internal conflict and tension. The search for this Shangri-La state of being has a lot to do with the suffering we place upon ourselves.
In order for these two sides to be in balance, we are making the assumption that the two sides are on opposite sides of the scale. Immediately we are positioning the two concepts, Work vs Life as opposed to each other, and if one becomes too heavy we must either unweight it, or add more weight to the other side to create counter balance and a sense of equilibrium.
How do we measure such things? If work builds in responsibility, say towards a new project or an increase in business, do we then have to take on more projects at home? Or less??
Do we push away this increasing work responsibility? If we could easily push away responsibility, then it wouldn’t be a responsibility at all would it. Responsibilities can not be easily discarded. That’s their very nature!
And should we find ourselves in the mindset of home life, over work life, then what made us come to that assertion in the first place? Yes, home life is important and vital to our well being. But if home life outweighs work life in activity, time, priority and it always supersedes work life, then haven’t we unbalanced and gone too far in the other direction? Is our work productivity and interest not going to wane and falter should our home life win the proverbial tug-o-war?
There are inherent challenges and flaws with the work life balance paradigm, and?both my personal experience and from the experiences of my clients, it leads to more problems than solutions. The tension and conflict it creates when these two allegedly opposing viewpoints and values, work vs. life, becomes hard to reconcile. Amongst leaders, owners and workers that struggle with this push and pull, a large majority of them have the work life balance philosophy deeply ingrained in their psyche.
"The mind is everything. What you think you become.” - Buddha
There is no way, if you maintain the work life balance outlook that you can ever know if it is attained, and as such, you will be perpetually dissatisfied! When you’re at work, you’ll be thinking about how this is affecting and impacting your home life. And when you’re at home, you’ll be concerned about any infiltrating thoughts of work that enter your mind. It’s not a good way to be. Our mental health has been taking a beating, and having these competing drivers and values in the forefront of our minds is a contributing factor to the dissonance of how we show up in the domains of our lives.
I would like to present an alternative to the work life balance axiom:?Work Life Integration. Stop fighting and sparring these two concepts against each other. It’s a waste of energy and effort. We’ve all heard the saying,?“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.”?
While perhaps this quote is overly simplistic to the detailed and complex ideas of work life integration, the core of its meaning is true. So how do you achieve this? What’s the process or plan to shift from the competitive mindset of work and life, to the healthier and collaborative mindset of integrating both together?
I would start with defining your strengths. If you know what you’re good at, then you’ll have the ability to focus and apply those strengths to areas of your work and life where possible. For example, my strengths according to the?VIA Institute of Character?are:?
The actual report dives deeper into each of these, for example what they mean, definitions, and how they can be integrated into one's daily life and work. I also work with my coaching clients to explore and define these traits into their life and work goals. This level of awareness is massively valuable. Essentially, the more I can take these top five strengths and include each one into the actions, behaviours, projects, relationships and core meaning of what I do, the higher my level of purpose will be. That's a good thing!
We strive for happiness, self efficacy, and deep satisfaction in who we are and what we do.?What do we mean to ourselves and to others. Fulfilling these strengths is a direct path to reframe the work life balance into the work life integration paradigm.
领英推荐
The other excellent place to start looking is your values.?David Allison, who is the mind behind the Value Graphics Project is upending the demographic based marketing world. Knowing what our values are, and then applying them to the domains of our life and work is an excellent way to link what matters to us, as individuals, to the greater picture, and to the greater service in the world we live in. Studies are showing that the more we can add and apply our values to what we do and how we do it, then the better sense of self we have. This self awareness tool can then allow us to work in a career or workplace that matches at least?some?of our values, and we can directly influence our team, our family and our social circles to the values that integrally matter to us, and thus bringing them to the fore.?
My core values are:
Whenever I have the chance to develop and instill these core values into my work and life, or have them be present in the businesses, groups, and people with whom I associate, the more fulfilled and satisfied I am, which increases my sense of personal well being. It just feels good.?
Exploring what matters to us, matters! Our self awareness, and the philosophies we hold create a ripple effect into the world and space around us, impacting both our own state of mind, and the people with whom we engage on a daily basis.
Perhaps you used to, and still do, subscribe to the outlook of work life balance! Hopefully, this post plants a seed of curiosity within you. If so, then this article has done its job.?
Change takes time, and there are no quick hacks to real?meaningful transformation and growth.
If you are interested in exploring your strengths, values, life domains and getting some personal coaching or developing your business leadership team, don’t hesitate to reach out to me via the following channels:
Edwyn Kumar
Ultra Team Development
778.558.7210